November 21, 2018 by Mike Madden
Findmyiphone? Findmypast!
Sometimes its Zac that causes me the most consternation, sometimes its Ole. Sometimes its both of them. Throw in a healthy dollop of Gabi and Sally and, well, life can certainly get complicated.
This week it was definitely Ole!
I was a bit under the weather after a long week in Leeds and the onset of a cold, so I looked forward to a relaxing Saturday morning. I woke up at around 8.30, and my bleary eyes showed a message on the lock screen of my phone. It was Ole.
The message was sent via Facebook Messenger, which is not unusual, but the message was surprisingly eloquent.
Hi dad, I went out with the flat tonight and left my phone stupidly in an Uber and I’m trying to get it back, I’ve called all the help lines but they’re all offline so can you contact me through Facebook – I’m trying to retrieve it asap. Sorry.
Ok – so I might have corrected some punctuation, and its not the most grammatically correct that it could be, but it was sent at 4.56am which probably also explains why the help lines were offline. No plea for help – I suspect that the very presence of the message was meant to trigger my assistance. I switched on FINDMYIPHONE, a very useful app that located Sally’s lost phone at Drinkwater’s back in the day. It showed that the phone was quite low on battery, but not moving, and it was somewhere just off Kingsway. I then accessed Ole’s email and saw his Uber receipt – driver’s name Javaid.
I sat down with a cup of coffee and pondered what to do next. I could wait until Ole got up, but that would be mid afternoon by which time the phone might have moved. I could ring him, but he has no phone! Sally suggested ringing two of his mates. Ethan answered somewhat tiredly, but it was still only 8.45! He wasn’t with Ole – but he knew he had lost his phone. Bruce didn’t answer. I checked the app again and the phone had still not moved. So, I decided to go and find it myself. The streets were deserted, except for parents taking their children to sporting, dance and other recreational activities, and it looked like a nice day for it. My satnav took me all the way along Kingsway towards Levenshulme, and where the road splits it is quite a nice area. I saw an Uber parked in a driveway, and sure enough FINDMYIPHONE was pointing right at it. I peered through the window, wondering what the twitching curtains of the neighbours would make of my approach, but there was no sign of the phone. Probably under a seat, I thought. The badge in the Uber was of Javaid, so that was a relief – no one else had picked the phone up, but it was only 9.30, Javaid had probably been in bed just a couple of hours, and would not want waking. I knocked gently on the front door. No answer. I sat back in my car and pondered some more. A lady walked past, veered towards Javaid’s house, then veered away again. I penned a note, leaving my number, and posted it through the letterbox. Minutes later I was on my way home.
That afternoon Ole connected through Facetime. It was around 2pm. I told him that I had found his phone and he needed to pick it up. He told me that Uber had a process that had to be followed for lost property. The chat ended and then the messages began.
Ole: Whats your number?
I gave him the number thinking he would call on someone else’s phone, but no.
Ole: I’ve given them your number.
Me: Who?
Ole: Uber
Me: What for?
At this point I got a call from a number that I did not recognise, so I cancelled it
Ole: So they can call you
Me: I think they just did
Ole: Well call them back
Me: I can’t – its blocked from incoming calls.
I then explained that there was no point Uber calling me as they would probably want the person whose phone it was – so it would be best giving them the number of someone in the house so Ole could be there too.
Ole: No one is up
I did not respond to that
Ole: Hang on – I’ll see.
Messages stopped but then resumed again when he had given Uber Sinead’s number, but they had not called her.
I went in to the garden to brush up leaves, a very soothing process after communicating with Ole!
A short time later my phone rang – it was Javaid. What a nice man. He confirmed that he had the phone and Ole could pick it up any time before 4.
I contacted Ole.
Ole: How am I going to get there?
Me: Errr – public transport?
Ole: That will take ages.
Me: An Uber?
Ole: It says 35 minutes – that will cost a fortune
Me: A lift?
Ole: I’ll message Tristan, but he might not answer. We don’t communicate on here normally. Hang on – he will take me but not now.
Me: And…?
Ole: He can take me after midnight.
Me: What about tomorrow?
Ole: Yes – he can do it tomorrow.
I confirmed the arrangements with Javaid and all was well that ended well.
Big plus to Javaid and the wonders of FINDMYIPHONE, but for Ole – hmmm! You decide!
I reckon the FINDMY… generic group of apps could be a winner, for instance FINDMYWAYHOME where your house emits a homing beam that your phone can pick up and guide you home, or FINDMYSANITY where you can pinpoint the exact point that you descended in to madness and which of your children finally pushed you over the edge (probably all three!)
Anyway, I taunted Ole with a picture of a freshly steamed chocolate pudding that he was missing out on!
And while on the subject of all things culinary – Sally visited Albert and Jane Harris last week – these two sprightly pensioners were brewing up, and Sally thought she would help. Albert’s brew was an Oxo cube in a mug of hot water, which Sally mistook for coffee. Albert was less than impressed when she poured milk in it.
I have three sisters. One has three boys, one has two boys, and one has one boy. That is six cousins for Ole, Zac and Gabi. A couple of weeks ago, the six cousins and Ole went out in Essex. Ole was constantly reminded by just about everyone that his mum had asked them to look after him. “Don’t worry about me – I’ll drink them all under the table,” he complained. The previous night Gabi went out with friends and got hideously drunk. So by Saturday night I was messaging Ole to ask “are you drunk yet?”, and Gabi to find out “are you sober yet?”.
I think I have brought them up well!
Halloween was a bit of a damp squib! I know it rained a bit, but we had chocolate skulls, pumpkin carvings, scary glow stick eyes in the hedge, mini skeletons climbing up the walls, and a projector with scary videos and soundtrack. Not a single Halloween visitor. Not one. Maybe it was too scary! Maybe I’ll just keep it all up until Christmas! Maybe next year I’ll make sure its visible all over Whaley.
A shoutout to Zac’s football team. Whaley Bridge Under 15s are performing well and perhaps not getting the results that their effort deserves (except for a huge win over local rivals Chinley). So, hats off to Dranny, John and Ros (never underestimate the value of admin) – and here’s hoping the second half of the season brings many more points.
When Ole is away we make all the same food – just in a way that suits us. When he is back, we generally revert to what he likes. And there are certain foods that he definitely does NOT like.
He turned up unannounced a couple of weeks ago and his favourite chilli dish was quite wrong. “All of a sudden its ok to put mushrooms in chilli – the worlds gone mad,” he complained.
That wasn’t the end of his problems that weekend. On his return journey he boarded the train at Whaley Bridge for Salford. He got asked for a ticket somewhere near Stockport, and said that when he got on at Davenport there was no ticket machine! Davenport? More of that later. He offered to buy a ticket with his railcard, but the collector smelt a rat. He said he would have to pay full fare from Davenport to Salford, and he should consider this as a warning. Next time it would be £100 fine. Ole was outraged. I always get a ticket from Davenport and never had a problem. Much swearing and cussing followed, until I pointed out that the cost of a railcard reduced single from Whaley Bridge to Salford was still more than a full fare from Davenport to Salford, so he had still conned the railways and was in profit. He didn’t quite want to see the logic in that.
A blast from the past from Whatsapp the other day, as one of my first mentors, Bernice, sent me this trip down memory lane.
Anyone who has read The History Of (My) Coding will know that I played a lot of cricket, wrote a lot of match reports, and created a lot of stats in the 11 years or so that I was at the brewery – if you have not read it you can find it here.
The end of the season at York Races came and went – with Sally finishing the final meeting with no less than THREE badges. There was her members badge, an owner’s badge, and a restaurant badge. I wonder if she can go one better next season?
Zac is a bit of a whizz at badminton, but this term for PE he has chosen basketball. He’s not too happy with it and wants to change. His choices are hockey or table tennis. He’s not bad at table tennis – many hours playing in the garden with Ole have honed his skills. However, he is likely to choose hockey. The reason, “there are only gay guys and girls that play table tennis,” he said. Now, this is not some form of homophobia or sexism, he genuinely believes that those two groups would not match his own talents around a ping pong table.
More bad news for Zac – Sally got stuck in Buxton waiting for her car to be fixed when Zac came out of school. He didn’t have a key. He called mum who went in to a panic. She called Helen who picked her up and they abandoned the Range Rover at the garage. As they pulled into the driveway, Zac was sat on the step with a face like thunder. He greeted them with his trademark upward nod of the head (think Caribbean!) Helen point blank refused to go inside the house. “You’ll have to make him sausages,” she said, ushering Sally out of the car. Later that night he was at football training, and the final indignity was having to get a lift in Ole’s car. It was a bad day!
I lost my business banking secure key – so had to get a new one. I then had to get my credentials reset. HSBC reckon that is dead easy! Here is what their website says!
We need to reset your security details because you’ve forgotten more than one of your credentials. Resetting your details is quick and easy – simply answer the questions on the following screen and then print and fax the form to us.
Alternatively the form may be taken to your local branch.
Anyone have a fax? Or a local branch?
Its Thanksgiving weekend, which means Black Friday and Cyber Monday. To celebrate, I’ve made four of my books free on Kindle – click the links below from 8am Thursday morning. If you download one – I would really, really, really appreciate an Amazon review.
August 2, 2018 by Mike Madden
Sofai Martins
Sofai provided a quote for my book Elvis Under The Covers. She asked me to provide some words to promote her new album Free Loving Human. This article is the result.
Shout it loud, Sofai Martins has a new album. Shout it very loud, as one of the leading lights of the independent European blues scene has produced some of her finest work. Free Loving Human is an eclectic mix of influences and styles that should elevate Sofai to the top table of Euro blues, feasting on a variety of jazz, pop and rock and roll dishes along the way.
She may not yet be a household name, but Sofai has certainly paid her dues. Growing up with the sounds of the sixties and seventies, one of her earliest influences was Elvis Presley. Her soleful rendition and clever choreography of In The Ghetto is a fitting tribute to The King.
However, her musical tastes were many and varied, ranging from folk rock and blues in the shape of Creedence Clearwater Revival, Joni Mitchell and Traffic, through the harder rock of AC/DC, Led Zeppelin and Bruce Springsteen, and onwards to the black grooves of Eddie Floyd and Etta James. Other influences are also clear with this latest release, as she describes her music as “A kinda melting pot of what I’ve listened to – it’s rough, but I need it to be groovy!”
She was never a fan of school, and grew up with the idea of becoming a singer / songwriter, and strapping on a stylish guitar along the way.
Her persona is also a heady mixture; hardworking blueswoman with a voodoo style! Her bio describes her musical universe as “Delightful Wildness”, an epithet so perfect it had to be made for her.
For Sofai, the writing craft is part of her essence. “I cannot sit and try to work, getting depressed because nothing’s coming. I just have to be aware of my feelings. I have always got a guitar close to me, or my little recorder in my pocket when I am away from home.”
It comes as no surprise that her desire to write and perform sees her drawn towards musical greats that she would have loved to share a stage with. Otis Redding, Janis Joplin, Richie Havens, all sadly passed on. Steven Tyler, Bruce Springsteen, Bonnie Raitt, maybe one day Sofai!
She loves biker and blues festivals, particularly in her native France, and she has opened for Beverley Jo Scott, Debbie Coleman, Carmel and Sharrie Williams in Belgium and Switzerland. The stage is hers, with England and the US on the agenda.
Her band are a family, with relationships across the musical landscape, and the strength of their familial bonds is clearly etched into the new album.
Californian bass player Marten Ingle has written songs with Sofai for more than a decade, and his musical pedigree takes in Percy Sledge Billy Paul, Tony Allen and Ray Lema.
Guitarist Mar Todani has been with her for three years. Born in Japan, Mar moved to England in 1994 and settled in Paris in 1998. He has played with American blues shouter Big Joe Turner, and he adds something special to the music. Sofai has a special place for him. “He’s really precious. He is that kind of guitar player that I’m in love with, because I want and need something very melodic on every solo part.”
Drummer Danny Montgomery also hails from California, and as well as playing with Percy Sledge and Billy Paul he has hit the skins for American jazz duo Tuck & Patti and singer songwriter Willy Nile.
French keyboard player Slim Batteux completes the set, another who has shared a stage with Percy Sledge and Billy Paul, as well as Ray Charles and Brazilian singer and percussionist Carlinhos Brown.
Their time in the studio was well spent, with Free Loving Human the result of their musical and emotional creativity. Each song is defined by the opening guitar, and each has its own raison d’etre.
Never Give Up takes blues to the edge of pop, as Sofai fights the music business with the belief and desire to get her through. Bonoboland is a fanciful tune with a mambo beat and a brass section that comes straight of the big band sound. The Bonobo of the title is the sex loving chimp from the Congo basin, and the message dates back to the hippie mantra of “make love, not war!”
After the light introduction of the first two tracks the album leans towards a heavier rock sound with Rising Up From The Ashes, a poignant reminder of the frailties of life, dedicated to a friend who survived the Bataclan Theatre terrorist attacks in Paris. It could be mischievous to suggest that Everything, dedicated to all businessmen and in particular President Donald Trump, should deliberately follow a track that gains its message from terrorism, I guess only Sofai will know the answer to that. The song itself is upbeat, almost frivolous, taking the listener towards the American pop sounds of the B52s.
The Sam & Dave classic I Take What I Want is driven by electric blues. Yes, this is blues, and don’t you forget it! All blues albums must have a love song, or many love songs. Lost or found, new or old, its all about love. Sofai makes no apology for including Deep In My Soul as her only tribute to that deepest of emotions, exploring her inner self in a true blues statement. Next its off to the world of jazz with Don’t Let My Chance Go By, suggesting that life has everything out there, you just have to open the box to see what is inside. The title track of the album is a truly outstanding piece that could yet become a blues anthem, with an unmistakeable Aretha Franklin vibe sitting atop the melody that pounds at the doors of gospel.
Sofai returns to her earliest roots of progressive or even glam rock with Don’t Bring Me Down, with a guitar riff that would not be out of place on a Marc Bolan track. The song pays tribute to Myriam, the teenager from Kurdistan who fled to escape the Turkish army, was bombed on more than one occasion, but who still managed to write a book and keep a bright outlook on life; a lesson from the blues!
Al Green’s Take Me To The River is the second cover on the album, but Sofai leaves Mr Green’s version in a different world, adding echoes of Henry Mancini’s Peter Gunn. The bonus track, Life Goes On, is a haunting tune emanating from a personal tragedy at the Bataclan Theatre, an event that became a tragedy for the world.
Sofai does not shy away from anything, this is her world, this is her way. She is influenced but does not imitate, she pays tribute but does not bow down. Free Loving Human is another mile along her personal blues highway, but this particular milestone will be her most significant yet.
Catch Sofai on tour. Free Loving Human will be released in September 2018.
January 3, 2018 by Michael Madden
Police And Thieves And Celebrities
Happy New Year to everyone, and the run up to Christmas has been as eventful as ever.
Certain things always happen at certain times of the year, and I’m A Celebrity seems to be one of them. It finished mercifully quickly, but that did not stop Zac from getting in on the act. One of the questions asked was, ‘What percentage of men would give up sex for a million pounds?’
Zac proudly announced that he wouldn’t, then he asked me. I took the same stance.
Ex footballer Dennis Wise mulled it over, wondering what Boris Johnson’s dad would do (Mr Johnson Snr being another ‘Celebrity’.) He considered that Mr Johnson Snr might already have stopped having sex, so giving it up wouldn’t really be a hardship.
Zac saw the merits in this, and I knew where his line of thinking was going.
‘Have you stopped yet?’ he asked me, without a hint of embarrassment. When I replied that I hadn’t he had his own announcement to make.
‘Neither have I. I’ve not even started yet!’
Speaking of Zac, his latest purchase is a tongue scraper, and he has been letting all of his friends know just how wonderful it feels when you have scraped your tongue!
I’ve been travelling to London quite a bit recently, for business and pleasure. The pleasure side of it led to a great night of American Football for Thanksgiving, whilst the business side of it is mainly around my role as GDPR Consultant. However, in an interesting twist, I may be about to become non executive director of a software development company. Never done that before – so I will let you know how it goes.
Elvis Under The Covers got a bad review on Amazon, but that’s ok. If everything was five stars people would be suspicious. As Phineas T. Barnum supposedly once said, ‘there’s no such thing as bad publicity’.
Its been a busy time in the kitchen, as you might expect in the festive season. The chocolate log was confirmed as ‘The Best Cake Ever’ by Ole and Zac, an accolade that I am happy to take from my pair of cake fiends.
A week or so later, however, there was a lot of swelling and angry redness which indicated an infection.
Sally put this down to a walk to the Drum & Monkey on Christmas Eve, as that 400 yard round trip was obviously worse than chasing after her and her horse around Bakewell on Boxing Day!
Speaking of which, she looked rather splendid in her new costume. It seems that she has had quite a few new costumes to accompany last year’s Christmas present!
Anyway, New Year’s Eve definitely provided a highlight as we ventured off to Edwina Currie’s jungle room for a party. Unfortunately we were not able to stay all night, but we were there long enough for a famous face to arrive. ‘I am sure that I know her,’ Sally announced, shortly followed by, ‘isn’t that Linda Lusardi?’ My first impression was that it couldn’t be Ms Lusardi unless she has had a breast reduction, but shortly afterwards the unsuspecting celebrity came over to speak to Sally and to complement her on her outfit (including the customised Primarni boots)!
We had to dash off, which Ms Lusardi was quite disappointed about, though she did happen to mention that she was appearing in panto in Northwich. Sally googled Linda Lusardi and found out that she was indeed in panto, but that was last year in Gravesend. However, the ever resourceful Lady M then googled Northwich panto and came up with Vicky Michelle, aka Yvette from Allo Allo! An easy mistake to make!
November 25, 2017 by Michael Madden
Cabbages And Kings
“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
Of cabbages and kings.”
“The Walrus And The Carpenter” from Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll
…and there are genuinely a cabbage and a king in this edition.
First, the king. The king of New Orleans, the king of Boogie Woogie piano. Fats Domino sadly passed away recently, and I can say that I was privileged to meet the great man on one memorable occasion.
It was in Sheffield when he topped the bill that also contained Chuck Berry and Little Richard. Fats had to cut short his appearance due to ill health, and as we knew his drummer, Ernest Fontenot, we went backstage to meet the band. Fats was in his dressing room surrounded by management, but Ernest ushered us in. It was a surreal moment to meet this superstar sat in front of his star mirror and clearly ill at ease with himself. Sally, being a nurse, asked to see his medication, and there was a lot. She warned that some of what he was taking would be ineffective when taken with other stuff that he was taking. She urged him to go to the hospital. His management said he just needed a rest and would be ok in the morning. He asked my opinion, so I told him that if we left it was clear that his management company would not take him, so it was probably best that he got checked out. So, we went to Sheffield general hospital and that proved to be the end of the tour. Fats survived another 22 years, and maybe in part due to our intervention (see report below). He was really grateful that Sally took him in to the hospital and spoke in medical terms to the doctors and nurses, whilst we hung out in his stretch limo!
A couple of years later we were due to meet him again, but shortly after our arrival in The Big Easy he suffered a family bereavement, so we had to content ourselves with a treasured snapshot outside his house.
RIP Fats.
Its been a busy time in the kitchen, with gingerbread biscuits, flapjacks, chocolate digestives and orange cheesecake with a pomegranate and passion fruit medley. Sally has been busily snapping these as they could all end up in the upcoming and illustrated Mmm…No2…Cookbook.
Another great success has been sweetcorn relish. Commonly found on kebabs, this is a much healthier and very tasty version, with a bit of a chilli kick!
Ole has had a few problems at college, and it all began with a trip to Leeds.
“Dad, Bruce has paid £6 for his train ticket, but mine is, like, £14.50”
“Which website are you using?”
“I used Trainline but Bruce used Northern Rail. I’ll try that.”
There then followed a brief pause.
“Its still the same – but Bruce said he did it on the app. I’ll download the app.”
There was another brief pause.
“It’s still the same. Should I ring them?”
“No. If that’s the price then that’s what you will have to pay.”
There was another brief pause.
“Ah. Bruce now says he paid £14.50. So I’ll pay that.”
The transaction went through and off he went. A day or so later I checked his account (believe me, if I didn’t check it he would soon be penniless). There was the Trainline transaction, but it was for £29. I realised what had happened.
“You’ve paid for your Leeds trip twice.”
“How do you know?”
“I’m a dad. That’s my job.”
“What should I do?”
“Well you should go to the train station to get a refund. They might refund it as it is obvious that you did it by accident.”
Fortunately, Northern Rail must be used to dealing with teenagers who really shouldn’t be allowed out on their own, and they refunded the full £14.50,
Next up it was time for Ole to return home. He even managed to bring his washing with him. Bruce hadn’t gone home, but he was the victim of one of Ole’s pranks, as evidenced by Ole laughing down the phone at him. Ole explained what happened.
“I hid a cabbage amongst his clothes. He’s just found it.”
“What were you doing with a cabbage?”
“I thought it was a lettuce when I bought it. I don’t like cabbages so I hid it in Bruce’s clothes.
Autumn can be a miserable time, filled with wet weather, wet leaves and increasing darkness. However, there is always Halloween. Lots of people don’t get it, and are even resentful of the American influence that brightens up this dire time. Well I love it. If I had time I would build my own scary maze in the garden. We’ve already got holograms that are projected onto the garage wall. That might explain why we don’t get many visitors. Anyway, its also an excuse to roll out the pumpkins. There’s the carving of course, but there’s also pumpkin pie (with a new ginger biscuit base), and pumpkin soup. I tried pumpkin muffins again, and they weren’t great. I remember trying them once before and they weren’t great then either, Maybe its time to move on!
Another great tradition at this time of year is Bonfire Night. Ole looked at the space between the garage and the railway line, and it took him more than a moment to realise that the garden shed had gone missing. It was rotting away, so I dismantled it and made what is possibly the best bonfire ever!
I ran a second promotion on Elvis Under The Covers, and it made the top 100 of all free Kindle books, it hit number 4 of all free non-fiction books, and it reached number 1 in the free music books category. Taylor Swift must have been looking up enviously!
And speaking of Zac, not much to report recently, well except that one occasion when he went quiet. He was supposed to be upstairs keeping an eye on the bath that he was filling. Unfortunately his X-Box game demanded more attention, and we only suspected that something might be wrong when we saw water dripping from the ceiling downstairs. It seemed quite serious and Zac was given a stiff talking too. Sally scolded him and said that Ole had done the same thing a few years earlier. That perked him up again as he asked, ‘Was my flood worse than Ole’s?’
Had some fun in Manchester over the last few weeks, with three sets of students from MMU working on my projects. The first is a continuation of last year’s project to build a tool that detects broken websites. The second is to rebuild the ill-fated Tideswell Male Voice Choir’s website, and the third is to create an automatic cookie policy generator, a tool that will be particularly useful when the GDPR comes into force in 2018! I will let you know how they get on – it could be a busy few months.
Our latest Sunday lunch was at The Swan in Kettleshulme, and as expected it was the best yet. Roast beef that just fell apart, and a good selection of vegetables. The gravy was a little thin, but they would probably thicken it up if we had asked. Be warned, the chocolate torte is extremely intense!
Last Thursday was Thanksgiving, another great American tradition that hasn’t caught on over here. However, it is an excuse to meet up with friends and catch three consecutive NFL games. So, after a business meeting in central London I checked into an Airbnb apartment in Soho. Much more spacious than an equivalent hotel room, and better value. I headed for the Haymarket and Riley’s Sports Bar, and their coffee machine was broken. So, I had my first pint at 5.30pm, with 10 hours of football ahead. Nachos and wings were the order of the day, and several more beers and vodka. We finished off at the casino, having virtually missed the third game, but we watched some cricket instead. Then there was the trek through the seedier parts of Soho to get back, and it made me wonder why there are still adult video shops? They must be a front for something else! So I got to bed around 4, and was up and on my way home by 10. Am I getting too old for this? Well it only took 2 Anadin and a bottle of Lucozade to get me home, so I’m looking forward to a similar event during the play offs!
Finally, we were rudely awoken by a loud screeching the other night. Suspecting foul play or an attack on our cat, Sally leapt out of bed and went to the rear window. Nothing, She went to the front window. Still nothing. So, she closed all the doors so that if the noise continued we would not be able to hear it. An hour or so later I was half asleep when I got up for work. To be honest, I don’t really wake up until I’m at least an hour into my car journey! Anyway, I was in the bathroom and there was that noise again. Only this time it was clear where it was coming from. At 6am, Sally had her laptop open playing clips of a barn owl. She conclusively decided that it was a barn owl that we had heard in the night and not, as I suspected, a screech owl. I made a mental note to try to catch up on my sleep at some point!
September 29, 2017 by Michael Madden
The US, student finance and Three Customer Service – the world’s gone mad
Well – I am going to start by saying that the USA has officially lost it. I have been following their politics since the election, and it is clear that they just can’t get on with each other. The right says one thing and the left, to a man, are up in arms, and vice versa. There is no bipartisan middle ground. The latest saga is about NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. The president said they should be fired for disrespecting the flag. He even went so far as to call them sons of bitches. Hardly presidential, but that level of entertainment is what we have come to expect from the leader of the free world. So then the Democrats went after him. First amendment, draft dodger, its their right, etc. Then the Republicans fought back. Overpaid millionaires, they should remember who pays their wages (actually those last two could equally be applied to Trump!). They cited Antonio Cromartie as proof because he got sacked for disrespecting the anthem like it just happened, but that was a year ago. Not to be outdone, the Dems photoshopped a picture of Trump not saluting the flag and the senate not standing (ok – this was real but it wasn’t the actual senate – just New York). Then there are the consipracy theorists who think that every time the Russia investigation gets close the president uses diversionary tactics, and the NFL was certainly a huge diversion. In the meantime, a hurricane hit Puerto Rico with disastrous consequences for the 3.5m Americans living there and Trump has certainly paid more attention to the NFL than to that humanitarian crisis. However, that is just based on Twitter – I don’t profess to know what he is doing behind the scenes! And that is kind of the point – there is so much spin from both sides that it is impossible to tell what is real. One thing is for sure, as a soap opera its much better than Corrie or Eastenders!
The junior football season has started, and it is quite a relief that there is just the one game to worry about each weekend. Of course, with Zac involved there is always entertainment, and in a recent drubbing he had two hands on the ball when the opposing striker kicked it off him and passed to a teammate who scored. Zac went into full on tantrum mode, pounding the floor and telling the referee in no uncertain terms that he had both hands on the ball. A short time later he collected the ball, held it above his head and shouted, ‘Look – two hands’. Fortunately the somewhat ageing ref was looking the other way, otherwise a red card might have appeared. Afterwards Zac was unrepentant. ‘How is he even allowed to ref? He is senile.’ He has a lot to learn and it could be a long season!
Meanwhile, the cricket season came to a predictably damp end, though the seconds actually managed to fit a game in which kept us out of the pub until 7pm. Russell’s reasonably accomplished ukele playing was rather harshly ridiculed, but I don’t think that will deter him!
The first review of Elvis Under The Covers appeared on Amazon, and its quite a good one. Mr Palmer obviously has taste…Great read for anyone interested in Elvis or the history of the music business. Very thorough and great insight with the use of interviews with the people who have covered Elvis song through the years. I love this book!
August 15, 2017 by Michael Madden
Elvis Launched And A Case Of Mistaken Identity
I must start with the news that my latest book, Elvis Under The Covers, is now on sale. The publishing process was remarkably easy – 2 days before launch I didn’t have a Kindle version – but that ended up going on sale first. If you order a printed copy it doesn’t exist today but it can be delivered to your door tomorrow!
Tomorrow is the 16th August, the 40th Anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley, and the official launch of the book. I have radio interviews on Ex-Pat Radio at 8am, BBC Radio Sheffield at 1pm and Oldham Community Radio at 9pm.
The Ex-Pat session features Mindi Miller, one of Elvis’s ex girlfriends, which should make it interesting. It also involves Laraine Bashford of AceClubElvis, the official European Elvis fan club, and Dave Hailwood who runs Ex-Pat Radio, and who is, coincidentally, from Sale. Laraine and Dave have been a great help with the promotion.
This is driving me nuts – the D on my keyboard only works intermittently so I have to go back and retype it. New PC on its way!
Back to the book…
You can win a signed copy here…
Win a signed copy of Elvis Under The Covers
Or you can buy a copy here
Elvis Under The Covers on Amazon.co.uk
Elvis Under The Covers on Amazon.com
It is also available on all other Amazon sites worldwide, in both printed form and on Kindle.
As a result of this publication I have developed some great email / Facebook friendships with several of the artists, including Sofai, Kenny Vance, Mary Coughlan, Jacen Bruce and, of course, Suzi Quatro.
I’ll let you know if any of them come round for tea!
Ole survived his first lads holiday that incorporated his 18th birthday, though it wasn’t all plain sailing when he got home. His mum opened his case and didn’t recognise the contents. ‘Are these Bruce’s?’ she asked. A bleary eyed Ole had to admit that no they were not Bruce’s, and neither was anything else in the case. They belonged to some poor chap from Huddersfield, as Ole had picked up the wrong case. There then followed a hasty trek back to the airport where the right case had fortunately been left untouched. The chap from Huddersfield had clearly had the good sense to check the contents before leaving the airport.
I made Brownies – but they didn’t last very long!
Have you been watching the athletics? The IAAF world championships have been compelling viewing on BBC 1, and at one point we thought that even Zac had developed an interest. No, it was a different competition. He wanted to watch one of his YouTube friends who was competing in the World Dwarf Games in Canada, and he was particularly keen on the basketball. I managed to find it on a live stream, but the quality of neither the stream nor the basketball was anything like that at the London Stadium.
We managed to spend 3 days in Spain towards the end of July, in a beautiful villa close to Girona.
Had a very expensive lunch at a beach side restaurant and a really nice day at a vineyard and small restaurant that opened just for us.
The speciality of the restaurant was squid ink paella. It looked aweseome, but I have to say that I preferred my own! Really must get that second cookbook finished!
The YNot festival was a well publicised disaster, and Ole was fuming when he had to return early. He compared it to last year at Leeds where conditions and weather were worse, but the festival coped much better. On the plus side he was looking forward to his 50% refund, until I pointed out that he hadn’t actually paid for his ticket as yet!
Summer holidays and a commitment from Zac to get fit. He said he was going to walk to the cricket ground every day. He did it twice. We have no idea why but we suspect its not to get fit. I checked my keys to the tuck shop and they are still on my key ring. Any thoughts?
Finally, I have brought my website up to some sort of date spurred on by an interview with Kirk Fletcher for Leek Blues & Moorlands Americana Festival. Interesting chap is Kirk, he recently played with Joe Bonamassa. Looking forward to catching up with him at Leek at the end of September.
Oh, one more thing – good luck to Clive Ashton and his new venture at The Wellington Inn in Leek. Look forward to catching up with him soon too.
July 13, 2017 by Michael Madden
Me and Suzi Quatro!
Just a quick update for now as I’m very busy with the launch of Elvis Under The Covers in August to coincide with the 40th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley.
Well, we might as well start there. The big news is that the foreword is being written by Suzi Quatro. Yes I know, unbelievable isn’t it? I emailed her for a quote, and she kindly responded saying if there was anything else she would be happy to help. So I asked, and she provided. She also wants a copy of the book, naturally enough, so she sent me her address too. Having watched her perform 48 Crash, Can The Can and Devil Gate Drive when I was an impressionable boy in the 1970s, I hope she wears that black leather suit when I deliver her copy!
Of course, Mike Sanchez is still playing a prominent role, and he has provided his rock and roll reflections that have been included in full.
However, I was delighted by the range of artists who have also sent their quotes for the book. These include Queen Of Rockabilly Wanda Jackson, Country Music star Tanya Tucker, Eddi Reader, Chris Spedding, Danny B. Harvey, Stella Parton (Dolly’s sister), and loads more. Last Sunday I did an interview with Kenny Vance whose band opened the first American shows for The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.
But it’s not all rock and roll! Today I have been working with my very talented artist and cover designer Hollie Crankshaw.
The first physical copy of the book arrived earlier this week – containing a stock photo. Hollie is working on her own design with the names of some of the artists involved written across the image.
Zac is counting down the days until the summer holidays, and he now has a new way of evaluating how good a day or a lesson will be. Its all about the position and situation. The best position is the back row and the best situation is in the far corner!
Apparently I am being lined up for some kind of food exchange. Louise sent Sally home with a baked egg custard last week, with the unspoken understanding that I would provide something in return! Sally could have made something, but Louise said no. She wanted paella or some such dish. Anyway, I made a syrup sponge pudding but it all got eaten!
And speaking of travel, Ryanair paid their compensation promptly after our Italy trip. Not so Expedia. Their refund hadn’t appeared so I contacted them. They rang me back and said due to a technical fault the payment had not gone through but they would see to it immediately. Two weeks later I called again. They said there had been a technical fault so the payment had not gone through but they would sort it out immediately. I then got an email stating it would take up to 15 days to process the payment. 15 DAYS! It took less time than that when we had to process cheques.
‘Gary’s got a great big horn,’ Sally said one day as we were driving to Macclesfield. There was no lead up to this, in fact very little conversation at all up to that point. I looked at her in puzzlement. She pointed out of the window. ‘That house over there looks like the one that Gary is doing up at the moment, and I remember speaking to him the other day. He told me he’d got a great big horn that cost £15,000.’ These unspoken connections rattled around her head in perfect and full conversation, unfortunately it was only the last sentence that I received and yet I was fully expected to respond and join in. Anyone else get this?
Sunday lunch at the Bull I Thorn last weekend – only because the Royal Oak was full. We didn’t know there was a VW rally on at the time, and they didn’t tell us when we rang to book the table, but no matter! We walked in and there was a queue a the bar which is not surprising as everything is done through the bar. We were pointed at a table and in the direction of the menus, then I ordered drinks. These were served in plastic glasses because of the festival, even though we were clearly sitting down at a pre-booked table. After two requests Sally got hers transferred to a proper glass, much to the embarrassment of Ole and Zac, and when the queue at the bar finally died down I ordered food. Zac’s sausage and chips were ok, nothing better than that. Ole loved his Steak & Ale pie with chips and peas. Sally and I both ordered roast beef dinners and they were great. Plenty of meat, new and roast potatoes, and vegetables served separately. A Yorkshire pudding was included, as was stuffing, something I wouldn’t normally associate with beef! Anyway, the stuffing wasn’t that good so we left it, but the rest of the meal was certainly worth an 8 out of 10. Probably won’t go back, especially if there is a festival on!
An odd conversation occurred the other night when we talking about horseshit. Apparently there’s no law for horse owners to pick up their horses’s crap as there is for dogs. One horse owner sat looking at her steed’s steaming pile and said, ‘It won’t do you any harm. Horses are vegetarians.’ Anyway, Amanda, a vegetarian friend, replied, ‘Just like me!’ in answer to the horse poo problem. I am not quite sure what she was suggesting! Having fallen in a slurry pit as a kid I can assure you that the vegetarian nature of the beast does not make an experience like this any more pleasant! And whilst on the subject of horses, apparently horse air bags are a thing. The rider connects them up when they get on, and must remember to disconnect them before they get off, otherwise….