November 15, 2022 by Mike Madden

What the hell is that?

Thai Diet

I’ll start this edition with Zac, and a sequence of events that are both unbelievable, and quite predictable at the same time. He settled in to hostel life in Thailand, and then he went to the wilder parts of the country. Although he was in the wilderness, he found a 7/11 that sold cheese and ham toasties, and that became his staple diet. I asked him what he had eaten previously, and he was not quite sure. He knew that there were noodles, as well as curry and rice, but these were often accompanies by “mystery meats”. I can imagine ham and cheese toasties being heaven after that assault on his palate.

He progressed to Chiang Mai where he visited the elephant orphanage, and then onto the party city of Pai. Unfortunately, his repetitive diet caught up with him and he was ill for a few days. This gave him a chance to catch up with his sleep, and figure out just what he wanted to do next.

Driving Home For Christmas

When he started his adventure he sent me his details on FindMyIphone, so I could track him through Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Pai, and so on. Occasionally it could not find him, but that was usually because his phone had died.

Last Monday it looked like the tracking system had broken as it pinpointed him in Stockport. I thought about deleting and reinstalling the app, but as I watched I noticed his location progressing along the A6. The penny dropped. He had decided to come home, and he planned to arrive Sunday night, two days before his birthday. Air France conspired against him, delaying his flight so that he had to be put up in Paris Airport. It was not all bad news, as his delay would probably gain him around £550. Eventually, he made his way along Walters Wood, and much to his mum’s and his brother’s surprise, he walked into the house just as if it was any other Monday.

Plan B

He had had enough for now, but planned to go back out after Christmas. This meant that he could enjoy his birthday and the festive season, and the compensation from Air France meant that it had cost him very little. I always knew he was not completely daft!

Kitchen Traditions

I have been quite busy in the kitchen, with cornflake tart, sticky toffee pudding, and of course, pumpkin pie. However, Sally has also tried her hand at a few things.

What’s In A Name?

One dish in particular was quite remarkable. I think that it started off as some kind of sweet potato chilli, but it was not readily identifiable as that. When I asked Sally what it was, she admitted that she was not quite sure. It maybe had the texture of corned beef hash! One of her friends, however, was a little more blunt, or you could say that she had given it a new name. “What the hell is that?” seems quite catchy. It remained virtually untouched for a couple of says, before Sally admitted, “It’s got some hard bits in it and I don’t really like it,” and it was consigned to the bin.

What the hell is that?

Ole refused to eat it, and a couple of weeks later, with the pan of “what the hell is that?” still fresh in the memory, he found a pan of turkey chilli on the stove. The text exchange went like this.

Cornflake tart

Its Autumn, so there is always the Creole Cake to get under way. It seems to have baked particularly well this year.

Star Souvenirs

Star Of Lady M has finished for the year, but our involvement with her certainly has not. We decided to go to the excellent Headmasters in New Mills, where we ordered embroidered gilets and bobble hats. Not sure what we are going to do with them yet!

We went to see her after the traditional October finale at York, and she was already on the walker, showing great progress in her recuperation. Sally decided to try her with some Polo mints, but to be honest I don’t really think Star knew what to do with them. All of the stable were confident that she would make a full recovery, and we look forward to seeing her on a racecourse in April 2023.

Magnificent Middlethorpe

The York finale presented us with the opportunity to stay at Middlethorpe Hall once again, giving us the 10th anniversary of our first stay there. I highly recommend this hotel if you are ever at York races.

The Duchess Delivers (almost)

Emerald Duchess returned to Leicester, scene of her gallant third place from early September. Many of those in The 1891 Group syndicate thought that she had grown since they last saw her. Duran Fentiman was our jockey, and he was supremely confident in the parade ring. “Just go out there and win” was his instruction.

She broke very well, and travelled down the course looking as good as she ever had. The syndicate were ecstatic as she took the lead. There were screams, squeals and cheers as we thought she might win. She eventually finished second, as the favourite went past her on the wide outside. It was a great performance, giving us renewed optimism for her future. Her TopSpeed rating of 22 was bizarrely low, and her RPR of 54 was much more indicative of her improved showing. She was raised 2lbs to 52 by the official handicapper.

Return To Redcar

She ran again at Redcar at the start of November, but she hated the ground and got bumped into a couple of furlongs from home. She finished fifth, and although we were disappointed, it really showed that our expectations had increased. A TopSpeed of 13 and RPR of 33 were fully expected, but she was only dropped 1lb to 51. We look forward to her getting her head in front in the early part of next season. Shares of her are still available at the cost of £3,750 that includes 10% full ownership and one year’s training fees.

The Redcar day out was interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the lady at the gate recognised us from Star Of Lady M’s race in April. Secondly, we went into the stand and tried to remember where we were stood when Star Of Lady M won. Neither Sally nor myself could remember exactly, but a lady came up to us, pointed, and said, “You were there”. She remembered us from that day back in April, as she had never seen anyone so excited when their horse had won.

A Stocking Filler

Finally, from the horseracing world, my latest book, From Tattersalls To Triumphs, is now available to purchase on Amazon. The book details our first year of racehorse ownership, and all proceeds will be donated to the Injured Jockeys Fund and Retraining Of Racehorses charities.

       

From Tattersalls To Triumphs

As part of the promotion I have done interviews on RacingTV and Tattersalls TV, and I was featured in the Owner Breeder magazine for October. This was particularly useful, as the cover featured Queen Elizabeth II.

   

Owner Breeder magazine

Tattersalls TV

The Tattersalls interview was recorded at the Book 3 sale, and although we did not purchase this year, there were many well-wishers, including Luke, David O’Meara and Jason Kelly, Tim and William Easterby, Richard Kent, and the team from Cheveley Park. Looking forward to going back there at the end of November for the mare sale.

The Absurdity Of Queues

The NFL did not disappoint once again, as myself and Ole went down to London to watch the Packers take on the Jets at the Tottenham Stadium. With Zac in Thailand we took family friend Bruce Glover with us, and it was a straightforward journey from Macclesfield to Seven Sisters via Euston. It was quite a walk from there, but the weather was fine and there were some colourful sights.

As we approached the stadium we encountered our first queue of the day. It snaked around the concourse, stretching for several hundred yards, and we were thankful that it was not our entry queue. Instead, it was the queue for the merchandise shop, and it must have been at least an hour from joining the queue to actually making a purchase. Fortunately, we sidestepped this melee, and quickly rose to the VIP area. Ole and Bruce were very impressed as they tucked into smoked salmon, roast lamb, and unlimited Amstel.

Nachogate

The game itself was a close one, but at half time we returned to our table for nachos. It seemed that they had not given us enough nachos, so we asked for more. The head waiter came out with quite possibly the most ridiculous comment I have ever heard in a restaurant. Apparently, the chef knows how many people there were on each table and therefore he filled each bowl of nachos according to their destination. We had three on our table, and therefore we would have had a bowl for three. The waiters and waitresses had no idea which table each bowl went to until someone stuck their hand up, debunking the waiter’s crazy notion. Eventually, the manager came over and she admitted it was nonsense, they had simply run out!

The game continued into the second half, and we realised that there was one thing missing – cheerleaders! I know it is cold in Green Bay, but they still have cheerleaders – has the PC World gone mad?

Queuing For The Sake Of It

After the game we returned to our seats for hot dogs and more Amstel as we waited for the crowds to disperse. Eventually, we headed back to Seven Sisters where it was clear that there were still thousands heading our way. Just beyond the stadium there was a ridiculous queue to enter a grassed area. The only facility inside the grassed area was a burger van, and despite the presence of many more food outlets, including rival burger vans, in the immediate vicinity, these particular burgers must have been good enough to persuade people to queue for half an hour or more. We continued on towards our destination. The police clearly wanted to steer everyone through one entrance at Seven Sisters, and the queue began several hundred yards from the tube station. We tried two other tube station entrances, but they were blocked off.

More Than One Way To Skin A Cat

We tried Uber, but they wanted upwards of £50, then we hatched a cunning plan. Around the corner, just a few hundred yards away, was the entrance to the Seven Sisters overground station. So we headed for that. The overground station shares an entrance with the underground, but it would appear that no one told the police or the rest of the queue. We got straight onto a train and arrived at Euston in time for a pint before our return to Macclesfield!

Once Upon A Time…

Fern Farm has taken delivery of three little pigs. Dave has built them a house of metal, so I guess he has read the fairytale! They love apples and my jeans. Will hopefully get some videos in the near future.

   

Toadstools

Have you noticed the proliferation of fungi this year? There has been plenty in the garden, but on a walk around Fernilee there were a lot of very bright toadstools. Certainly would not recommend them for a salad.

Eating Out

We had a recommendation to visit the Barrel Inn at Bretton several years ago, but Covid got in the way. A couple of weeks ago we decided to try it out, and we were not disappointed. Fabulous roast dinner, very friendly service, and stunning views across the valley. Well worth the journey which is around 25 minutes from Whaley Bridge.

Previous Edition

Black Type And Blackberries

July 5, 2022 by Mike Madden

Fairytale Of Newmarket To Ascot

The Star Of The Fairytale

The fairytale that began at Newmarket last October reached new heights as we ventured to Royal Ascot. Our story was headlined by our own princess, Star Of Lady M. She was entered into the Windsor Castle, a Listed race open to colts and fillies, and we were drawn 1 of 24 runners. That was not great. However, the favourite was drawn in 2 so perhaps we could tuck in behind and make our move late.

Not Favourite

The betting had us at 20/1 up to 33/1, but our ratings told a different story. The Racing Post Rating (RPR) had us at joint third best, and TopSpeed had us as joint first. I originally thought we would enter the Queen Mary, so that is what I registered our ownership as. Now that the switch was confirmed, I contacted Royal Ascot Owners & Trainers to switch us from the Queen Mary to the Windsor Castle. At most courses this would not matter, she was still entered in a race on the same day. Royal Ascot is different, as the parade ring passes are issued on a race by race basis. They assured me that if I had emailed they would certainly deal with it.

The day before our trip was quite a busy one. I had to go into Manchester to pick up my suit. Years ago I used to work in Manchester, and I got used to the sights and the sounds of the streets. Now, the buskers seem to delight in blasting out backing tracks, possibility to drown out their own mediocre voices. Perhaps the city should impose an “acoustic only” rule!

Its All About The Fashion

Back at home Sally, Fiona and Gabi discussed outfits and accessories with the weather turning almost tropical. It was also the first day of the Royal meeting, so we scoured the television to get a sense of the different enclosures and the styles being worn.

Everyone Has An Opinion

The pundits were optimistic about the chances of Star Of Lady M. They ranged from “Clearly wasn’t 100% at Chester and unbeaten aside from that, finding plenty for third win in the Hilary Needler at Beverley 18 days ago. Well worth a shot at this level.” to “Didn’t take to Chester in the Lily Agnes on her penultimate start but has won her other three outings, including a valuable conditions event at Beverley last time. Needs more but she looks a tough sort and cannot be dismissed easily”.

 

Chopper Squad

A telephone call from the helicopter company caused a bit of a panic. They said that they had not received landing permission for our trip to Ascot. Fortunately, they were only concerned about the Whaley Bridge Cricket Club end of the journey, which was easily resolved! I had also not heard back from Ascot Owners & Trainers with regard to my request to switch Star Of Lady M from the Queen Mary to the Windsor Castle, despite two emails and a number of fruitless phone calls. That would have to be a job for the following morning.

Twitter was very kind to us, with lots more follows and good wishes. For now we were the pride of Yorkshire, ironic given my cricketing and footballing allegiance to Old Trafford.

Lucky Number 22

We were to carry number 22 in the race. I was clutching at straws when I discovered that the number 22 represents your angel’s way of telling you that you’re on the right track and that your dreams are about to become a reality. You will have probably gathered that I was doing just about anything to pass the time!

Bradsell won the first two year old race at Royal Ascot, a 12,000 guineas purchase as a yearling. He was drawn in stall 2, although he did track over to the other side of the course. However, it did give me renewed confidence. He proved that a horse could win from anywhere if it was good enough and got the run of the race.

The Big Day Arrives

On the morning of the our race I decided to embrace the luck of the Irish. A small glass of Irish whiskey was the order of the day and it seemed to work. I finally got through to Ascot to confirm that race switch. Shortly afterwards the helicopter pilot rang me to say they were all on time and expected to land at 9.30am. I said we were booked for 9.40am but that did not seem to bother him, it all seemed very relaxed.

I also received a picture message from David O’Meara showing Star Of Lady M in her Ascot stable. She had her head over the door looking to see what was going on. She was seemingly unconcerned about the drama that was about to unfold.

It was already hot. As we stood for photographs I could feel the heat through my double breasted waistcoat, and beneath my top hat.

We took the short but bumpy ride up to Whaley Bridge Cricket Club. As we pulled into the gate the unmistakeable sound of helicopter rotors could be heard overhead. The first one came into view, and then the other. They landed on the immaculately mowed outfield, and then we waited for the rotors to completely stop. The smaller of the two was almost entirely black, whilst the larger machine had emerald green livery on its black exterior. Its registration, starting ONTV, indicated it was one of the helicopters that had been used on Anneka Rice’s Treasure Hunt.

Those Magnificent Men…

We split into two groups. Sally accompanied the boys in the smaller helicopter, based very roughly on weight. Myself, Fiona and Gabi went into the larger beast. There were more photos and videos, and even at that early stage the girls were concerned about their phone batteries. There was a brief safety demonstration, and we were away. Our pilot took the lead, given that he was easily the more experienced of the two. Within minutes we had cleared the two reservoirs of Fernilee and Errwood. He was ultra professional, and I thought it best not to tell him that when we returned there would actually be a cricket match in progress on the cricket pitch!

Our average flying altitude was around 1200 feet, and so everything on the ground was crystal clear. However, with nothing else to do I found myself looking down for far too much of the journey. This resulted in quite a stiff neck! We crossed over Alton Towers, and then headed for the M40. Bicester, Oxford and Henley-On-Thames could all be clearly seen from the air. Our pilot gave us the lowdown on things that he had to avoid, such as microlight aircraft, gliders and parachutists.

Picture Perfect

After around 75 minutes Ascot came into view, and we flew over the home straight. This proved to be another great photo opportunity. We swung around and landed in a large field, and we were then accompanied to the reception area by the ground staff. Our pilots would park up and be taken to the golf course to be fed and watered for the day. They would be rested and refreshed for our return journey later.

Flowing Fizz

The reception area was a rather grand marquee. There was a check in desk at one end where they issued us with the details for our return flight. At the other end there was a bar. The complimentary champagne flowed rather freely, whilst I opted for a grapefruit juice followed by a bottle of Peroni. Zac took the opportunity to open his study book as he had an A Level exam the following day. I think that that was the last time his book saw the light of day.

     

Pastries were offered, and there was a supply of Royal Ascot racecards. I picked one up, it was different to any other racecard, with a decidedly antique feel inferring its quality and value. It was a proud moment to see Star Of Lady M listed in the sixth race. I was anxious to get to the course, collect our badges and go inside so that we could relax, but the girls wanted more of the complimentary champagne.

Road To Nowhere

Eventually we boarded a Mercedes people carrier and set off to cover the short distance to the course. The driver followed the signs to Car Park 8, but I knew that our badges were at Car Park 2. The roads were already getting busy with raceday traffic. I was thankful that we were not paying the standard £45 to park our car in a field. We reached Car Park 8 and the driver described the pick up situation. There would be cars about marked with the heliport. We would just have to locate one and then all would be taken care of. I was not convinced, and then I insisted that he took us to Car Park 2.

We soon discovered that Car Park 2 was on the other side of the course. Walking to there in that heat would have been a disaster. As it turned out it might have been quicker, as we got stuck in traffic on Ascot high street. My nerves were starting to shred, with still around five hours until race time. We then discovered at least part of the cause for the delay. The Royal family were heading in the opposite direction, in preparation for the Royal procession.

Royal Rumble

So, we waited, inched forward, stopped, and waited some more. Around 45 minutes later we passed the entrance to Car Park 2. The instructions said that the Owners & Trainers facility was at the west end of Car Park 2, but the signs simply stated L and R. We gambled, and it paid off, as we walked in right by the aforementioned facility. Five minutes later we had our individually named Owners badges, as well as parade ring passes for race 6.

The entrance was on the other side of a busy road that we were herded across by an efficient steward. We underwent a thorough bag check before stepping across the threshold onto the hallowed grounds of Royal Ascot.

Show Me A Sign

The signs inside were about as good as those outside. We wandered aimlessly for a while, taking in the grandeur of the grandstand, the bustling throngs, and the decorated Queen Anne enclosure. The Royal enclosure had its own rules, and these extended until after the Royal procession, which seemed rather odd. I found an information desk to ask for directions to the Owners bar. A surprised lady said that she did not think that there was one. She then unfolded a map from the centre of one of the racecards, and she pointed us to the Bustino and Grundy lawn area that we had just walked past.

Pimms O’Clock

It was now approaching 1pm so we settled ourselves at an Owners bar. A jug of Pimms and more Peroni disappeared rather quickly. The temperature must have been approaching 30 degrees out on the manicured lawns where every table had already been reserved. I would not normally eat before Star Of Lady M has raced due to frayed nerves. In this case, with still four and a half hours to go, we all agreed that we should dine as soon as possible.

Fiona went in search of a restaurant, and she came back a short time later having achieved her goal. We followed her lead. She meandered through corridors and another bar before finally arriving at a crowded restaurant. We were seated at the far end, and quite coincidentally our table was number 22. This was the same number as Star Of Lady M in the Windsor Castle. It was an omen! I laughingly suggested that we would finish 22^nd, but that was quickly dismissed.

The buffet style lunch was excellent. After several cold meats with rice, pasta and various other side dishes, I attacked the chocolate pudding, strawberries and clotted cream with gusto. Two glasses of wine washed it all down, and then we once again braved the heat outside.

A Popular Distraction

We took up our position in the Owners viewing area to watch the Royal procession. The Prince Of Wales and the Duchess Of Cornwall, otherwise known as Charles and Camilla, took the lead as the carriages made their way down the course. This kind of spectacle is what makes Royal Ascot so special to so many people. To be honest I just wanted to get on with the racing.

We met Luke Lillingston and his wife Tabitha. They were as excited as we were at the prospect of Star Of Lady M running at Royal Ascot. We went our separate ways, aiming to meet up in time for our race, and then we settled in for the racing. Temperatures continued to soar, and I opted for water to stave off dehydration.

     

They’re Off

The first race was the Queen Mary, and of course on a different day that might have been our race. As it turned out our regular jockey Danny Tudhope rode the winner, and I had backed him. Zac had bet £10 each way rather than £5 by mistake, and so his betting reserves were already seriously depleted. Gabi had never been to a race meeting before, and she quickly burnt through her funds as well. I backed the third winner at good odds, and then we decided to try to find somewhere out of the stifling heat.

   

The Big Heat

The bar was now full, making it even hotter than before. Eventually we settled for a table with two chairs at one end of the lawn. This was just away from the pre parade ring. A waitress took our order, and I opted for a vodka as well as my usual water, just to calm my nerves. A combination of heat and nerves is not good, and I was starting to suffer. It was around 4.45pm, and the Royal Hunt Cup was just 15 minutes away.

I went for a walk, and noticed some of the horses for the Windsor Castle coming into the pre parade ring. My nerves ratcheted up to another level, and I went to sit back down. My hat was off, my jacket was off, and now I unbuttoned my waistcoat. This felt like being released from a straitjacket, but as time ticked on I was honestly not sure whether I would be able to make the race, and particularly the preliminaries.

Race Time

My phone buzzed. It was Luke beckoning us to the pre parade. I galvanised myself and, accompanied by concerned and excited family, we went to meet him. Star Of Lady M was nowhere to be seen, they were clearly keeping her out of the heat. I met Jason Kelly and Char-Lee Heard, and they were busy but relaxed. We found Luke and Tabitha, and we also met John O’Kelly who was the auctioneer when we bought Star Of Lady M. I suggested that he might have brought the hammer down just a little quicker, and that raised a smile. I was over the effects of the heat, but my nerves were dreadful.

Star Of Lady M finally emerged from her stable and went straight to the parade ring. She looked magnificent, and her appearance was made even more special by the Royal Ascot saddle cloth with gold numbers and lettering.

The Lady Is Not To Be Rushed

As we made our way there, other runners were already heading out onto the course. We were very late, but I think this was a deliberate ploy to keep her away from the hullabaloo for as long as possible. The pre parade ring had been busy, but the parade ring was far worse. It was impossible to see anyone. Luke spotted our trainer David O’Meara, and we followed Jason through a small gap where David was giving last minute instructions to our jockey Colin Keane.

Sally appeared a short time later, just in time to see David give Colin a leg up. They both looked relaxed, and we made our way to the packed grandstand with reserved optimism. Gabi grabbed me another water along the way, and as we peered towards the start. Star Of Lady M walked calmly into stall 1, the first horse to be loaded. My stomach was churning as I waited for the other 23 to go in!

Under Starters Orders

After what seemed like an eternity they were off. Star Of Lady M got out better than she had in any of her previous four starts, then Little Big Bear was driven to pass her. It was going well until the field tacked across to the centre. Colin Keane tried to straighten her but she fought against him. She changed her legs and then seemed to get bumped. It was clear that she was not going to win, so Colin eased her through the second half of the race with hands and heels. There was no reason to give her a hard race, particularly in the burning heat, and she trailed in towards the back. Little Big Bear won the race, and Star Of Lady M was, well we might have guessed, 22^nd!

Relief!

My nerves had disappeared completely and a swathe of relief washed over me as we realised that her race was run. We rushed down to the unsaddling area, where Colin had already dismounted. I wondered if she had sustained an injury, maybe sore shins, but Colin was fine with her. He said that she is uncomplicated with good speed, but the ground was plenty fast enough for her. David confirmed that there was nothing wrong with her, and we stood debating the outcome for quite some time. We all agreed that with a middle draw it could have been different, but that’s racing. It was not our day, but everyone was convinced that she would bounce back.

Thinking Ahead

Our next target would be a Listed race to try to get black type, which would increase her value as a broodmare. The options were either the Dragon Stakes at Sandown, or the Yacowlef at Deauville in France which was a more likely destination. David had to go off to saddle a runner in the last race and he said that he would be in touch in the next few days. Tabitha introduced us to her mum, and Sally immediately spotted that her name badge read “Lady Ross”, although she preferred Susie. The conversation inevitably turned to horses, and in particular an occasion earlier in the year.

Sally had picked up Luke and Tabitha’s daughter Lara from Bakewell after her Duke Of Edinburgh event, and she reported back that as soon as she saw that Sally’s car was full of bridles, saddles and other tack she knew that she was alright, and Susie concurred! Susie owned a piece of Mehmar who had finished a few places in front of us in the Windsor Castle. It was probably the most relaxed twenty minutes of the whole day, but we had to move on so we said our goodbyes.

And Now The End Is Near

We somehow ended up in the Royal enclosure for the final race of the day, but I was certainly not bothered about having another bet. Once the racing was done I had made a profit, while Gabi and Zac had not had a single winner. The most memorable result came when Ole’s horse beat Sally’s in a photo finish. Fiona continued her obsession with Danny Tudhope by backing his winner in the first. However, it was the majesty of Royal Ascot that left the biggest impression.

We were fortunate to find a steward who pointed us in exactly the right direction for the helicopter. We had to walk down the course, around a marquee, and then across the track. Our original driver just happened to be waiting for us on the other side. Less than ten minutes later we were back at the helicopter reception with the girls making the most of the champagne that was still on offer. I had more water and grapefruit juice, and just before 7pm our pilots were ready to take us back to Whaley Bridge.

Helicopter Stops Play

Our route replicated the outward journey, including another birds eye view of Alton Towers. As we approached our destination I messaged the club to ensure that the pitch was clear for our arrival. It took us around 75 minutes again, and as we touched down the assembled crowd took photos and videos from their elevated positions along the banking. I decided we should look our best, so I donned my top hat and tails again and stepped out to a round of applause!

Some friends had arranged a champagne reception for our arrival, but I settled for an ice cold Vimto. We returned home, and as is tradition I headed for the Drum & Monkey. I was exhausted, but felt that I had to make the trip, and I was joined by Fiona, as well as her son Jake and his fiancée Aimee. One pint later we headed back home where Gabi, Sally and the boys were tucking in to a takeaway. I had a few chips but could not face any more.

Memories Are Made Of This

It had been a marvellous day, and the helicopters certainly surprised the village. Even in 2022, when someone hears those thudding rotors they always look up, point and shout “Helicopter”. I am not sure I would like to travel much further in a helicopter, 75 minutes was just about my limit. The blistering heat is also something that I need to manage better, as are my nerves. One thing is for certain though, for the six of us that made the trip, our day at Royal Ascot is one that we will never forget.

The Morning After

After a good night’s sleep I watched the race back, and everything that we had discussed afterwards was reiterated. She had not had a hard race, but the journey and the heat would have taken plenty out of her. Perhaps she would be ready in time for the Dragon at Sandown which was just fifteen days away, or perhaps it would be better to wait for Deauville on 10^th July regardless. In my mind I had decided on Deauville, which also meant that the next countdown could begin. We were twenty four days away from her next race.

We had an anxious wait until the message came through from Gina that Star Of Lady M had returned safe and sound, and none the worse for her experience. I spoke to Richard Kent and he was fully in support of heading for a Listed event in France. He had a filly that had unfortunately finished fourth when he tried it the previous year.

Star Of Lady M’s Fan Club

On social media I thanked everyone for their help and support, and I was touched by the responses that were unanimous. Everyone was so pleased that Star Of Lady M had made it to Royal Ascot, even though most of them had lost money on her on this particular occasion. They wanted to know that she was safe and well, and they looked forward to her next outing.

I made special mention of David O’Meara and his team who managed the whole process of travel and pre and post race activities so well, and also to Colin Keane who gave her the best possible race in the circumstances. I would certainly love to have him on board again whenever Danny Tudhope is unavailable. Finally, without Luke and Tabitha we would not have had the same experience. Tabitha was such a calming voice amid the chaos, whilst Luke pushed on and cleared any obstacles in our way. As ever his post race assessment was spot on, and I looked forward to my next conversation with him.

Ooh La La

I decided to check my Weatherbys bank account to see what our day at Ascot had cost from a racing perspective, and I made some interesting discoveries. Our jockey, Colin Keane, did not have VAT attached to his fee, and our share of the sponsorship, for having a saddle cloth embellished with both Royal Ascot and Longines insignia, was just £20.24. We did not even get any appearance money as we had at Chester.

However, much more interesting than this were the additional payments. There was a £10 debit for the Foreign Racing Handling Charge, and there was a debit of £18.59 for Star Of Lady M to be registered with France-Galop, the administrators of racing in France. These had actually been processed a month or so earlier. It must have taken that amount of time to complete the process, but it was certainly auspicious less than twenty four hours after the Ascot race.

Where Exactly Is Deauville?

So, we were definitely off to France, or so it seemed. The next few hours were spent researching trains, planes and automobiles to get to Deauville for a Sunday afternoon meeting. Flying to Paris would be the obvious one, but with the chaos at most airports at the moment this would be so stressful. It is also probably three and a half hours from Paris airport to Deauville, making the door to door time somewhere close to ten hours. Driving would be quicker, but then there are rules about your car and adaptations that would need to be made. In addition, although the journey time could be under nine hours, it could also end up being closer to twenty hours given the UK roads.

A ferry from Portsmouth would take us close to Deauville, but the crossing could take eight hours or so, and then there was Eurostar. My sister is a seasoned traveller, and she said that she would not consider any other way. Business class to Paris Gare Du Nord is the way to go, and that would include free food and drink as well as lounge access at both ends.

French Connection

That more or less settled it, travelling Saturday morning and returning Sunday evening. Unfortunately, Sally is unavailable that weekend, so I asked my nephew Jake, and Neil Woolley, both of whom own a share in Emerald Duchess. Neil was a definite almost immediately, and Jake would be except for one small problem, he did not have a passport. He applied for a new one two weeks ago, but the wait time at the moment can be up to ten weeks. Fortunately this arrived a few days later, and we were all keen to know whether we would be off on a trip to Normandy.

Our nearest major train station is Macclesfield, and on Sunday evenings the last train back from London Euston to there is 9.30. That would be a close shave to connect from the Eurostar, so I looked at Derby which is about an hour away. That is a much better connection, with the added advantage that the train from Derby goes directly into St Pancras where the Eurostar departs from. So that was decided. We would go from Derby to St Pancras, then Eurostar to Paris, followed by an onward train to Deauville. With twenty three days left until the race it was all sorted!

Emerald Emerges

Meanwhile, we went to watch Emerald Duchess at Thirsk. Thirsk is another very friendly and hospitable Yorkshire course, and we had a lovely day up there.

We were a little puzzled at Emerald Duchess’s performance, though to be fair our trainer Tim Easterby explained that the main goal of the race was to get our handicap mark. Maybe some of the bookies knew this!

It was a gentle race for our filly who is still learning the game, even when she came to challenge. She came in 10th but not beaten very far at all. It is also clear that Tim is very sweet on her, and he mischievously suggested that Star Of Lady M might not be the best racehorse that we own. Our jockey, apprentice Sean Kirrane, said she was still quite green, and there are still some things to work on, but now that she has qualified for an official rating we should see her dramatically improve.

   

It also looks like she will be tried over seven furlongs, which means that it is unlikely that she and Star Of Lady M will ever meet on a racecourse.

Fathers Day Down Memory Lane

Fathers Day saw lunch at the Church at Chelmorton which is always good quality. Zac won’t have a roast dinner, but he will have sausages with all the trimmings, and I called in advance to ensure this was an option. Of course, Zac is now grown up so we let him order all by himself, but on this occasion he was totally flummoxed with no idea what to ask for. It got painful to listen to, so I intervened and all was well! We were glad that we opted for the Church, as over the hill in Kettleshulme the Swan ran out of Yorkshire Puddings. I am not quite sure how that happens, as they are clearly not difficult to make, but so be it. At the Church we had two each!

Fathers Day can be a bit of a damp squib. I don’t expect gifts or anything really, lunch was quite enough. The boys bought me a bottle of Proper 12 Irish whiskey which I will savour over the next few weeks. Gabi was little more creative. Or rather, she expects me to be a little more creative. She remembers her childhood when a rather expensive toy version of Thunderbirds’ Tracey Island went on sale. Blue Peter thought that it would be a good idea for people to make their own, so they created a full set of plans. Imagine my surprise when I opened the package and found, those very same plans. Apparently Nixie is really looking forward to making it with me. I think I may have to resort to the Blue Peter tactic of “Here’s one I prepared earlier!”

Travellin’ Man

Meanwhile, Zac has now finished his exams and has decided to go off travelling. Obviously his mum is fretting about this already, particularly when he said that his first destination would be Thailand. From there, apparently, it is easy to get to Balti, which I always thought was a curry. It is! He meant that it was easy to get to Bali, and our confidence in his ability to navigate the globe took another step backward! Ole is far more sensible, opting for a trip to Alicante with his girlfriend. Originally he asked me to book it, then he plucked up the courage to book it himself. He just wanted me to pay for it, though to be fair he has since reimbursed me.

Zac has been applying for various roles to fund his potential travelling, including one with Aldi. He got through the first two stages, and the third was an automated video interview. In this, he would be given a question, then he would have 30 seconds to prepare before the robot started to record his answer. He wondered where he should be for the recording, and Sally suggested that it should not be in his room, as he would not want Aldi knowing how messy he is. He agreed!

Not Quite Dead

Its prime hunting season for cats, and Bo is no exception. She has deposited three dead birds and several mice in places where they are quite difficult to find, as well as presenting others as gifts. On one occasion she dropped a mouse in front of Sally, who said, “well at least it is dead.” Bo stuck out a playful paw, and the supposedly dead mouse shot under the settee hotly pursued by Bo. Sally was not amused.

When Is A 3 Not A 3?

Finally, Ole has been having trouble with our oven. He was grilling bacon and he was cursing as it did not seem to be cooking very well. I asked him which setting he had it on. “3,” he replied, and I asked him, “which 3?”. This baffled him so I explained that if you turn the dial to the left the whole grill comes on, but if you turn it to the right only half of the grill comes on. Its more economic that way. He struggled to see why you would have the same number setting for two completely different things, and he went further. “The fridge doesn’t work that way. I don’t put something in the fridge and find out that it is not cold because only half of the fridge is cooling stuff.” I guess he has a point.

Previous Edition

You can read the previous edition here

Covid For Christmas

 

June 11, 2022 by Mike Madden

A Star Is Bo

The Catwalk

I know a lot of you will be reading this hoping for racing updates, and they will come! However, first I have to mention the new social media star in our family. Regular readers will recall the picture of Bo next to a giant bag of cat food from the previous edition. Well, Amazon liked it so much that they started asking questions about her on Twitter. She seemed like such a fun loving cat. I told them that she loved drumstick lollies, or any hard lollies that had a white stick. Maybe she thinks that is a tail? So, after this

brief exchange they said they would send her some treats. A few days later she received a whole bag of drumsticks, plus several catnip toys. There was a box of shiny balls, and a variety box of Dreamies. Ironically the original order was not even from Amazon, but we certainly thanked them for their interest.

Her favourite was probably the box!

The Return Of The Duchess

Emerald Duchess hit the racetrack again at Haydock, and we had an almost full complement of The 1891 Group there to see her. She was not well fancied after her Nottingham debut.

We pulled in to the Owners & Trainers car park at Haydock, and found our way to the Owners reception. We proceeded to the Owners bar and we were told that the whole of the Owners area was under refurbishment. I did consider that for a supposedly prestigious course that had gone through Covid and a sparse winter jumping season, perhaps they could have refurbished in plenty of time for the flat. Regardless, we had some very decent draught Guinness and Pravha. We then watched Fittleton Ferry finish a disappointing 12th of 13 at Bath. Her RPR of 10 was about as low as I have ever seen, down from 53 in her previous race. Afterwards, Nikki Evans said that it could have been the ground, or she could perhaps have been in season.

Lady M Puts Her Foot Down

The bar area at Haydock had a huge entrance that was wide open and the place was cold. So, we moved next door to the dining area. There was a dining room, and an ante room that contained several high tables close to the bar. These did not look like they were for diners, so we sat there. The dining room organiser said that our tables might be needed if the dining room filled up. We said that if that happened we would relinquish them, and ordered drinks from a waiter. Lady M was certainly not for moving.

It was a somewhat frosty reception, and the waiter made it worse. He said that he could not serve us draught beer which was only available at the official Owners bar. The official Owners bar was some twenty feet away. I guess that Haydock could learn a thing or two about customer service.

Charles Ledigo said “Hello”, his Glorious Angel had shortened as favourite for Emerald Duchess’s race. I then received an odd email. It said that Emerald Duchess had been entered into a race at Ripon the following Thursday. The entries for the race included Carmela, Breege and Lady Bullet. These were all operating at well above the standard set so far by Emerald Duchess. By chance, Will Easterby walked in at about the same time, so I asked him about the entry. He had no idea, so we dismissed it and prepared for that afternoon’s race.

Looking Good

Emerald Duchess looked very well in the paddock, as did Lady M resplendent in matching colours. Our jockey for the day was again Duran Fentiman. Both Will and Duran were managing our expectations, looking for a clear progression. We hoped that she would pass a few more runners with a late surge. As it turned out quite the opposite happened. We made our way to the viewing area, where the winning line was at a surprising angle. By the end of the race this did not really bother us.

The Duchess Dwells

She missed the break, though not as badly as at Nottingham. This was followed by an effortless burst to move into a challenging position. By half way she was amongst the leaders, but she then faded quite dramatically. When we spoke to Duran afterwards he said that this might be due to missing some work with sore shins, but also that the ground was on the firm side again and she was fighting against it. However, he was impressed with her early speed that saw her overcome a slow break, even suggesting that she might revert back to five furlongs.

She finished eighth of the ten runners, well in touch with the few in front of her, and it was not too much of a disappointment. Her RPR of 47 was an improvement from her previous mark of 41, though her TopSpeed went down from 39 to 37. However, I have yet to find anyone who understands what TopSpeed is or takes much notice of it. Charles Ledigo was a little subdued after Glorious Angel could only finish fourth.

     

There’s Always The Bar

Will bought us drinks in the bar, and we had a good chat about Maryland, where he had ridden in the Maryland Hunt Cup, and other parts of the US, as well as cricket. Emerald Duchess got a mention, but we all knew she needed a bit more time. She had already run twice before the end of May, which is way beyond expectations, especially when you consider that her sire Massaat did not run until July in his two year old year, and he only ran three times in that season overall.

The ground was clearly against her once more, and it was no surprise to find that the following day she again had a sore shin, but she was well in herself.

This Is The End – Or Is It?

The day after Haydock I was called up at the last minute to play cricket for the firsts at Stalybridge. Injuries have certainly got the better of me recently, but the firsts are going well, so I was hopeful of having minimal involvement. How wrong I was! After the game I took the decision to officially retire, and I sent a message to the club.

Man Of Letters

This message is probably long overdue, but after yesterday I have decided that enough is enough and I am retiring from cricket.

I took to the field with a seriously damaged knee, and after running three twos in the first over my glute, hamstring and calf were coming out in sympathy. However, all leg pains were quickly forgotten whilst fielding as I dived (some might say fell) on the ball and seriously bruised a couple of ribs. Struggling to breathe I eventually got to my feet praying that the ball came nowhere near me for the rest of the innings.

On the way back to the Sheps I had to pull over due to violent leg cramps, and I already knew that the end had arrived.

I can look back on a career that saw me rack up 3 centuries, including 162 not out against Offerton which remains the highest individual score recorded for Whaley Bridge seconds. I only scored 1 first team 50, and there should have been more, particularly in more recent years when opening the batting with Luke Dogg and Dr Dec. As second team captain I played with more juniors than Prince Andrew, and for those that were at High Lane there will always be “The Catch”.

https://whaleybridgecc.co.uk/archives/328

Its been a blast, and all I can say is Dougie, make sure you have a good scorer when you turn out for the seconds today!

Every Cloud…

As days went by the pain was strong in both my side and stomach, which was a concern. The dangers of Google came to the fore as it suggested I may have “popped a rib out”, so I called 111 and they were absolutely useless. It seemed that their sole aim was to cover their own arses. So, I went to the GP who gave me a rather odd diagnosis. She thought that Ibuprofen might be upsetting my stomach so she gave me some antacid, despite my request for stronger painkillers. I went to the chemist to collect the prescription, and to my surprise I found out that as I was now 60 my prescriptions are free. This may lead to me getting something new every week!

I took two of the antacids, stopped taking Ibuprofen, but still the pain continued. Some cricketing friends consoled me by telling of their own experiences with a similar injury. Turns out it could take four to five weeks to heal.

The Star Shines Again

Star Of Lady M was entered into the Hilary Needler at Beverley, and at the entries stage it looked to be a very hot race. By the time of the declarations some of the potential favourites had dropped out, but there were still five previous winners in the line-up, including ourselves.

David O’Meara also ran the debutant Your Spirit, but we had secured the services of Danny Tudhope. Sporting Life initially priced us up at 8/1, but I doubted whether that price would hold with the actual bookmakers.

The day before the race there appeared to be money for Richard Hannon’s Distinguished Lady. Although still a maiden she was challenging Absolutelyflawless, who had beaten us at Chester, for favouritism. The same analyst who wrote “judged on breeding others are more appealing” about Star Of Lady M before her debut at Redcar, now suggested “disappointing when taken on for the lead in the Lily Agnes 24 days ago”. She was clearly not fancied, but there were some crumbs of comfort on Twitter. Avid two year old student Mike Curtiz wrote “Happy to put a line through Star Of Lady M run at Chester, I think she’s the best in here and she can reverse the 4 1/2 lengths (from the Lily Agnes).

If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…

The most disappointing comment I heard came in a podcast. Trainer Darryll Holland, whose Primrose Ridge had finished second to Star Of Lady M back at Redcar, said that the Redcar defeat was purely down to the ground, and Star Of Lady M would never beat his filly again. I thought that it was a little disrespectful towards our girl, but I guess he was being interviewed and had to think of something to say.

Distinguished Lady was clear favourite overnight, whilst we were around 8/1. As the morning progressed Absolutelyflawless came back in to head the market, and we shortened to 7/1. Our two sons, Ole and Zachary, got into a panic trying to find shirts, shoes and ties that were only purchased in February. As well as Ole and Zachary, we also had Ole’s girlfriend Abbie as the fifth member of our party. We drove to Beverley, taking the scenic route to Sheffield before hitting three motorways. It was uneventful until someone decided that the M62 would be better as a single lane rather than three, and that delayed us for around half an hour.

A Very British Beverley

We parked up next to Mick Fitzgerald who was busy studying form, and then we went to the Owners & Trainers reception to collect our badges. We were greeted with a glass of champagne, and our badges were adorned with a union jack in honour of the Very British Racing Day. This was coincidentally appropriate as I wore my red, white and blue striped blazer! The Owners and Trainers section was quite spacious, with a nice terrace outside that was unfortunately too cold to sit at.

Zac, Ole and Abbie casting a knowledgeable eye over the first race runners

The boys had been to Galway races previously, but that was seated at a table overlooking the winning line and betting exclusively on the Tote. They had also been to Southwell many years before, but they could not even remember that. I showed them around the betting ring, the parade ring and the viewing area, and they decided to use the Tote for convenience. After a brief pause whilst they retrieved their IDs to prove their ages, they had a bet in the first and we went into the stands. Zac backed the first winner at 6/1 and had the second each way at 80/1, whilst Ole backed the second each way. So they were both off to a good start, but now it was time for Star Of Lady M.

It is always good to see some familiar faces at the racetrack, and we were pleased to bump in to Will Easterby who wished us good luck.

Be Prepared

In no time at all our filly was in the pre parade ring. She was a little on her toes, but nowhere near as bad as at Chester. She made her way to the parade ring, and I followed her in along with Sally. I beckoned to the other three and Ole joined us, but Zac and Abbie seemed a little intimidated by the prospect of crossing the path that the horses were walking around on.

David O’Meara was in attendance along with Char-lee Heard, and they were very relaxed. David introduced us to the owners of his second horse in the race, and then Danny came out resplendent in the emerald green silks with the bold black stars. I asked him about tactics but he was not giving anything away. “We’ll just see how the race pans out” was about as detailed as he got, and in my mind I wondered whether this was confidence or nerves.

Star now had a groom on her inside as well as her outside, and this calmed her down significantly. Danny mounted, and they were off to the start. We went into the grandstand where we could see the big screen opposite as well as having a great view down the course. The nerves really began to churn. My throat was dry as I considered what a good result would be after the disaster of Chester. First six would guarantee a prize. Second or third would mean a conversation about Royal Ascot. A win would be out of this world, and would include a third GBB bonus.

The Hilary Needler

She went into stall four very calmly, despite the newcomer Your Spirit playing up at the post. Eventually they were all in, and they were off. She dived left at the start, but showed good pace to fall in just behind Mark Johnston’s Fragrance. Primrose Ridge came from the outside at a blistering pace and soon took the lead. We passed Fragrance and tracked the leader, and after a couple of furlongs it was clear that she was a very different filly to the one at Chester.

With two and a half to go Primrose Ridge was going further clear, but we were holding second. The rest of the field were struggling as we passed the two furlong pole, and the thought of finishing second, that had seemed so appealing before the race, was now possibly a disappointment.

A furlong and a half out we were probably two lengths down, but Jack Mitchell on board the leader had gone for his whip. Passing the furlong pole there was still clear daylight between the two, but Danny then urged our girl for an effort. She responded, cutting into the lead, but she was still a length down with half a furlong left to race. He drove her harder, and she picked up. She was gaining. Would the post come too soon?

Flying Finish

She was flying, and in the split second it took me to switch my eyes from the screen to the live action she had gained half a length. Beverley is a stiff uphill track, and the finish can be gruelling after a hard race, but Star was loving it. Her ears were pricked as the commentator called “Primrose Ridge being mowed down by Star Of Lady M”. She put her head in front, then effortlessly eased to victory by three quarters of a length, the same distance that we beat the same rival at Redcar.

The last 100 yards was all heart, and the deficit from ¾ down to ¾ up was in the blink of an eye. She won going away from Primrose Ridge, with the rest a few lengths back. Sally’s hat went up into the air, the boys and Abbie were buzzing, and then they announced that they had all backed her. I rushed to the parade ring where Danny was about to be interviewed. “Put a line through Chester and she’s unbeaten,” he said, and followed this up with, “she deserves her chance at Royal Ascot.” David suggested, “the owners might want to go to Royal Ascot,” and he was also quick to dismiss the Chester race. Mick Fitzgerald had a quick word with us and then it was time for the presentation.

A Trophy – And A Demand

We received our trophy from a relative of the original Hilary Needler, and we were then asked several questions about what went wrong at Chester and whether we would go to Royal Ascot. Sally said that if we were going there she would need a helicopter!

David received a trainer’s trophy, and then Danny received a bag as the winning jockey. Beverley are quite rightly proud of their race, the Hilary Needler is synonymous with the course. It is a Class 2 race, but it used to be Listed, and I am sure that they would love to see the Listed status restored.

There’s Only One Destination

We were led away to a presentation room, where a large television was already showing reruns of the race. There were so many people in there that I thought they must be connections of all of the other horses! We spoke to the Chairman of the course and various other dignitaries, and they were all urging us to head not just for Royal Ascot but for the Group 2 Queen Mary. They were genuinely wishing us well, but there was also the slightly hidden agenda that if our horse did well at Royal Ascot it would go some way to proving that the Hilary Needler once again deserves to be Listed. Very shortly afterwards, Beverley Racecourse followed me on Twitter!

Lady M gives her namesake warm congratulations

Good News Travels Fast

I had to be careful with the champagne due to having a long drive home, so we said our thanks and headed back to the Owners & Trainers area. As ever, my phone had exploded with messages. I got through them, and then the phone calls began. First up it was Luke, and he was thrilled with her performance. He did throw a bit of a curved ball at us by suggesting that rather than heading for Royal Ascot we could go to France and pick up a Listed race with very decent prize money, as these tended to be weaker than over here.

There was also a message from Whitsbury Manor suggesting that the Empress stakes at Newmarket would be a good option, but that was six furlongs and David had confirmed that for now she would stick to five. They also advised against Royal Ascot as it can ruin a horse, and we did not want another Chester on our hands!

Talk Of The Town

Back down to earth we realised that the debate about whether she would be rated 75 or 95 had been settled in our favour. We had also won the £20,000 prize as well as the £20,000 GBB bonus. Congratulations came from all angles, with many of the locals keen to share their memories of the Hilary Needler. It really was a proud moment to now be a part of that history. I chatted to people too numerous to mention, and I think that our appeal was that we were not one of the big players, we were just ordinary people enjoying the thrill of owning our first racehorse.

The Gamblers

The boys were almost in shock. Ole, like me, thought that with a furlong to go she was not going to win, and that burst of acceleration was really something. They got back to betting, but several races went by without me taking much notice of them.

The general consensus was that we had to go to Royal Ascot, We might never get the chance again, but that decision would have to wait. Will Easterby passed on his congratulations, and then we returned to our table where Sally had a full bottle of champagne waiting for her.

When Everyone Wants To Know Your Name

We had had another thrilling day, perhaps the best yet, and we headed for home. The journey back was mercifully quick, and we walked down to the Drum & Monkey for our traditional post race celebration. We went to Whaley Bridge Bowling Club which was in the midst of the Champions League final, but well wishers came from everywhere. Most of them had backed her again, some had won more than others, and some were just happy for us. If our local bookie was still around he would definitely have gone bust after our win.

I returned home around 1am and of course turned the television on, retrieved the USB, and watched the race several more times. I then watched the ITV coverage that I had recorded, where Jason Weaver was the only one who gave Star Of Lady M a chance, before finally falling into bed.

Follow The Leader

The next day I concentrated on all of the Twitter messages, including an interesting follow from Jamie Osborne who we had outbid at Tattersalls for our filly. I wondered if he was regretting missing out on the purchase, or whether he had forgotten all about it and was just genuinely interested.

I had a call with Richard Kent who urged me to take our filly to Royal Ascot. He asked me if I had any intention of selling her at the London sale, and as I had never heard of the London sale, and I had no intention of selling her, I said “No!” He also suggested that a reasonable figure for insurance purposes would be around £150,000, so that was added to my “To Do” list.

Jason messaged me to tell me that Star Of Lady M had come out of the race absolutely fine, and we would have a call the following day to discuss options.

I passed the time by creating a new ringtone, so now when anyone calls I will hear “Primrose Ridge being Mowed down by Star Of Lady M. Star Of Lady M’s won the Hilary Needler.”

Rising Star

The TopSpeed rating of 66 from the Beverley race was a little disappointing, especially as she had reached 80 at Ripon. However, as I have said before no one really understands what that is, so I did not let it worry me. Her RPR improved to 88, up five points on Ripon, but still not quite at the levels of the favourites for the races at Ascot.

The following morning I had had the chance to mull over the past 48 hours, and what it actually meant. I was almost certain that whenever Star Of Lady M races she will carry the distinctive emerald green with black stars. Even when she reaches the broodmare stage we may decide to keep the foal, though that would be far less certain.

Waiting…

Jason let me know that we could agree race plans around 2pm, after he had sorted the weekend entries. That was then delayed until 3pm to give him a chance to analyse the options. In particular he wanted to check the results of Hilary Needler winners at the royal meeting. It seemed like a very long wait. It was actually around 3.20pm when we got to chat, and Jason explained our options very clearly and concisely.

The Norfolk Stakes would probably be a step too far in terms of quality. We also agreed that there was no sense in increasing her distance to six furlongs just yet. That left the Queen Mary and the Windsor Castle. The Queen Mary is a Group 2 race for fillies only. It also has the advantage of being the first race on the card.

The Windsor Castle is a Listed race open to colts and fillies, and takes place more than three hours later. Would my nerves be able to stand that wait? Wesley Ward, the famous American trainer, had what he considered the best horse he had ever sent to Royal Ascot entered in the Queen Mary. This could put off a lot of potential challengers. On the other hand, the very best fillies would go for the Queen Mary. Therefore we might have a better chance in the Windsor Castle.

What Will The Future Hold?

I almost had to pinch myself during the conversation. There were no other options, just the two races on the same day at Royal Ascot. So, we were definitely going! In the end we decided to enter both races and see how they panned out at the declarations stage. That was perhaps a little extravagant in terms of entry fees. However, we thought that she had earned the right to have the options. We were really using the Royal Ascot entry as an experience, as opposed to a genuine chance of winning. As long as Star Of Lady M was happy and came away none the worse for her experience, I was OK with that.

We also discussed what might happen afterwards, and it was black type all the way. The Dragon at Sandown was a possibility. There were races at Newmarket and Newbury before the Julia Graves Roses at York. We agreed that there would be time to discuss that in more detail afterwards.

Royal Ascot Here We Come

I then started to let everyone know, and the social media world erupted. After thanking Richard for his advice, I spoke to Luke who was as excited as anyone about the decision. I mentioned the Wesley Ward hotpot. Luke dismissed that with, “he claims to have one of those every year.” I invited him to join us at Ascot, but he had a prior lunch engagement with the Queen’s racing adviser. He assured me that he and Tabitha would join us in the parade ring. Incredible, unbelievable, staggering, the superlatives kept on coming. We were heading for Royal Ascot, and we might even be the cheapest horse there. We were both delighted for each other!

Let The Countdown Begin

The next few hours were spent researching the dress code for the Queen Anne enclosure. I also had to find quotes for helicopter prices. We could not simply turn up to Royal Ascot in a taxi.

I asked Russell Wild, the chairman of Whaley Bridge Cricket Club, if we could land on the cricket pitch. He not only agreed, he insisted, and stated that our return would involve a reception party.

Helicopter prices ranged from £3,000 to more than £13,000, and I am not entirely sure of the reasons behind the differences. I decided to leave it to the following day, and I went to bed with the countdown firmly in progress. There were sixteen days until our big day.

I decided that £100,000 would be sufficient for insurance. If she did well at Royal Ascot we would have to change it again anyway! Our insurance man, James Denley, had taken a keen interest in the career of Star Of Lady M, and he was happy to increase the coverage. I then contacted the yard to get a veterinary certificate.

Two Helicopters Or One? You Do The Maths

Meanwhile, the helicopter responses continued to vary wildly. Our best quote came in at just over £4,000, but there was a problem. The six seater helicopter had a maximum passenger capacity of 450 kilos. We weighed in at approximately 530 kilos. Now, I do not think that 530 kilos is excessive for six grown adults, at less than 90 kilos each, but the helicopter clearly did. The helicopter company asked if we could double check the weights. Although there might have been scope to lose a kilo here and there, to bring it down by 80 full kilos would take something as drastic as amputation. They did have a bigger six seater helicopter, but that came in at more than £12,000.

I figured that two smaller ones would be cheaper than one large one, so we came to a compromise. For £7,500 we could get two helicopters that would accommodate all six of us between them. There was myself and Sally, of course, as well as Ole, Zachary and Gabi. Finally, there was my sister Fiona, and we were all very excited.

Dressed To Impress

I went into Manchester to order some smart navy tails with a stone waistcoat. The girls thumbed through endless options for suitable attire. The boys decided that they would use their existing suits as they could not be bothered with the rigmarole of formal dress. Fortunately we were in the Queen Anne enclosure, where the dress code is not as strict as the Royal enclosure.

I received notification that Fittleton Ferry was due to race again, this time at Chepstow the following Saturday. Another five furlong Class 6 race, for which she was around 16/1. I made a mental note to watch out for that, but I had other things to think about. Simon Chappell messaged me as he had a gazebo within the Royal enclosure. He advised that the majority of men in the Owners & Trainers would be in top hat and tails. I decided that my tails would definitely need to be finished off with a topper.

We agreed that we should meet up, though I wondered if Royal Ascot was similar to other racecourses. Would we be able to venture into any enclosure up to the status of our ticket? That would mean that he would be able to come to the Queen Anne enclosure but we would not be able to enter the Royal enclosure.

The Race Is On

By Wednesday, with two weeks to go until the big day, several people were asking the question about which race we would be in. The BHA racing administration site was updated with entries into the Queen Mary and Windsor Castle. This was another confirmation that it was really happening. The bookmakers responded by adding Star Of Lady M to their lists. Most of them quoted her at 20/1 or 25/1 for the Queen Mary, with Paddy Power being the exception at 40/1. Wesley Ward’s Love Reigns was the hot favourite, as short as 9/4 in some places. The Windsor Castle was almost ignored, with only Unibet listing her at 20/1.

Massaat Off The Mark

The following day there was welcome news related to Emerald Duchess when her sire Massaat had his first winner. Mascapone, who had finished fourth in the Brocklesby, won at Chelmsford. The Brocklesby form was certainly working out well, and Star Of Lady M had already beaten three of the runners.

Have You Heard The News?

That weekend it was the Jubilee celebration, and Whaley Bridge Cricket Club hosted a major event for the village. As is tradition I spent most of my time in the bar, serving rather than drinking. In doing so I met a great many people. Everyone was interested in our horse, including some people that I had never met. The legend of Star Of Lady M was growing almost daily. The helicopter ride to and from Royal Ascot would only add to that legend, regardless of the result.

It was also the weekend of the Oaks and the Derby, and I managed to pick the wrong horse in both races. Fittleton Ferry finished a disappointing 7th at Chepstow. The explanation came that perhaps she needs further and a stronger ride from her jockey. It seemed that the trainer may be going down a previously trodden path. Perhaps the horse is simply not cut out to be a racehorse.

Driving To Deauville

For the first time in many weeks the next step for Star Of Lady M was clearly defined. It was also very unlikely to change. We still had to decide on which race she would run in, but we knew we were going to be at Royal Ascot on the Wednesday. There was little to speculate on, but I did put my mind to where she might go after Ascot. I was very familiar with the options in the UK. However, Luke and David were both thinking that France might be a better option to pick up some black type. She could achieve this with a top three finish at Ascot, but it is always good to have a back up plan.

Deauville seemed to be the most likely destination on 10th July, but it is not an easy place to get to. A flight to Paris seemed an obvious starting point. Unfortunately, with the turmoil at most airports, and in particular Manchester, that was a daunting option. The train was a possibility. We could go from Macclesfield to Euston, followed by a short hop across London to the Eurostar bound for Paris. Another train to Deauville would take the journey time to around nine hours. The final choice seemed to be to drive. Although it involved using the channel tunnel, the time taken would be less than eight hours. It was not a particularly appealing prospect, but it was certainly the quickest door to door. Perhaps we should just pin our hopes on winning the Queen Mary and then we could remain in the UK!

The Whaley Bridge Grand National

With a week to go the next milestone would be the entries for the Coventry Stakes. This was the only two year old race on the first day of the Royal meeting. They would not be published until 12 noon, so I took the opportunity to go to Tesco. It was relatively quiet, but then I bumped into an old friend who asked about Star Of Lady M. One of the shop assistants overheard us. She knew Sally, and she wanted to know all about our racehorse, having heard about it through another friend. She said that she did not normally have a bet, but she would be putting some money on her at Royal Ascot.

As I stood by the mangoes a few more people were showing an interest. My five minute shopping trip approached half an hour! One woman said, “I will have to get my son to put a bet on as I don’t know how to do it.” It seemed that we had created our own version of the Grand National, with Star Of Lady M carrying the weight of many small bets on her big day. I urged caution, and emphasised that there would be many other opportunities. I sensed that this was not what people wanted to hear. Eventually I got to continue my shopping, check out and return home. As it turned out I had forgotten the mangoes!

Back at home I looked at the BHA website. The Coventry Stakes had 22 entries, and several of them were the leading fancies for the Windsor Castle. It was another level of intrigue that would develop as the entries for subsequent days were released.

Lady M Lights It Up

As I mentioned we have had a Jubilee weekend, and the weather forecast told us that it would be a good one. However, Sally was not convinced. Her conspiracy theory was that all of the weather agencies had been told to forecast good weather so that everyone went ahead with their Jubilee plans. In the end we had sunshine and warm weather across both days.

That was not the only contribution that Sally made. She was invited to perform the ceremonial lighting of the beacon. This was by special request of the council, and they also wanted her to introduce the events across the celebration. As the saying goes, there’s no show without punch…

If You Want To Get To Dublin I Wouldn’t Start From Here

Finally, a recommendation. If you get chance go and watch The Dublin Legends. I did this last week at the Lowry in Manchester. These four Irishmen are essentially what is left of The Dubliners. Despite their ages they perform Irish ballads and folk songs for almost two hours. They also find time to engage with the audience, and one of them told a story about a friend named Barney who had recently passed away.

Barney left the pub and was driving home, but his car was all over the road. The Garda stopped him and asked if he had been drinking. “Yes,” he replied, so the officer asked how much he had consumed. “About 12 pints,” was the response, so the officer asked him to blow into the breathalyser. Barney said, “Why, don’t you believe me.”

You can view the previous edition here

Covid For Christmas

May 19, 2022 by Mike Madden

Down With The Duchess

Big Day For The Duchess

The racing career of Emerald Duchess got off to an inauspicious start after the early euphoria surrounding Star of Lady M. We went to see her at Tim Easterby’s, and for the first time they managed to get her out onto the gallops during our visit. She was entered into a race at Ripon, but Tim preferred to wait until he could find a fillies only race. I mentioned that there was just such a contest at Nottingham the following Tuesday, and she was duly entered.

There’s a race at Nottingham Tim! Could be just what we’re looking for!

The landlord of our hotel was very keen to know about our visit, and we also mentioned to him about our other horse that had won two out of two. He knew exactly who we meant, as he explained that “Teatime Tipple” on the wall of the bar was not just an advertising slogan, it was also the name of his horse. Star Of Lady M had beaten Teatime Tipple at Ripon, of course!

I was familiar with the roads around Nottingham, so it should have been and easy run over there once the entry was confirmed. Unfortunately my satnav had other ideas, as it took us on a circuitous route that seemed intent on visiting every set of roadworks on offer.

Dining In Style

Luke Lillingston told me that his second cousin Richard is the chairman of Nottingham racecourse, and a short time later Richard invited us for lunch in the directors box. Nottingham itself was a very friendly course, and we were shown around with a complimentary glass of fizz. We spoke to our assigned jockey Duran Fentiman before the race, as well as Geordie who was there on behalf of Tim. This was our filly’s first day at school, and it was really just the first step in her education.

It was clear that she was not well fancied.

She looked well in the paddock, and she made her way smoothly to the start. Unfortunately, she missed the break and was always struggling. The ground was like concrete, and Duran moved her off the rail to get something a bit softer. She ran on past a few horses, then she had to be snatched up to prevent her from running into the back of those fading. She finished 9th of 13 at 125/1. The winner cost 150,000 guineas, another runner cost 190,000 guineas, and the one that was tailed off last cost 40,000 guineas, so it was clearly a hot contest. The horse that finished second went on to win the Marygate at York.

The ground was a problem all day, with one horse slipping over on the bend. Emerald Duchess was fine in herself, but the following day she appeared to have sore shins and would be given rest for a while. Subsequently it was found that her shins were fine, but I think that we would avoid firm ground in the future.

To Marygate Or Not To Marygate?

Meanwhile, I went to visit Star Of Lady M to pick up our Redcar photo and to take a few pictures. She looked well, and by that time plans had changed from the Marygate at York to potentially the Lily Agnes at Chester followed by the Marygate. I have always loved Chester, and my favourite course is York, so what could possibly go wrong?

Back in February I won membership to Nikki Evans’ racing club, and in particular a horse called Fittleton Ferry. She is a Class 6 sprinter who had encountered all kinds of training problems, but now she had a new trainer and new owners. In the fuss surrounding the Chester entry I completely forgot that she was running at Bath, and as it turned out she finished last of the seven runners.

The Chaps At Chester

On the day of the Lily Agnes declarations Jason Kelly called and we counted down the entries. There were just 7, and we had a reasonable chance against all of them. We were going to Chester, and we were going to enjoy it! We booked a driver so that we could enjoy a drink, and as ever we were early arriving at the course. A helpful chap unlocked a gate and we somehow made our way to the owners enclosure, not only without badges but before it had even opened.

That was quickly resolved, and after a brief chat to Kevin Keegan, who appeared to be as perplexed as we were that Chester had not opened their gates on time, we sat at a table with all of Hugo Palmer’s owners. These included Charles Ledigo, an entrepreneur who has a business with Sally’s friend Jane O’Neill in Whaley Bridge, and Seamus Burns. Seamus is a shrewd Irishman who had previously bred the winner of the Derby and the Oaks, as well as selling a home bred yearling at Tattersalls for five million guineas. With Seamus was Ken Webb, another successful businessman who also happened to be very much in charge of point to point racing at Tabley.

It was an entertaining group, especially as Charles had a runner in our race. His Glorious Angel was touted as being targeted specifically at the Lily Agnes, but Charles had no idea where that rumour came from.

Never Trust A Bookie

The bookies had us as odds on favourites at the off, and we were heavily tipped!

At race time we headed for the pre parade ring, where Michael Owen came over to chat to us. Actually he came over to chat to Seamus and Ken but we just happened to be with them. He did seem to have an interest in our filly, but more so in the chances of Glorious Angel who was trained by Hugo Palmer at Michael’s Manor House stables.

The Star Stumbles

However, all was not well. Star Of Lady M is normally a very laid back horse, but she was on her toes and anxious. She carried this into the parade ring, and although we tried to banish it from our thoughts it remained as a nagging doubt.

We met Richard Kent who thought that our filly looked wired, and would perhaps benefit from a month off. She had not raced for three weeks, so that did not quite make sense, but Richard is a good judge in these matters.

Despite the agitation she did win best turned out horse, a welcome prize collected by our groom.

Our jockey was once again Danny Tudhope, and he was reserved but confident as we talked through the tactics. He ought to be able to lead on the rail, but definitely did not want to get boxed in.

It was time for Danny to get on board, and we were then intercepted by the ITV film crew. Matt Chapman wanted to know all about Star Of Lady M, even more so Lady M herself. Lady M has never been a shrinking violet, and she positively bloomed in front of the cameras. Matt asked me about the going, and it was a welcome distraction as the race drew nearer.

The Comedians

We made our way to the viewing area, which was not great. It was on the inside of the course, and as we looked down the course the big screen was angled away from us. Suddenly they were off. Star Of Lady M bolted down the inside, and Danny worked her to maintain a position in the blistering pace. It was clear that the horse was fighting him, and as they came into the home straight she edged right which is the worst thing to do on a left handed track.

She battled gamely, but ultimately finished last, four and a half lengths behind Absolutelyflawless. She had nothing left to give, having burnt her energy leaving the starting gate. It was disappointing, but Danny had eased her down over the last 100 yards, and she could have finished closer. We were beaten by the better horse on the day, but I am convinced that on another day at another course we would have overcome that field. The bookies agreed, sending her off the odds on favourite at 10/11.

The Star Faded

Danny was gutted at the result, and the fact that she did not show her true form. He thought she would benefit from a straight track, and from using her speed at the end of a race to pick off the leaders, as she had done at Redcar and Ripon.

We enjoyed the rest of the day, with Sally chatting to Frankie Dettori, but more on the Dettoris later! Charles had another string to his bow, producing stage musicals, and so we exchanged emails and he offered to show Ole around when his latest production, All Or Nothing, appeared locally. Star Of Lady M was fine after the race, but it now seemed that the Marygate was out of the question. It was not all bad news though. When I received my Weatherbys bank statement we had more or less covered our costs because of the prize for sixth place, the sponsorship, and some appearance money (for the horse, not for Lady M). Of course, that does not take into account the cost of the car and some rather expensive rounds!

Badminton Bound

The following week we went to the Badminton horse trials for the cross country and show jumping.  I booked an Airbnb, described as a garden cottage, and Sally normally likes to veto or approve my choice. In this instance I thought it rather odd that she just left it up to me. When we arrived I found out why. The garden cottage was within the estate of Wortley Hall that had recently been featured in Tatler magazine. Our host, Jessica, was very welcoming. She provided us with a map of her 25 acre garden that she was obviously very proud of. We decided that we had to take advantage, and so we spent an hour or so wandering through the various walled gardens, paddocks and tree lined grassy avenues.

We went into the village of Wotton-Under-Edge, which sounds like somewhere out of a murder mystery. As we settled into the first pub we were informed that not only did they have no available tables for dinner, they could also take cash only as their card machine was broken. It was a friendly place, so we booked a table for the following evening. We settled on the Swan Hotel, which was a couple of streets away. It had a rather cold hotel dining room feel to it, even in the public bar. However, the food was nice enough and the chap behind the bar provided excellent service.

Horse Trials? Not Guilty!

The following day we got a taxi to the showground, and the driver explained where he would meet us afterwards. Badminton was definitely full of horsey people, but we managed to get some good views of a few of the tougher cross country obstacles. Sally went off shopping as I headed for the bar, but when they said that Staropramen was their only draught lager I feared the worst. Guinness saved the day, and after watching quite a few people fall off, and even more horses refuse to jump at all, we headed back to Wotton-Under-Edge.

Taxi Trials & Tribulations

Unfortunately our taxi driver was not where we expected, and the powers that be had reversed all of the one way systems. He sent me his location, which was a 90 minute walk away. We asked him to get closer to Badminton village! No one at Badminton seemed to know where the authorised taxi pick up spot was, and hardly any of them were local anyway!

Eventually we were directed out of the grounds to turn left and head down the hill. A jobsworth on the gate said we couldn’t do that as there was no footpath, but Sally ignored him and marched onto the grass verge. We then got a message from our driver that he was at the Post Office, which clearly meant nothing to us. We continued to follow the road down the hill for around a mile, under a bridge as directed, and there in front of us was the Post Office.

In front of the Post Office was our driver, who had just been moved on by the local authorities. He was about to pull away when we flagged him down. We completed the 15 minute journey back to the pub an hour later. Our route took us past several familiar landmarks several times, sometimes on the opposite side of the road!

Are You Local?

The pub food was good, and then a local taxi driver took us the ten minute ride back to our cottage. The whole scenario was a bit “Hot Fuzz”, with the driver shouting at other cars who were obviously not locals!

Next day we met Simon, the man of the house. He was on a golf cart with shotgun in hand, explaining that he had failed to shoot a single rabbit all morning.

We said our farewells and returned to the Swan Hotel for a hearty breakfast. Our next journey was back to the showground, this time in my car. We spent a pleasant hour or two chatting to my sister who is a Badminton regular. She told us that the morning showjumpers are those with no chance in the overall competition. We had to wait until 3.30pm for the contenders.

Jumping Round In Circles

As 3.30 ticked around we took up our seats in the grandstand. The Princess Royal arrived to warm applause. Sadly, nobody quite realised that the National Anthem was being played until it was too late to sing along.

We had a long journey home ahead of us, so we left about half way through the showjumping finale. Sally kept in touch with proceedings via her phone, but I was all horsed out by then.

The next day Fittleton Ferry came out and finished 4th of 14 at Chepstow. I had a nice each way return at 80/1, so maybe she is not such a forlorn hope after all!

Middlethorpe And Marygate

Our next horsey event was the Marygate at York. On the one hand I was disappointed that Star Of Lady M was not running, but on the other I could relax. We checked into our regular haunt of Middlethorpe Hall and asked them to get us a taxi. They had good news. Rather than struggle with a local cab firm they had now engaged a driver. He would run us around on demand for the same cost. So, Terry took us to York racecourse. On the way he told us that he had been Frankie Dettori’s driver for about ten years. In fact, later that day he had to take Mrs Dettori to the designer shopping outlet before a visit to Marks & Spencer for some nibbles.

We got to the course and had a great day. Pillow Talk won the Marygate, having beaten Emerald Duchess by quite a way at Nottingham. Primrose Ridge, who Star Of Lady M beat at Redcar, came sixth. Therefore, in theory we would not have been a million miles away, but there were no regrets.

Spotters Badge

We headed down to the parade ring mid afternoon, and there was Terry, accompanied by Mrs Dettori. It did not take long for Sally to introduce herself, and they parted as if they were new best friends. I await developments with interest! Sure enough, Terry was there to pick us up afterwards. We will certainly be availing ourselves of his services when we next visit Middlethorpe for the July meeting at York.

Star Rises Again

We were up early the following morning, and rather than head for home we went to David O’Meara’s yard to see Star Of Lady M. She was out on a 9.30am gallop, so we arrived at about 9 on a glorious morning. David’s mother Dympna came to greet us, and she became another of Sally’s new friends. She was certainly not shy of giving her opinion, and she said she would come on to the gallops with us.

Jason Kelly joined us and we chatted about the Marygate. He agreed that we would have finished in the front half of the field, then thoughts turned to possible entries. David was out on the gallops, and he favoured the Hilary Needler at Beverley. Jason thought we could find another restricted race that would cut up. This would potentially give us another easy bonus. My preference was more ambitious. I thought we should enter the Listed National at Sandown and hope that the race reduced to just 6 or 7 runners. If it did not, then we could have the Hilary Needler as a second option. My issue with another novice race would be that she would have to carry a 14lb penalty.

Double Duchess

I am continually scouring the BHA race list. This allows you to filter on age, distance, class and a host of other things. I thought that Haydock was a good option for Emerald Duchess. It was a Class 4 maiden race, ie for horses that had not won previously, for fillies only in bands C and D. The race had only attracted a handful of runners in recent years. It would at least allow her to double her appearance tally and maybe run into a place. Tim agreed to enter her, but when the entries were announced there was a total of 24. Many of these would run elsewhere, but it was still rather a lot. I thought we might have made a mistake. However, we applied for badges and waited for declarations.

Two days before the race it was time for the declarations. It emerged that more and more of the entries had alternative engagements. This was perhaps because their trainers were discouraged by the large number of original entries. When the final declarations were in there were only 10 runners. These included Glorious Angel, so we would be able to renew our acquaintance with Charles Ledigo rather quickly! Emerald Duchess was priced up at 33/1 by Sporting Life. However, with softer ground at Haydock, and an additional furlong to race, we were cautiously optimistic.

The Ferry To Bath

I also got a message that Fittleton Ferry was in the first at Bath on the same day. This was another Class 6 handicap with so many runners that it had divided into two! She was also priced at 33/1. Given that she finished fourth last time out I was encouraged to put an each way double on the pair.

Southern Star?

The news from Star Of Lady M was somewhat puzzling. Jason had bypassed the Musselburgh Class 2 race, as expected, but had entered her into a race at Lingfield. This was a Class 5 fillies only race restricted to band D, and it was known to cut up in previous years. However, with a 14lb penalty we would need the services of a claimer to compensate for the huge weight.

Lingfield on a Saturday night was not my idea of heaven. However, Jason assured me that we would only go there with a favourite’s chance. There were just 13 entries, so it looked promising, and one of those ran earlier in the week. Another three were entered in other races, so Jason’s assumption could have been correct. Unfortunately, as the declaration stage approached, there were only two other horses that had alternative engagements. We would have to give 14lbs to Favourite Queen who had finished third and second, and Lahina Bay who had finished sixth and third. There was also Byefornow who had won her only race. She would carry a 7lb penalty, but she also had a claimer on board.

It was not looking good, but we would have to see how it panned out the following day. I noticed later that evening that Star Of Lady M had an entry in the Hilary Needler. This could only mean one thing, she was going to be scratched from the Lingfield race.

Beverley Bound

The next morning I watched the Lingfield declarations tick up. When they reached eight I received the expected call from Jason Kelly. We were not going to Lingfield, but we were entered into the Hilary Needler. Saturday afternoon at Beverley was infinitely preferable to Saturday evening at Lingfield, but now my daily countdown demons could resume. Nine days to go, and in the meantime there was the small matter of a trip to Haydock Park with Emerald Duchess.

Worse Than War

The news is quite depressing these days. One night Sally decided to turn it off as it was just too shocking. The horror stories about Ukraine were just a little too graphic. She consoled herself with some downloaded content on her ipad, but I was surprised at what it was. I went upstairs to find that she had fallen asleep to the calming sounds of the Jimmy Saville documentary!

Bo Tangles

Bo has had an interesting time lately, starting with her discovery of cat mint in Sally’s car. She was straight into it, and obviously thought that it would be a regular source. She made her way back into the car  a week or so later. Sally was unaware of this, and promptly locked her in for the best part of three hours!

Bo Shopping

A short time later I ordered her regular supply of cat soup. Ole took in the delivery, and it seemed to be quite a large box. Inside, rather than some 40g pouches of soup, there was a 15kg bag of dried cat food. Bitiba had somehow mixed up the order, but Bo was quite happy with it. To be fair to Bitiba they arranged collection of the gargantuan bag, and supplied a replacement box of soup almost immediately. Then another replacement supply of soup arrived without even being asked for. I wonder what will turn up next!

Stinky Fish

I have not been too creative in the kitchen recently, though I did make some Spanish fish inspired by Rick Stein. It was flavoured with lots of garlic and paprika, with chorizo thrown in for good measure. A word of warning though, if there are any leftovers do not leave them in the fridge. The smell is very strong, and will taint everything else in the vicinity!

While The Cat’s Away…

The clay oven has been put to good use, with fillet steak the latest success. The boys asked if they could make pizza for their friends while we were at Badminton, and I reluctantly agreed. They took most of the dough out of the freezer (thanks boys, I guess I will just have to make some more!), but they did that a day early which meant the dough would be difficult to handle. It seems to have been a success, though Zac described dropping several onto the floor, and cremating others. Surprisingly, when I inspected the oven and the tools, it was all cleaned almost to perfection.

Travellin’ Man

Ole has been busy with auditions, and he got a role in a mental health film that saw him head to Leeds for a day. He also had a call back for an ITV drama “Maternal”, which meant a train journey to London, but he has heard nothing more. It can be a frustrating time, but at least he now knows what a Split Save train ticket is!

A Thorough Examination

Zac has been busy revising for exams. His mock results were a little confusing, and he admits that he missed the point of one of his economics questions. He got a B In core maths when he was expecting an A, and he did not even give us the “onemarkoffa” excuse! His computer science project scored 47 out of 75, which he was not very happy with. He then realised that it was more than 60%, and so the world was all good again. His car insurance has just been renewed, and for the first time he has a black box. This entails an app on his phone that tells him whether he has been a good or a bad driver. He has declined to share this information so far.

The Search For Fish & Chips

I took my mum a bit further afield recently, driving all the way to Lytham before realising that the sea can be almost as far away as at Southport. Undeterred, we drove up the coast to Blackpool, where we definitely could see the sea as it splashed against the pier. However, that was about the highlight for Blackpool. It is not a nice town, and although we searched for fish & chips the only places we found open were manned by people who did not have even a basic grasp of English.

When a debate started about the merits of serving chicken nuggets without chips, a request that the server was either oblivious to or chose to ignore, we decided to head home.

Anyone For Goujons?

A couple of weeks later we went to the much more civilised Colwyn Bay. The north Wales riviera was spotlessly clean, calm, sandy, and sunny. We ambled along the beach and stopped at two cafes, looking for the traditional fish & chips, preferably served in a newspaper. Both cafes favoured fish goujons, served with French fries, mushy peas and tartare sauce, so we were out of luck. We sat down at New Horizons, and it was nice enough, but not what I want from an English seaside town. I think we might travel a little bit further along Colwyn Bay next time as there was at least one cafe that definitely advertised “Fish & Chips”. Or, we might just try Abergele!

Colwyn Bay in May

I’m Leaning On A Lamp Post

Finally, this is the lamp post on Chapel Road opposite our house. It doesn’t look well! George Formby would be proud of it. I reported it to the council on 27th April – I am interested to know whether it will fall down before they respond!

Previous edition

Covid For Christmas

April 18, 2022 by Mike Madden

A Star Is Born

Racing To Redcar

Only one place to start this month and that is with Star Of Lady M. Our two year old Havana Grey filly was showing a lot of promise on the gallops. I let the stable know that we would not be around from 6th to 14th April as we were on holiday. No bother for them, they had her pencilled her in for a race at Redcar on 4th April.

She is the grey finishing fast on the inside

The flat season approached. It began with the traditional Brocklesby at Doncaster where all eyes were on the precocious two year olds. Our race at Redcar was nine days later, and the favourite was Primrose Ridge who had finished second in the Brocklesby. The pundits have to say something. However, with little or no form to go on at least one was somewhat unkind!

It was great to see our filly actually listed on the racecard, and it seemed she was not without a chance.

Its A Long Way….

So, we headed north to Redcar. I put a bet on at 17/2. I was a little disappointed to see that on the morning of the race she had drifted to 12/1. However, no one really had anything to go on, and her price quickly shortened. The favourite was very short at 1/2, and with her experience she was definitely the one to beat.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to Redcar, but it is a long way. We travelled for two and a half hours to get there, and when we arrived the course was not even open. Ten minutes after our arrival, they finally let us in. We walked past the winners enclosure, wondering or maybe hoping if we would be back there later. Any of the spots would do.

Looking out onto the racecourse, it was calm, tranquil, though there was a bit of a breeze blowing.

We found our way to the Owners & Trainers enclosure, and Sally and I were both quite nervous. Our girl’s name was everywhere, which didn’t help!

I spoke to assistant trainer Jason Kelly earlier in the day, He cautioned that inexperience might be our downfall. However, he assured us that jockey Danny Tudhope would give her an education. Our nervousness increased as the clock ticked around, but we met Tim Easterby and Tom Denham. They kept us occupied and took our minds off the race. Tim also had two running against us.

The Big Parade

Finally, it was time to go. We went to the parade ring where we met Charlie from the yard. I asked her what happened if we didn’t finish in the first three. Did we just go home or would we see her afterwards?She said we could go back to the parade ring where the horse would be unsaddled. Danny came out looking resplendent in our emerald green and black starred colours. He told us that he hoped to cover her up behind the two horses that had raced previously.

Jason Watson, the other jockey associated with David O’Meara’s stable, was on the favourite. I asked Danny if he had spoken to Jason about how good the favourite was. He had not, but Jason had asked him about our filly. Confidence grew, but only a little. Danny was calm, we were not. As she headed for the start we took up a position on the steps overlooking the finishing line.

They’re Off

She went into the stalls with no problem, so step 1 was complete. She broke well enough, so step 2 was complete. The plan was abandoned when Primrose Ridge and Zephina went right. We were exposed, but up with the pace. The favourite led, but around two furlongs out Jason was hard at work. Danny moved Star Of Lady M up to challenge. He was going well. The expensive Insolente switched to the inside and looked a threat along the rail. Danny went in front. A head, a neck, half a length.

The angle was poor and it looked as though Insolente was gaining, but he was actually a length back. Primrose Ridge was beaten, Insolente was held, Zephina finished quickly but well behind. With 100 yards to go we had it sewn up. We both shouted “Go On Star”, and then looked at each other in astonishment. We were close to tears. Our baby girl, purchased for just 15,000 guineas back in October, had won her first race, The winning prize was about £4,000, but she had also claimed a GBB bonus of £20,000 of which we got 65%. The yard, jockey, trainer and breeder also benefitted from this windfall.

She’s Got It

We headed back to the parade ring where Tim Easterby commented that we had a nice filly. He also pointed out that we were in the wrong place. We should have been in the winner’s enclosure. We were still in a dream. Charlie collected us and led us to the place reserved for the winner, where Danny had just dismounted. It was clear that he loved the horse, giving her reassurance before and after the race. It was also clear that she responded to him. The next 20 minutes was a bit of a blur. Sally had already had a selfie with Danny in the parade ring (of course), but now lenses were clicking and microphones appeared from nowhere. We gave our details, and then we were invited inside for a review of the race and a glass of champagne.

Lady M topped the day off by sitting here…

Redcar gave us a USB stick containing the race (that is now well worn out!)

They also provided a memento of the day, and kept everything safe for us until it was time to go home.

Heads In A Spin

We sat outside, oblivious to the biting wind, and contemplated what had happened. Our phones exploded with messages of congratulations, and then they started ringing. Luke Lillingston (our friend and bloodstock agent) was first up – we had originally asked him to buy us a racehorse. Nine days into the season she had already won. Richard Kent, breeder and co-owner of Emerald Duchess, was thrilled for us.

My favourite Tweet was this one…

The rest of the day’s racing was somewhat irrelevant. We couldn’t really get into it. Danny rode another winner for David O’Meara, and I backed him when he came second on another O’Meara horse, but we decided to head home. We celebrated with a few beers in the Drum & Monkey, and looked forward to our next outing.

She was officially rated as 51 on TopSpeed with a Racing Post Rating (RPR) of 75, so at that moment in time she was the highest rated 2yo filly in the country!

Whatever Next?

The plan was to go to Beverley on 21st April, a week after our return from holiday. She would have to carry a 7lb penalty for her victory, but that’s life. However, the stable had a back up plan. Ripon on 14th was not ideal, the day we travelled back from the Dominican Republic, but she would only have a 4lb penalty and the race looked like it would cut up to just a handful of runners. The going was described as “Heavy”, not ideal, and so another backup plan, at Lingfield on 16th April, was put in place.

By the time declarations were made, 48 hours before the Ripon race, two things had happened. Firstly, the going was changed to “Soft”, which is the same as at Redcar, and secondly the race was reduced to six runners. Two of them ran in the Brocklesby, finishing 6th and 8th, and as we had already beaten the runner up we should have been confident. There were also three unraced horses, and soon after one of these was listed as a non runner. My two nephews represented us at the course, and had an absolutely fabulous day out. Paul took his partner’s father Neil, whilst Jake took fiancee Aimee, and it was an unbelievable experience, meeting the horse, chatting to the jockey, and enjoying the privileges of the Owners & Trainers area.

Lounging Around

We landed at Paris and were in the lounge in good time for the race. British bookmakers do not allow live streaming of races outside the UK, and Sky Go is not available in France, so we searched for another feed. I found William Hill TV, and we settled in to count down the 45 minutes until the race. Jason Kelly called and said we would try to start quickly, but Beach Breeze (8th in the Brocklesby), was drawn on the rail and would likely lead. The plan was to track her and make our move from half way.

Unlike at Redcar she was a hot favourite, as short as 4/7 in places, and the pundits were all over her.

She drifted in the betting, but we were still confident, and she looked well in the parade ring.

At the post we had a major concern as Danny Tudhope was off her back and trying to tighten her saddle. Two stall handlers tried to calm her, but she was getting agitated. Fortunately the situation was resolved, and although she was looking around she was led calmly into the stalls.

A Walk In The Park

Moments later they were off, and as predicted Beach Breeze took the lead along the rail. The two newcomers were hopelessly outpaced, one of them lost about 8 lengths at the start. Teatime Tipple (6th in the Brocklesby) was under pressure early, and Star Of Lady M raced on the shoulder of the leader. By half way the leader was under strong driving and we were cruising. Danny let out a little bit of rein and she pressed on, taking the lead and soon going clear. She was never asked a serious question and won by an easy 3 1/2 lengths.

The airport lounge soon knew about it, and once again the phone started ringing. Luke, of course, and then Jason. Marygate was on everyone’s mind. This is a class 1 listed race at York in May, a huge step up in class, but she deserves her chance. Her TopSpeed rating was announced as 80, a huge increase from 51, and her RPR was 84, up from 75. She was now officially rated better than her mother!

The first three in the last running of the Marygate were rated 68, 77 and 81 before the race!

Richard Kent was more ambitious, expecting us to get calls from California to get her racing over there!

As for Star herself, she was just fine!

Beverley tweeted that she looked an ideal horse for their showpiece Hilary Needler race. York came back and suggested the Marygate was first. Star Of Lady M was in demand!

When we got back to Whaley Bridge it was off to the Drum again for drinks, and as the following 48 hours unfolded we were happy to learn that she was safe and sound and almost certainly en route to the Marygate!

My nephews returned from Ripon and handed over a nice picture, USB recording of the race, racecard, and another memento, this time a plate.

 

Waiting For The Duchess

Regular readers will know that we also have a syndicated filly, Emerald Duchess, at Tim Easterby’s, and she is yet to see the racetrack.

She suffered from sore shins, but we got two clips of her that show she is progressing. We will visit her in late April, and hope to see her racing soon.

 

Emerald Duchess is part owned by Richard Kent at Mickley stud, and Richard invited us to have a look round the stud farm. We travelled down to Market Drayton in Shropshire, and Sally was thrilled to see all of the foals and mares on display. We also got a glimpse of a very lazy looking Massaat, the sire of Emerald Duchess.

He wasn’t so lazy a short time later, when he had to perform in the covering barn. We happened to be passing by at the time, and Sally decided to video the whole episode. Massaat was very professional and efficient, with the whole act being concluded in about sixty seconds.

We thanked Richard for his hospitality and left for home. Sally called Zac down and asked, “Do you want to see Emerald Duchess’s father perform?” Zac traipsed down the stairs and asked, “What do you mean?” so Sally showed him the video. He was horrified. “I did not come downstairs just to watch horse porn,” he said, and returned to the sanctity of his bedroom.

Enter The Lady!

And with all of this horsey info – we had better not forget the lovely Nancy. Here she is with Sally galloping away with Chatsworth in the background.

Shop Local!

In the last edition you will have seen that I went to Wythenshawe Park and bought some rather expensive local honey. In the same shop I noticed “Mrs Darlington’s” preserves, a selection of jams, chutneys and curds that were stocked in the local farm shop and marketed as local produce. More recently I went to Bakewell, and bought a local Bakewell Pudding (same ingredients but quite different to the Bakewell Tart).

In the same local shop guess what else was on sale? “Mrs Darlington’s” preserves. Now, I am sure that Mrs Darlington’s produce is flavourful, but local to Bakewell and Wythenshawe it is not. Its from Crewe! I suppose its about the same as Chatsworth Farm Shop suggesting that all of their “local” produce is actually grown on the farm!

Its Been A Long Time

Its seems a long time ago since we went to Spain (August 2021), and even longer since we went long haul, so we were mightily relieved to finally get away to the Dominican Republic. We upgraded to Business Class with Air France, though someone forgot to tell Air France what “Business Class” actually entails.

For the previous few weeks I had been getting government updates for travel to France and the Dominican Republic, but none of them seemed to specifically refer to “Transit”, so I interpreted them as best I could! Turns out I had more documentation than I actually needed, but better safe than sorry.

There were horror stories related to Manchester Airport, particularly four hour queues at security. I had dropped off a family friend at the airport the previous weekend so I knew that these stories were true! So, we arrived there at 3.30am for a 6am flight. There were check in queues, mainly for bag drop, but security looked deserted. We joined the Sky Priority bag drop queue from Air France, and although there were only about a dozen people in front of us, it took well over an hour to drop our bags and collect our boarding cards.

Covid Crisis

We also had to demonstrate our covid status, and as Sally could not download hers. She had not enabled face recognition and there was no Wifi available at the check in desk. This added another ten minutes onto the whole process. Note to Air France – when queues build up you need to be able to open more priority desks, which they eventually did after an hour.

We cruised through security, except, of course, for the obligatory search of Sally’s bag. This time she claimed it was just a random drugs search and swab, but Ole, Zac and myself shook our heads! It was now 5.30 and we exited security through the duty free shop (why does every airport take you through the duty free shop?). We didn’t even have time for the lounge, but Sally edged towards Jo Malone. “The display doesn’t say Flounce Off To Duty Free,  it actually says Go To Gate,” I pointed out, and we headed for the plane.

The flight was late taking off, mainly due to waiting for passengers to get through the Air France check in process, but we had a layover of 4 hours at Charles De Gaulle airport and so were not too concerned.

Non Madame

On the long haul flight the crew came round asking for our choices for lunch. Although Sally was one of the first to be asked, she was told that they had no beef. She didn’t want anything else, so the stewardess went away to see what she could do. A few minutes later she came back and effectively said that Sally could have her beef and she would have something else.

Now this is wrong on so many levels, for instance, why make a passenger feel like you are taking the food off someone’s plate, and why are the crew reserving their meals before Business Class passengers. The Air France offering included ewe’s milk cheese tart and cucumber juice, but it was ok. Not a patch on KLM, but at least with Air France we had good seats and rest areas.

They offered us champagne, water or orange juice prior to take off, at which point Zac requested a vodka and lemonade. They made him wait for that!

Arriving in Punta Cana we would normally expect Business Class passengers to disembark first, but not with Air France. They positioned the air bridge over the second door, and then we waited for the next cabin load of passengers to get off before we could.

Paradise Found

Our bags arrived promptly, and we negotiated the zoo that is the Punta Cana arrivals hall before picking up our transfer. Forty five minutes later we arrived at the beautiful Zoetry Agua Punta Cana resort, and our troubles seemed to melt away.

The first morning we were up early, like 5am early. After a quick coffee we strolled along the beach and watched the sun rise. Later in the day we discovered that there was a coral reef just off the beach which meant that snorkelling was within easy reach. The activities included yoga, Spanish lessons, aqua gym and evening entertainment. Ole and Sally made the most of these, I did not.

 

The following day our early morning beach stroll was interrupted by a security guard who wanted to know our room number so that he could account for everyone leaving the resort, as well as returning. Where were you at 5am yesterday? I thought to myself.

Fish Food

We saw a local guy catching fish from the beach, but he got a bit too close to one of them and got bitten. The blood poured out, and he had to rip up his t-shirt to stem the flow. We explained this to the boys, but it did not deter them from entering the ocean. They snorkelled quite far out, and when Ole told Zac that he thought he had seen a barracuda, Zac did not ask any questions. He turned to the shore and motored as fast as he could to the safety of dry land.

Zac spent a lot of his time studying, with exams straight after the Easter holidays. However, he did try a lot of new foods, including rice wrapped in vine leaves, and chicken wings that became his staple lunchtime protein. He was promised lobster, but none of the restaurants had it on the menu. Apparently it was the wrong time as it was the breeding season and quotas were reduced.

So, we asked our concierge for a taxi to Castaways, a local beach restaurant that advertised grilled lobster. This was arranged, but before that he also managed to get one of the restaurants to prepare lobster just for us. This was very much appreciated, and delicious, but we decided to head for Castaways the following day anyway.

Desert Island Security

The taxi picked us up and drove us a few miles down the coast. Castaways is on the beach inside a gated community full of apartments and villas, so the taxi had to stop at the gate. I was a bit surprised when paperwork had to be completed, but we were soon on our way. The driver gave us his card, and passed some paperwork to the restaurant. We ordered several starters, grilled lobster, mahi mahi, local beers, and finished it off with key lime pie (not as good as mine!)

It was a peaceful setting on the beach, a very relaxing atmosphere, and the staff seemed to be genuinely Caribbean. Then, the staff called our driver who needed more paperwork. The restaurant had to sign to say we had visited them, we had to pass that to the driver, and he had to hand it in on the way out of the gate. It was all very over the top, and would probably put me off ever going to the Dominican Republic again.

Delayed

Our return took us via Santo Domingo, adding a couple of hours onto the journey, but that at least meant we would catch the race at Paris. The whole process of pick up, check in, security and passport control was very good, and we were soon chilled in the lounge. Zac went to Pizza Hut! At Manchester there were lots of e-gates open, we cruised through and had to wait all of five minutes for our bags. In fact, the biggest delay was waiting to turn right off the A555 at High Lane!

Culinary Creations

In the kitchen I have been very busy, with St Patrick’s Day creating a flurry of activity. I made potato farls, boiled ham and cabbage, St Patrick’s Day cake and a new venture, bread and butter pudding with Irish Whiskey custard. That was very heady, and should always be followed by a lie down.

The clay oven has been in constant use, with pizzas and chicken high on the agenda, but as we approach spring, and because the Irish Whiskey custard left me with a lot of unused egg whites, I also made a meringue with fresh fruit.

Fire!

In the garden I have been digging up some shrubs and replacing them with laurels to create a natural hedge. One of them was a real bastard to extract, causing me to break one of the tines off a garden fork. When I chopped into it the inside was bright yellow, clearly toxic and we are well rid of it!

Elsewhere, we cleared out the fire pit, and as our neighbours were getting rid of a garden shed I decided on a bonfire. It went up like a dream, and generated such heat that it shattered several of the rocks around the pit. It was worth it though.

 

Champions!

Ole’s Hayfield team duly won the league in a canter, losing just one game all season. They did suffer a draw in their final game at home to Buxworth, but only because the referee had an absolute shocker. I don’t normally criticise referees, but when they are in their seventies and can barely see the watch on their wrist it is perhaps time to think about hanging up their whistle.

The season is not yet over, as while we were away on holiday they also beat 19th hole in the cup semi final, so we look forward to the cup final at Baslow at the end of the month.

On the acting front Ole has done plenty of auditions without much success. However, he did receive another boost from the BUPA ad that he recorded two years ago. They want to run it for another year so he gets another annual fee!

Lay Down Your Spoons

We seem to have lost a lot of teaspoons. Ole blamed Zac, mum blamed Zac, and Zac said he had noticed that there were fewer about. So, we had a spoon amnesty. We are not yet up to our full complement, but there has been a definite increase.

Wrapping A Cat

Anyone know how you wrap a cat? Probably best to just pretend that you are wrapping something else. They always get involved.

December 27, 2021 by Mike Madden

Covid For Christmas

An Eye Watering Review

I will start this edition with a product review. Not something I do a lot, and certainly not in response to emails that arrive literally minutes after ordering. However, I feel that guys out there need to know the truth, so here goes.

I am 60 so I feel I can talk about the sensitive and possibly disgusting subject of nasal hair removal. I have used a few trimmers, but I have never found one that is both reliable and really good at removing hair. Some of them eat through batteries way faster than the Duracell bunny, whilst others pull and tear rather than trimming. So, I thought there must be a better way. I found this on Amazon…

The line on the front of the package states “Fast, Effective & Painless Nose Hair Removal”, so it seemed ideal. I also read some reviews, which seemed to back this up. The reality is very different.

Hot Stuff

Essentially you get some wax beads, little cups to melt them in, moustache guards so you don’t remove your moustache, wooden spatulas to stir the wax, and applicators to apply the molten wax. It suggested 3 minutes in the microwave for the wax, followed by 90-120 seconds to set in the nose. After 3 minutes there were still lumps in the wax, so I gave it another minute.

I stirred quickly, and although the instructions suggested one nostril at a time, I realised that by the time the first one was done the rest of the wax would have set. So, I tested the temperature of the wax and it seemed ok, then I carefully placed one applicator into a nostril. I did the same with the  other one. It said you would be able to feel when the wax was cool enough and set enough to remove, but I preferred to count. I gave it the full 2 minutes, which may have been a mistake.

Nose To Nose

I gently pulled, and realised that a sharp tug was required. so I tugged. If you can imagine the idea of putting hot wax up your nostril and literally tearing the nasal hair, well that sounds painful, right? And it was! With eyes watering I did get the sense that something had been removed from my nose. Maybe something that wasn’t meant to be removed. It somehow felt cleaner. I looked at the applicator which was a big mistake. It looked like a fruit salad chew that had somehow fallen under the fridge and been discovered 6 months later.

I then realised my second mistake. Whilst waiting for my eyes to clear and trying to get the image of a hairy fruit salad chew out of my mind, the second nostril had set harder than it should. Not messing about, I knew the tug had to be a lot harder, and it was. So hard that it drew blood. Again, there was a lot of hair, but I now had the sensation that someone had punched me on the nose with a red hot fist.

In Case Of Emergency…

It obviously did the job, but the prospect of doing it again seemed quite remote. However, in for a penny and all that, I thought the ears would be much easier. That was certainly not true. It seems that ears are way more sensitive than nostrils, and I found this out rather quickly as the hot wax seared the opening to my ear.

In this case I rolled the wax around to cover all areas, and as with the nose I did two at once. This time I thought I would give it just 90 seconds, but it was still too late. I had an applicator sticking out of each ear, and a throbbing nose, reminiscent of Blackadder just before he went over the top. A sharp tug was a terrifying thought as the surface area of the ear is far greater than the nose, and that bit of the ear that juts up above the lobe is possibly one of the most sensitive parts of the body.

And Eyes And Ears And Mouth And Nose

For more than a moment I considered that I might have to go to casualty to get the applicators removed, then I manned up and pulled. Wow! My ears were ringing, completely taking my mind off my throbbing nose. The ripping sensation felt like someone had used rusty scissors to tear apart the ear, and I still had the other one to do. I pulled the second, and found that I was left with a strip of wax on a strip of hair that still needed to come out, but now I had no applicator. I eventually resorted to scissors, being careful not to irritate my reddened aural aperture.

To all of you ladies out there who regularly wax your more sensitive areas, I salute you. I still have two applications left in the package, but I am not going anywhere near them. Probably end up on eBay, unless I get drunk at a Christmas party. It would certainly make for an interesting forfeit.

Covid Communication

At the end of my last edition you probably saw that Ole had covid and missed two auditions. Well, actually he missed the Kes audition, and although they said they would wait until this week for a Zoom call they have already found someone else. The Waterloo Road audition was done over Zoom, not ideal for a Chemistry Test, so he is not too hopeful about that one either.

However, the real kicker came two days later when Zac announced to the world that he was also positive. I was a little sceptical as he retired to his room with the test, and when I asked him for the test so I could register it, he quickly intervened and said he would register it himself! However, with two boys on lockdown the house has become somewhat chaotic. Fortunately we have a Messenger group to maintain clear communication, and it has been a bit of an eye opener.

Covid Catering

The food requests started early!

The box in question was Dairy Box (remember those?). Apologies to someone who would have missed out as that box had been earmarked as a prize in the Whaley Bridge Cricket Club Christmas raffle.

It seems that Ole’s enforced isolation had seen a deterioration in his eating habits…

The following morning he seemed to repent…

Zac’s demands were a lot simpler – basically ham and cheese in either a sandwich or a toastie. But there are always complications…

 

…and we do expect some minimum standards!

By now I was getting used to it…

Then it became like Deliveroo…

The requests became more detailed as the days passed…

Staffing became an issue…

The threat of a review had to be addressed…

Zac had to do another test – just to be sure…

The results were inconclusive! I suspected foul play…

Takeaway Time

Despite Covid, or perhaps because of it, we stuck to Saturday night as takeaway night…

As you probably know Ole’s body is a temple, Zac’s less so, and mum was playing the martyr…

Zac has seen this ploy before…

Ole’s requests were relentless – but I got some respite by taking a walk…

Eventually I resorted to a menu system…

We got busy – even Sally had to help…

After the stresses of Sunday – Sally had to take me to the hospital – the boys would have to fend for themselves…

Then it was back to normal…

Praise indeed…

But then the guests, sorry, patients started getting picky…

Finally, away from the kitchen, there has been a spate of burglaries…

Someone wasn’t taking it too seriously…

They are both now out of isolation, though I’m not convinced I have seen a negative test, and true to their word there was a review…

7/10?

If issues fixed?

Looking forward to when the tables are turned!

Eventually, just in time, I was able to get back to Rocky Road, and other Christmas goodies. High on the agenda was injecting the Creole Cake with a good dose of Cointreau, and that was followed a few days later by the final dressing!

With the Rocky Road and yet another chocolate log alongside the Creole Cake, overall I was quite pleased with the Yuletide baking!

Feeling A Prick

As mentioned above, Sally took me to the hospital to get my injection of Duralane, a form of Hyaluronic Acid. I thought I would get a local anaesthetic, but no. The surgeon asked me to lie back and said I would feel a sharp scratch. Now, admittedly, it wasn’t as bad as the Groomarang experience, but having a needle stuck in your knee, first to drain fluid and then to replace it, is not a particularly nice experience. Dull aches and sharp stabs are the order of the day, or maybe I just have a low pain threshold!

Christmas Crumbs

Regular readers will know that we stay at Middlethorpe Hall quite a lot. The beautiful National Trust property, almost adjacent to York racecourse, has been a favourite for years. Well this year we got a handwritten Christmas Card from the manager. I’m expecting an upgrade to the four poster suite next time we visit.

Finally, Christmas Day saw us get to light the Christmas Pudding. I had never made one of these from scratch before, but they will definitely become a regular feature of Christmas, if only to wonder whether it will explode or not!

July 19, 2021 by Mike Madden

Tarts And Cakes And Penalties

Back To Normal?

Are you ready to return to normal? I certainly am. Last week I went in to Tesco and had got more than half way round the shop before I remembered to put my mask on, and no one commented!

Predictably our holiday to the Dominican Republic got cancelled again, it is now scheduled for April 2022, although now the Dominican Republic is on the red list! However, April is a long time off. Of more concern is our trip to Spain. That was due to start in July, but Easyjet cancelled the flights. So, it moved to August. Fingers are well and truly crossed!

The Vegetable Patch

Of course, with the vegetable patch in full production we won’t go hungry, as long as we can survive on radishes and lettuce. The runner beans are some way off, though the carrots might be about ready, and I dug up the first potatoes yesterday.

Its a bit early for the tomatoes, and although the broccoli initially got chewed up there are now some healthy plants growing. The peas were not so lucky, I have maybe one or two plants to produce a summer and autumn of peas. The sprouts are intriguing. A couple of them got nibbled but whatever was nibbling didn’t like the taste. The remaining 8 are growing healthily and should be just about ready for Christmas!

Elsewhere, I asked Sally to bring back some sweet pea seeds. She returned with chives. These herbs are quite easy to grow, but not as pretty! Anyway, Ive since planted plenty of sweet peas and sunflowers to provide some colour in July and August.

The initial crop of radish was vibrant!

In The Kitchen

As ever it has been busy in the kitchen, and I came across a recipe for crumble cake. The bottom part is a fruit sponge, and the top is a fruit crumble. What’s not to like? I began with raspberry and fig, but my favourite is definitely apple and blackberry!

       

Apple & Blackberry or Fig & Raspberry – you decide!

I also made a perennial favourite – Bakewell Tart!

And of course Bakewell Tart is just one of the many recipes in my latest book. The imaginatively titled Mmm…No2…Cookbook is a sequel to Mmm…No1…Cookbook, but don’t expect a quick third edition. It has taken nine years to produce this second tome.

I finally released it on Amazon in June, and it is available on Kindle or paperback.

Mmm…No2…Cookbook on Amazon

Back to the garden and we got a reasonable crop of gooseberries. I rustled them up into gooseberry, almond and apple tarts. They went down so well that I had to make some more the following day. Definitely candidates for Mmm…No3…Cookbook.

Elsewhere in the kitchen I drove down to Rusholme last week and bought a huge assortment of spices. Many of the ones I have at home are 10+ years old, and although they don’t really go off they certainly lose a bit of their sparkle. So, armed with star anise, cardamoms, fenugreek and ajwain I set about making completely fresh balti garam masasla and balti paste.

This is the garam masala ready for grinding.

You can expect pics of different balti curries in a few weeks time (usually about 6 weeks for the taste to mature), and in the meantime for that authentic curry smell just nip round to my kitchen!

And whilst on the subject of curries, what has happened to the “curry mile”? This quintessentially British phenomenon has been infiltrated by steak houses and barbeque pits, barely an elephant’s trunk kebab shop to be seen. Fortunately the Worldwide Foods supermarket has survived.

Zac finished school for the summer, and he naturally went out to celebrate. When he came home I heard a lot of noise in the kitchen so I went to see what he was up to. In a throwback to Phoenix Nights, he was cooking oven chips in a frying pan (the clue is in the name). However, he persevered and claimed that the taste was even better. I suspect that was the alcohol speaking.

Meanwhile Sally is exploring the possibility of those boxes of food that are a complete recipe. You just order it, cook it and eat it.

She is even considering her own range – I think she could be on to something!

Sport For All

Sport made a welcome return earlier in the year, and Zac made the most of it playing in goal for Whaley Bridge Under 18s. In a tense cup tie at Stockport Vikings the game finished 1-1. In the evening gloom it went to penalties and Whaley missed early. Zac saved, Whaley scored, then Zac saved again. Another goal from Whaley meant that Zac had the chance to win it…

The following week glorious April burst into life with a hailstorm in Offerton as Zac played against Hillgate Boys Club, and the cricket season began in the lowest temperatures and most miserable conditions I can remember for several years.

I played against Broadbottom 3rd XI and scored a 50 – still got it in my 60th year, but my legs were stiff for days. A couple of weeks later I smashed a quick 31 against Old Glossop. However, a pulled knee caused some discomfort, and in a T20 game a few days later that worsened into a tweaked hamstring. Of course, I didn’t think it was that bad, and 3 days later I played again, the result of which was a grade 3 hamstring tear. Four weeks and several physio sessions later I tested it in another T20 fixture. It failed – so now I am waiting for another opportunity towards the end of July.

Ole also suffered an injury playing football for Chapel. He had been playing well for the seconds and got asked to play for the firsts. He was sub, and complained that he had felt something in the warm up. Like father like son, he came on and lasted just four minutes before retiring injured. He made his comeback at Dove Holes, and somehow got cramp in both legs. He seems to be over the worst for now, but then he is not almost 60!

The Euros came and went with some very entertaining games and a lot of alcohol consumed. The Drum And Monkey did an outstanding job of hosting our regular trips down the lane, though unfortunately they could not guide us through penalties. Perhaps Jordan Pickford should have copied Zac’s technique.

DIY

Never really thought DIY would be a section in my blog, but after the benches, the seat and the cold frames, I decided to make a fountain in the part of our garden that has become known as “The Gypsy Camp”.

Digging out was surprisingly easy, then I inserted a plastic bucket, covered it with a sieve, bought a pump with tubing from Amazon, and an ornamental head from an online garden centre. The whole thing was finished off with a few ornamental pebbles, and it works quite well. When the plants have grown to cover up the few bits of structure that are visible my work will be complete!

I also decided that I should have a clay oven in the garden. So, I ordered a handmade one from Fuego, made with real Spanish clay! Fortunately the lead time is 15 weeks. Fortunately, because it needs a cover to shelter it from the elements. I was thinking a lean to type structure, and the builder could also build the brick base for the oven which weighs, quite literally, a ton.

I was thinking that this type of lean to would suffice for the pizza oven!

However, when Sally got hold of the plans they seemed to escalate out of control. RSJs were mentioned, extensions, foundations and all manner of garden structures.

I think she based her plans on this…

Getting Away

Despite the lockdown restrictions we have managed to get away a couple of times. One of these was a trip to see family in Kent, and we were supposed to be staying at the local pub. We had two rooms booked, or so we thought, including a twin for Ole and Zac. A double booking meant the twin was not available, so they had to share a double, which was fine. Then, a further complication meant that only one room was available, and would they mind camping out? “We have gone from the comfort of two single beds, to sharing a double, and now a tent. How has it come to this?” moaned Ole. Eventually they crashed at a cousin’s flat, and as he went out of his way to make them sausage, bacon and egg butties the next day all was well with the world.

The next trip was a day at York races. It was a bit odd, with vastly reduced crowds and table service in a carvery restaurant, but the booze was plentiful and Sally had her share of winners. Afterwards we retired to Middlethorpe, where we sat on the terrace in the evening sunshine drinking a jug of Pimms! Lockdown? What lockdown?

Going To The Pub?

The PubHead app is starting to gain traction and we are one of the sponsors for the Leek Blues & Americana Festival.

You can find the app in the app store and on Google Play or visit www.pubhead.com.

Here is our promotional video…

A Good Education

Zac is now at the stage where he is considering his options for university or maybe an apprenticeship. Of course that also means that, as he finishes his first year of college, he will need considerably more disposable income. This is particularly true as he has now passed his driving test, but more of that later.

He considered a few things, and Sally suggested one particular seasonal job that he was definitely not impressed with. “I know that beggars can’t be choosers,” he said, “but I want something a bit better than selling ice cream in Pomeroy.”

Towards the end of term he was not quite as diligent as he could have been in attending lessons. He missed a business studies class, and Sally got a “ping” to inform us that he had not turned up. Although he promised to make up for the missed time, there was more bad news for him. Someone that did actually attend the lesson tested positive for covid and therefore the whole class had to self isolate and miss the rest of school. Except for Zac!

As I said, Zac was extremely lucky to get the first driving test on the first morning that they were available after lockdown. He passed, and within a couple of days he was the proud owner of a Ford Zetec. Unfortunately it broke down due to a mechanical fault related to the engine warning light, but that was quickly resolved. However, it also broke down for a different reason. He was somewhere up Chinley Churn one evening, and his car would not start. He had the lights on, the music on, maybe even the air con. The only thing that wasn’t on was the engine. It was clear that they battery had died, and in attempt to guide me to his location I received this…

I insisted that he made his way to the railway bridge, and eventually I got him home. Then Sally had to take him back to his car to remove all valuables, as he realised that the windows were all down and with no power he couldn’t put them up again. Sally was not best pleased!

Animal Magic

Bo has now become (more or less) an outdoor cat, and little presents are almost a daily occurrence.

She has not yet taken to disembowelling them, but it can only be a matter of time.

Meanwhile, we are buying a racehorse. The plan is to rely on the expertise of one of my Buyanom contacts, Luke, to help us to identify a yearling at the Tattersalls October sales. Luke suggested we could get the horse “broken in” locally, which would not only save on costs but would also allow us to visit the horse regularly. Sally listed a few potential horsey people, but it began to sound like something out of Peaky Blinders. Anyway, this Friday we are visiting David O’Meara’s yard just outside York with a view to maybe housing the horse there for its racing career. More updates to follow.

Finally, I woke up this morning to some excitement as Sally said she found a hedgehog on the path. “Where is it?” I asked. “In the bin, it was dead,” she commented. I have no idea how it got there, and maybe more will follow, but given Sally’s track record for bringing dead hedgehogs into the garden it is a worrying development!

Wooden Shite With Candles

November 29, 2020 by Mike Madden

Losing It In Lockdown

So we are in Lockdown 2 – only a month, but its already had an impact. We booked a holiday for February, travelling in style to the Dominican Republic where Zac could enjoy the delights of a butler, a plunge pool, and lobster on demand.

The flights were via Paris, and unfortunately Air France have cancelled all flights for the foreseeable future.

On the positive side, Virgin Holidays customer service excelled themselves, and within 20 minutes they had rebooked us on the same trip for the end of March. I’ll warn the butler.

Steps

Back in July I thought it would be interesting to take the million step challenge. The idea is to walk 1 million steps in 3 months, and I have decided it is  impossible. I refereed several football games, did endless walk rounds at cricket, and walked up and down Elnor Lane picking blackberries. I don’t think I even reached half way.

Lockdown Treats

The kitchen has been a busy place, with Lockdown Saturday treats and a few in midweek too. My bramble gin has been duly bottled, and the Creole cake has had its first and second feeds (port and brandy – sherry and Cointreau to come). Chocolate digestives have been made, hidden, found and eaten, whilst Victoria sponge and chocolate sponge with Nutella buttercream didn’t last much longer. The latest creation is mini cheesecakes. They are supposed to be left to set for 24 hours, but I am not hopeful!

Pumpkin pie was a perennial favourite, and then there were beef enchiladas!

And chocolate skulls for Halloween…

 

Of course, as the year turns towards December there is the obligatory chocolate log and gingerbread biscuits.

Shoutout to Hickory’s Smokehouse in Poynton. We’ve been there twice recently and not only do they do the Covid distancing really well, they also serve delicious food and drink.

For our wedding anniversary we headed to Castleton, and decided to climb up Winnats Pass. Well, about 2/3 of the way. Its a lot easier going up than coming down, especially on a wet day. Anyway, we survived and had a nice pub lunch at the Bull’s Head. Wonder when we will be allowed to do that again?!

Bo!

We have the patter of tiny feet around our house, as Bo the little girl pussycat joins the family. She spent the first few days sat on my shoulder like a pirate’s parrot, but that has now changed. She has settled in very well, loves to surprise you by leaping on to your back, hanging on with extended claws, and her favourite resting place is a chair under the dining room table last frequented by Bobby.

 

PubHead

Its a bad time to launch PubHead, it being a pub-based app, but it has given us the opportunity to add new features – the latest being pub crawls. Once lockdown ends and the tier system moves in our favour, who will be first to complete all pubs in Whaley Bridge?

Get the PubHead app

When Is A Good Deed Not A Good Deed?

Zac had a pair of Yeezys that he outgrew. Size 8, whereas he is now a size 10. These exclusive trainers were the genuine article – I know because I paid for them. But when Sally tried to sell them she was hit with a barrage of “they look fake”! If there was definitive proof that they were not fake they would have fetched around £170, but people remained sceptical. However, there is a boy in Buxton who lost a lot of his possessions in a fire. Sally offered the magical trainers to him and he was delighted. It was a real feelgood gesture, but Zac did point out one downside, “I am still £170 down on the deal”.

Zac has had abut 3 driving lessons, but that does include driving to Buxton and back. Now, however, he wants to drive us all to my mum’s in Sale at Christmas, as that is what Ole did (after significantly more lessons). I feel that only an extended lockdown will thwart him.

Acting Up

Ole has been very busy despite the lockdown.

His LGBTQ short film is now the subject of a book available on Amazon,

A Series Of Light book

Whilst his BUPA ad finally saw the light of day

BUPA ad

He also did another voiceover, a job he got because of his Wereworld recording in London, and then he got a part in the Channel 4 series Ackley Bridge. Its a small part in the final episode of the next series, but he made the most of the experience, staying in a nice hotel for a couple of nights and mixing with the rest of the cast. It should hit the screens in February.

This week he has had two audition requests, one for Coronation Street, but I’m not allowed to tell you which part as it would be spoiler, and Brideshead Revisited which would be very exciting with a lot of global travel (post pandemic of course!)

Kitchen Calamity

Despite best efforts, some home made things don’t last as long as the preservative filled equivalents that the supermarkets sell. I made sweetcorn relish, and despite being in the fridge it grew some mold. Sally decided she would try to avoid the mold and use the rest of the jar, but to no avail. She eventually gave up, but the interesting part concerned the jar itself. She was making beetroot chutney at the time, and I pointed out that the jar was given a thorough wash in boiling water, and then sterilised in the oven. “In the oven?” she questioned, and hastily revised her plans for cleaning the chutney jars.

The pumpkins came to an untimely end, as the local squirrel population filled their faces with them. We salvaged a very small one, just to prove that it was genuinely a pumpkin, but not sure we will use up that amount of growing space to feed Mr and Mrs Nutkin next year.

We got a new dishwasher this week, or rather we didn’t, we got a six month old dishwasher, as ours has a dodgy front panel which means opening it is, well, very slightly more awkward than on other dishwashers. Anyone who has ever had to plumb in a dishwasher will tell you it is never straightforward, but Sally duly fetched the dishwasher, chopped the plug off the old dishwasher so that it could be removed, and made ready to plumb the new one in. Unfortunately, the water pipe is not compatible. It has a small plastic block on the end of the pipe, and there is no way this will fit with our existing pipe structure. So we would have to put the old one back. But wait a minute, she chopped the plug off that one so it won’t work. So, now we have to call a plumber to alter our pipework so that we can replace an old dishwasher with a slightly less old dishwasher.

And Finally…

We still went to York for our annual pilgrimage, despite not being able to actually attend the races. Middlethorpe Hall was magnificent, and we decided to make the most of our night away with dinner at the National Trust hotel. Sat in the drawing room, we had several drinks beforehand, and I decided to nip back to our room to get changed.

“I was just going to bring you a menu,” the waiter said as I walked past him. “I will leave it with the young lady.”

“I would rather you left it with my wife,” I replied. I laughed at my own joke, Sally did not!

June 27, 2020 by Mike Madden

Ciabatta And Chocolate Cake

The interminable lockdown continues, but I have been as busy as ever, with gardening, chocolate cake and DIY all on the agenda! I am working on projects for Google (GCP) and Buyanom by day, whilst still managing to make dinner with some careful planning. And there are good reasons for that.

The Kitchen

First of all I asked Sally to cook something. It was not a complicated task! Five minutes later the smoke alarm is blaring throughout the house. Secondly, I asked Ole and Zac to make dinner. They decided on burgers, and somewhat ambitiously got the grinder out of the cupboard. 20 minutes later two burgers had been made, the grinder was very hot, and there was a lot of cursing.

“Its rubbish,” said Ole.

“Nothing is coming out,” said Zac.

The grinder is not an industrial on; it can get blocked. I started to take it apart. Funnel, corkscrew, fastener, mince wheel…

“Where’s the…” I said.

“You mean this?” Ole interrupted, holding up the cutting blade. “We took it out as it was blocking everything.”

So they had basically been trying to push chunks of steak through very small holes. I suggested they put the two already made burgers back into the mix and start again!

Can’t Beet It

In an unrelated episode Sally bought some raw beetroot.

She put it on the stove to cook and went about her business. Ole looked puzzled. “Should I turn it off?” he asked. “No – it will be fine,” said mum. I nudged him, and said, “that will be forgotten”. Sure enough, an hour or so later, Sally had left and gone to the farm. I got a call. “Can you turn the beetroot off?” “You called it dad,” said Ole. “Experience and orphaned pan lids,” I said. I then removed the heat that was starting to meld the beetroot into the enamel of yet another pan.

Orphans

Ciabatta

June was definitely Ciabatta month, and I found a great recipe. The first attempt was ok; I left the “Biga” for 4 hours to mature before starting the full baking process.

A good first try, but my second attempt was a revelation. This time I left the Biga overnight, and left the dough much stickier. I realised I would probably need a bigger bowl!

The finished bread was magnificent, even if I do say so myself. The proof of the pudding, as they say! It had all gone a very short time later.

Anyway, I have now ordered a bigger bowl – so expect a lot more breadmaking in the near future!

Chocolate

Chocolate cake has been a popular choice over the last few weeks, and any time really! I made a Genoese sponge with chocolate buttercream…

…and it seemed to be going down rather quickly.

“Zac, how much cake have you had?
“A normal amount”
“And how many times have you had a normal amount?”
“Twice. Not counting after tea.”

So three then – but that still did not account for all of the missing cake.

“Sally, have you had any cake?”
“I’ve had chocolate egg.”
“That’s not what I asked – have you had any cake?”
“I might have had a sliver.”

Honestly – you have to be on your toes! I am thinking of diverting the Ring doorbell for my next one.

I also made Gypsy creams, mainly because I wanted a good picture for Mmm…No2…Cookbook.

These are a great biscuit for dunking – and very moreish. Its a shame they stopped making them – and if they started again they would probably have to change the name to appease the PC brigade!

Another popular dish has been Mexican lentil soup. Depsite the hot weather this is quite refreshing, with the chilli giving it a real kick,

The Garden

The vegetable patch is coming along famously and we have already tucked into plenty of fresh lettuce. Sally says its expensive in the shops – I reckoned we have saved around £4.75 up to now!

Ole questioned the merits of this – “will it taste of soil?” I assured him that it would be totally organic and free from chemicals. “Chemicals that make it taste nice,” he responded. There is no hope for the youth of today, and Zac didn’t help when I extolled the virtues of picking peas and eating them straight out of the pod, “There’s no way I am eating raw peas!” and bearing in mind he eats less than 10 peas at a single sitting this will definitely be an uphill struggle.

The beans took a while to get going, but now they are climbing away…

…and the pumpkins are adapting to their new surroundings.

The most eagerly anticipated crop is beetroot. Everyone tells us it is difficult to grow!

Of course, I put the success down to the scarecrow keeping all of those pesky birds at bay!

The Bench

For those that know me this next story may seem a little unbelievable, I made a garden bench. Sally moved a dilapidated bench to the vegetable patch. I suggested it should be thrown away, as the wood was completely rotted. With a venomous undertone she suggested that she had had the bench for a long time, and it would be akin to throwing away her childhood. So, I set about restoring it. I measured the wood that was left to work out what was needed. Then I dismantled the dilapidated relic.

As I did so I realised that the metalwork would also need renovation, and my original idea of throwing it away seemed a lot more appealing. Drinkwaters supplied some sturdy wood. I sawed it and chiselled it, and I gave it a couple of coats of misty blue paint. Then it was rust removal time! This would have been a lot easier with a flat piece of metal, but ornate bench ends are not great for wire brushes. I got some attachments for the power drill, and I displaced quite a bit of the old paint and rust. Next I got some rust remover, and this did as good as a job as I could have hoped for. Finally, I applied spray paint, and left the black ends to dry.

Construction

Putting it all together was probably the hardest part, as some of the screws were in awkward positions, especially with the added complication of a lever that allows the bench to face both ways. But, I persevered, and eventually a sturdy bench appeared. I am not sure how many times the metalwork has been replaced in the past, or, indeed, the wood (thanks Trigger). But to Sally it is now back to its original glory. Childhood saved!

Zac

Lockdown has been tough on Zac, in so many different ways. He looked for a lightsaber; unfortunately the one that he wanted was too expensive. Then eBay came to the rescue and he got one for around £3. It suprised him when it arrived, as it had been posted through the letterbox. It had been extracted from a MacDonald’s Happy Meal, rather than being a life-sized replica from Star Wars!

Football has been abandoned for the season, and he is not one to voluntarily indulge in exercise. However, he did go to the football field with a couple of mates. An hour later he returned to announce, “I am going for a little bath, I think I have earned it!”

Trying to build on that we suggested a family walk. “We can go up to the cricket field, or up to Eccles Pike?” mum suggested. “I am not going anywhere that involves the word up,” he replied.

Cycling

Last week he walked with his mates from Whaley to Combs, then he called me to drop my bike off so he could cycle back. Unfortunately he cycled back a bit too far, and ended up in the middle of Whaley. Undeterred, he walked over Old Road and arrived back in one piece. Two days later he is still complaining that he can no longer walk properly!

His favourite late night drink is hot chocolate. However, he is not to be fooled. He has a reputation as a super taster, and this was once again borne out as Sally tried to hoodwink him. They may look like Cadbury’s but they certainly don’t taste like Cadbury’s and he would not budge. After several attempts at bluff and bare-faced lies, Sally had to admit that she had tried to mix some Spanish hot chocolate with the Cadbury’s, and that it would taste the same. It clearly did not, and that might have had something to do with the Spanish stuff being 8 years out of date.

Zac’s mood was not helped when it was my turn to select which takeaway we would get. I said that there’s a new frozen yoghurt place in Buxton – we could go there. Zac was gobsmacked. No chippy, no Chinese, no Indian, no pizza? He suspected a rat. “Frozen yoghurt? Is that even a thing? I’m Googling it!” We ended up at the wonderful Frydays.

Yoghurt

And speaking of yoghurt, Sally regretted not putting her readers on when she indulged in scones with strawberry jam and cream. They just didn’t taste quite right.

Ole

Ole’s lockdown has been a very different beast to Zac’s, with daily workouts a regular part of his routine. “I’ve done weights and cardio. What have you done?” he asked his brother. “I’ve had four more hours in bed than you have,” was the technically accurate reply.

Ole finally finished his uni work, and he received the marks for his last piece. He is optimistic about his final grade which should be released in July. Meanwhile, the trailer for his film “White Light” has been posted on Youtube, with the full release on Amazon Prime Video on 17th July. It is one in a series of five or six short films, with the first released on 3rd July.

The trailer is here:-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuZnGbI-tGE

His audition to play a 15 year old for the BBC did not result in a role, but they contacted his agent to give him very good feedback, which is unusual. Ole then went on to say that at his BUPA ad, for which he has been paid handsomely, he also got good feedback from a friend of his agent, across both of the days of his filming. Zac listened along with a certain detachment before announcing, “I’ve had enough of your showboating!”

Its the time of year when everything becomes due all at once. I sorted out Ole’s car tax and insurance, and told him he needed an MOT. “What again?” was his stunned and possibly annual response.

Back To Work

Sally’s return to work as a volunteer at Stepping Hill seems to result in an endless supply of goodies donated by local businesses. At first it was primarily Easter Eggs, but last week a box of low sugar granola appeared. Having tasted it I can see why they had to give it away!

She also managed to sneak off for a haircut in the garden of her hairdresser in Buxton. She was a bit miffed when on her return I asked if her hairdresser was unable to do it (it was a joke!), whilst Ole said nothing at all. “Let’s see what Zac says,” she said, wondering if her youngest would pay her a compliment. “Says about what?” asked Zac. “You mean about mum always having a go at us?” Mum decided not to continue her search for platitudes.

I was a bit worried after a trip to the farm when it appeared that Nelly was ill. Sure enough, a couple of days later she was on antibiotics. Fortunately she has made a full recovery and is back to eating anything and everything, though strawberries are a particular favourite.

New Technology

I bought a portal for my mum so that she could keep in touch with her family during lockdown. She is just about getting used to it. Its a bit difficult to explain to someone who has only just dispensed with a proper wired dial phone how to swipe with your finger! She now enjoys video chats with her sister in Canada and several others. The portal is so impressive that it has become a must-have gadget, so now Sally and Gabi have them too. Who will be next?

Sport

The country is showing signs of returning to normal, with the Bundesliga back on our screens. Initially it was a strange experience without fans, but then La Liga reappeared, followed by the Premier League. Sadly, it looks like the domestic amateur cricket season will be all but wiped out. That is a real shame as the ground at Whaley Bridge looks magnificent!

I was saddened to hear of the death of Stranglers keyboard player Dave Greenfield. Together with Jean Jacques Burnel, in my opinion he was the Stranglers. They have announced that they will still play a farewell tour later this year, and it will be interesting to see who replaces Dave. I certainly hope that they release the film that we saw previewed in Brixton last year.

Here is my interview with the director David Boni

https://www.spreaker.com/episode/17050242

Facebook scams and Clickbaits seem to be thriving in lockdown (see previous posts). I can also categorically state that having not done the ice bucket challenge, I will not be posting 10 albums, 10 happy moments, or 10 footballers either!

Fathers Day was interesting as the boys bought me a turntable. They had never seen vinyl before, and they were fascinated that one single groove produced the music. They were less than impressed that an LP, when both sides were considered, contained around 12 songs!

The Road Ahead

So what does the future hold? Well, Buyanom is launching in the US, and although the Live Projects were curtailed this year we still have plans for next. Our pub app Pub-Head is still progressing, and although pubs are still locked down, we are hoping for a big launch in the autumn. One sponsor is already on board!

So, we have been indulging ourselves during lockdown, and I splashed out on some Birra Moretti glasses. I have already abused them – this is actually Magners with ice. Cheers!

January 30, 2020 by Mike Madden

The Saga Of Advent – Christmas Comes Early

Regular readers will recall Zac’s triumphant, if a little muddy, Duke Of Edinburgh expedition. Well, of course, that’s not all he had to do. Another of his tasks was cooking. He had to cook one dish every week for three months to show that he could do it. It started off well, with brownies, pizza, even Moroccan lamb. Then he kind of lost interest. That was until the night before the deadline when he had to complete two more tasks! There was a frantic scramble for ingredients as he decided to make a chocolate log. Ambitious, but he had seen me make one several times and he loved it. Unfortunately, left to his own devices, he used Lurpak spreadable rather than solid, unsalted butter. The mixture was like water, time was pressing on, and at around 10pm he had to start again! Zac being Zac he insisted on rolling the log the opposite way to me, so he ended up with a long thin branch rather than a thick log, but it worked! A bit of icing sugar and it looked quite festive. His alarm was set, and the next morning he produced scrambled egg on toast. Not the most ambitious, but the thirteenth of his thirteen food challenges was complete. Bronze award sorted. I think the silver award is out of the question.

Sally, Zac and Ole went to see 1917 at the Light Cinema in Stockport. It was brave of Sally to watch a movie so late in the afternoon, and she may well have had a snooze, but Zac came out absolutely buzzing. Highly recommended, so much so that he has already been to see it again. This is in stark contrast to Gypsy, the subject of our annual trip to the Royal Exchange in Manchester. Whilst the theatre retains all of its charm, the play was quite simply too long!

It may well be the last chance to catch The Stranglers live in 2020 as they announced that they are withdrawing from their gruelling tours. Manchester Apollo in November promises to be an emotional night.

In the next few weeks I will be back on the air with Ex Pat Radio. Several interviews are already in the can, including a very promising French outfit called Saults and an elderly Welsh chap who is still rocking with his band Razmtaz, but the two I am most looking forward to are Steve Harley (of Cockney Rebel fame), and Suzi Quatro.

Christmas was a bust time in the kitchen – with Rocky Road and of course Creole Cake emerging unscathed (apart from a somewhat grotesque snowman!

Zac’s rants are becoming infamous, and there was another last week when he could not find his hair conditioner. It turns out that Sally had binned it, even though there was enough for another wash still remaining. “When its ketchup I have to squeeze the last drop out of the bottle, but with conditioner you just throw it out. You’re a hypocrite,” he declared to his unsuspecting mother.

She does sometimes get the better of him, or at least she thinks she does. A couple of weeks ago he refused to get out of bed, and she refused to give him a lift. It got worse and worse, and eventually he had to get the Service bus. When he got home he admitted that he did not actually get the Service bus, as his mate Alex was getting a lift from his dad and they picked Zac up at the bus stop. “Did you call him to pick you up?” I asked. “No,” Zac replied, but the guilty laugh told me otherwise.

Around Christmas could have been a stressful time for Zac, with mock exam results looming large. However, he was not really concerned. “I know how much work I’ve done to get these marks,” he reasoned, “so I will know how much more work I have to do to get better marks in the real exams.” Whether he actually does the extra work is another matter.

He seems to have spent a lot of money on his Xbox FIFA game recently, but, as ever, he has a plan. “Loads of people do it,” he said, justifying his criminal activity. “I buy some points, then tell them I’m only 12 and they have to give me my money back.” Dad’s foot went firmly down at this point.

Christmas was indeed a joyful time, and Sally loved it from the minute Ole rang her to play “Driving Home For Christmas” as he set off back to Whaley Bridge from Salford. However, he got a bit of a shock on Christmas Day. Zac had waited patiently for this moment, exacting revenge on his brother for a similar event years earlier. He carefully wrapped an iPhone 11 box (after getting instructions on how to wrap a box) and handed it to Ole on Christmas morning. Ole was so grateful to be able to replace his ageing phone, and he carefully lifted the lid to reveal… a pair of socks. “I just won Christmas”, Zac declared, with a laugh that Dick Dastardly would have been proud of.

Of course, Christmas is increasingly a time for parcel deliveries, and I was expecting a package. I received a very precise email notification, stating that it had been delivered at 11.52, but there was no sign of it. We have one of those Ring doorbells, so we checked the log. Sure enough, there was activity at 11.52, so where was it? Sally remembered the postman knocking, but she was not sure what happened after that. “It will be in the office,” she said, but it wasn’t. We searched high and low, and eventually found it tucked away in our wardrobe. “I don’t remember putting it there,” she admitted. We may have to have a Ring fitted on every door in the house so that we can trace parcels after delivery.

I’ve got another job! My trips to Kiev will soon fade away, but now the destination is Sao Paolo working with Google. That may sound exciting, and Zac is most impressed, but my first visit involved an overnight flight that landed at 6am. It was too early to check in so I got changed in the hotel toilet, then I spent a full day at the Google office. That night I had the luxury of a hotel room, and the next day I had a full day at a client office. I returned home on another overnight flight vowing never to do that kind of whistlestop trip again! I learnt that Sao Paolo traffic is amongst the worst in the world, with scores of vendors selling all manner of stuff to the drivers of endlessly stationary vehicles. I also learnt that Google have free beer in their offices every Thursday.

In fact, as I write I am on my way back to Sao Paolo on a much more sensible daytime business class flight (well, Google are paying so why not?) I had to be up at 3.40am, so I set two alarms, and then decided to add insurance with Alexa. “Alexa is the worst alarm ever,” said Zac. “You just have to say Alexa stop, and she does. Its rubbish. I have to set about ten Alexa alarms every morning.” “We know, we hear them,” Sally and I replied in unison. I have spotted a Runaway Alarm Clock on Amazon, I might just replace Zac’s Alexa with it! To make matters worse, snow was forecast overnight, making my journey to the airport potentially hazardous. “Its 31 degrees in Sao Paolo,” I announced. “Yes, but you will miss the snow,” said Zac. He will learn, one day.

I am not sure if this is the best Christmas present, but it has certainly got the most potential. The board is Velcro, and it takes footballs and tennis balls. Can’t wait for summer!

We live in a beautiful part of the world, and Sally seems to be somewhat jealous of my picture of Fernilee reservoir. I think she believes that she is the only photographer in the house. My thanks to Louise Thompson for letting her know how good my pic is!

Sad news that rockabilly legend Sleepy Labeef passed away. I first interviewed Sleepy back in 2009 which led to me meeting Mike Sanchez which led to Mike Sanchez Big Town Playboy – a marvellous adventure. RIP Sleepy.

We have launched a new app thanks to a collaboration with Manchester Metropolitan University. This one is along the lines of Panini football stickers, but for pubs You visit a pub, collect a sticker, and collect “Pint Points”. There’s also the facility to create “friends”, upload photos, and see yourself on leaderboards. Of course, its really an app to find pubs, and as it links to Google Maps you can find out what kind of establishments are in your vicinity with just a couple of clicks. It’s in beta testing at the moment, and only on Android, but we have big plans for it including a major launch during Freshers Week in September.

Android users can download the app here…

www.pubhead.com

Finally, another excitement that builds up towards Christmas is the traditional chocolate-filled Advent calendar. Mum laid one out for Ole, even though he was at university for much of the month, and one for Zac, but things did not go according to plan. Zac admitted that he had dipped into Ole’s calendar, proudly revealing that he started at the 24^th and worked backwards to avoid detection. Mum also admitted that she had snaffled a few, and when Ole got home he just gobbled up the rest. Advent finished on December 14th.