January 23, 2025 by Mike Madden

I Don’t Like Mondays

Working Nine To Five

News on the job front – Ole has now passed his probation period at Sky and so is allowed to work from home. This is getting quite expensive for us, as at his office he goes to Subway or Greggs for lunch, but at home he goes to the fridge. The same happens on his morning and afternoon breaks. I’m thinking of getting a vending machine installed in the kitchen.

Meanwhile, my Dutch adventure is not going particularly well. Its making a profit, but it is a pain in the arse. So, I am trying to simplify it with a view to maybe ending the whole thing. My first step was to end the appointment of my Dutch director. I am looking for an alternative, but if one cannot be found that will just force me to close the business anyway. All of my contracts expire in March anyway, and although renewals will be offered, this would be an opportune time to step aside.

You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen…

The Christmas kitchen has been as busy as ever, with the staple chocolate log making an appearance. This was a little later than normal so that Zac would not eat it all before the big day.

Festive chocolate log

The Creole cake was finished, and Sally added her usual artistic touches. 

Creole Cake 2024

Lasagne was another success, made with turkey mince and lots of cheese, and then there was a new recipe.

Every year we have a panettone, but I can never remember actually eating one. So, I saw Rachel Allen use one on her “Bake” series, basically making it into a pudding filled with ricotta, cocoa and a few other things. I decided to give it a go myself, and the end result of Zucotto di panettone was delicious. It was compared to rum and raisin ice cream, and a giant chocolate eclair. It will definitely be made again, maybe in time for Easter.

Zucotto Di Panettone after 24 hours…

…topped with cocoa…

…sliced and devoured

Away from Christmas I gave home-made fish & chips another outing, although I did not have time to create the mushy peas so common or garden had to do.

 

Home-made chip shop fish

Storm Of The Week

Yet another Storm Of The Century hit Whaley Bridge recently, that’s probably the fifth since the millennium. I still think its a bit early to be calling anything “…Of The Century”, but the weathermen in particular insist. This one brought extensive flooding to the area, quickly followed by heavy snow.

How high’s the water momma?

The BBC and Sky came to the village looking for a news story, the first time the press had descended on Whaley Bridge since the infamous dam incident.

Temperatures dropped, meaning the thaw was delayed. Footpaths were literally ice sheets, and we had a burst pipe in the garage.

Snowy Whaley Bridge

However, this gave plenty of opportunity for crisp winter walks across the frozen fields to Buxworth, and a nice stroll up to Solomon’s Temple with the grandkids to blow away the cobwebs. Well, the grandkids made it all the way to the temple, we stayed at the bottom of the final hill to get our breath back. 

Sending the grandkids to Solomon’s Temple

The storm meant that our planned New Year’s Eve bonfire was a damp squib, but we had one a few days later, and then Sally decided on another in early January. I’m not quite sure she built it properly!

Not quite Bear Grylls

Brothers In Pyjamas

Damage from the storm was widespread, and it destroyed one of our fence panels. We got another delivered, and I painted it with wood preserving stain, but it would still be tricky to get it into place. A branch had grown over the gap since the previous installation, so I had to get a saw and cut that off. It was turning into a project, but help was at hand. Ole and Zac decided that they would finish the job.

To be fair they did complete it. It was upside down and back to front, and I’m not sure health & safety would have approved of their uniforms. The right hand side had a significant gap to the stone frame, and they started knocking it down with a hammer. This would have significantly damaged the panel, so I stepped in and raised the frame. The job was done, but I am now concerned that the next panel along is showing signs of wear and tear!

Driving Home For Christmas

Christmas Eve used to be a stressful time, making sure all of the presents are accounted for and wrapped, but now that the kids are grown up it is a lot more relaxed. Except this year! Ole was playing football in Marple, but his car would not work. That’s unfortunate, finding out that your car won’t start on Christmas Eve, but that was not actually the case. He found out a few days earlier, but decided to do precisely nothing about it. So, Sally had a go at starting his car with jump leads, but to no avail. It was completely dead. He had not left any lights on, or radio blaring. It was a mystery.

Beat The Clock

Fortunately we have RAC cover, so I called them. I picked up Ole from his football, confident that the repair man was on his way. I guess I should have expected a wide variety of possible arrival times, from 2pm to 8pm, then 5pm, 10pm, and so on. This was disturbing as I had a must not miss appointment, at the Drum & Monkey, at 3.30pm.

Eventually the guy turned up just after 3. I thought that it would be a long job, but not so. He connected the battery to his vehicle, and seconds later Ole’s car sprang into life. I told him that Sally and Ole had tried to jump start it earlier, and he simply said that they had not been doing it properly. He also said that Ole had left the lights on which had killed the battery. He refused to sell us a new battery, as the existing one was under warranty and his batteries were too expensive. The mechanic was brilliant, just doing his job and not trying to rip anyone off, all on Christmas Eve. It was a Christmas miracle that enabled me to to get some well deserved me time just 10 minutes later than planned.

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day

We had a wonderful Christmas. Sally stayed in bed until 7am, which is two hours later than normal, and we fell back into bed much later than previous years, mainly due to something called “Gavin & Stacey”.

The cats also enjoyed their Christmas – with Bo attacking the feather and Thomas taking the more fundamental approach of disabling the base.

Monday Morning Blues

New year came and went, and one morning Sally shot out of bed in a panic. She quickly dressed, and muttered something about a car service. By this time all of the lights were on and I was awake, without my customary early morning coffee.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I’m late. My car is going in for a service this morning and I’m supposed to have already dropped it off,” she replied.

“Car service? On a Sunday?” I asked.

“Sunday? Its Monday,” she said.

“No it isn’t,” I said, and after clarifying the situation we did indeed agree that it was Sunday. So now she was in the wrong clothes for her normal Sunday activity of horse riding. And guess who’s fault it was.

“Its all your fault,” she said. “You were watching American Football last night and you normally do that on Sundays!”

Road To Nowhere

Zac decided that he was going to the Lake District with some friends. With his health scare fresh in the memory Sally wanted to know exactly where and when he was going, and the locations of all hospitals in the area. Zac either did not know or refused to say, but shortly after he set off she managed to track him on Snapchat. I can’t help thinking that that particular avenue may be closed by Zac in the near future. He did insist on Sally frequently asking him the question “Have you packed….?” using random items. This was so that he did not forget anything.

I Hear You Knocking…

While he was away Sally decided to clean his room, despite his pleas not to. Amongst the debris was a pizza box containing a bowl that had an unknown brown substance in it. The bowl was some sort of pottery, and so noxious was the substance that it had permeated right through to the underside of it.

In one drawer there was a mountain of socks. I paired them for him, and threw away a considerable number of odd ones. The following day another draw was emptied, and in it was another mountain of socks, many of which could have been paired with those already discarded.

Zac was fuming when he returned, and it looked for a while like World War 3 would break out. However, things seem to calm down, and then Zac set about rearranging and tidying his room himself. He did a fantastic job, the question now is “Can he keep it that way?”

Here Comes The Sun

Percy’s Daydream and Star Of Lady M have just resumed training after their winter break. Unfortunately the racing programme has not yet been released beyond the end of March, so it is difficult to plan anything for Percy’s Daydream.

Star Of Lady M’s season should be a lot more predictable, with the Palace House Stakes at Newmarket the initial target. There should then be a race every three or four weeks up until the Nunthorpe at York in August. David O’Meara is happy to send her straight to the Palace House, but he is also not against a prep race if one can be found.

As Easter is late this year that is not particularly easy. The only handicap we could consider is at Musselburgh, but just two weeks before the Newmarket race. The Listed race at Bath has been moved from Friday to Sunday, leaving just a 13 day gap. Our only option might be the Abernant also at Newmarket, which would give us a 16 day gap. It is six furlongs and a tough course, so the ground would have to be on the quick side for us to consider that.

Meanwhile, she has clearly become the face of ITV Racing. Her image has been used against previews of The Opening Show, and on ITVX. I don’t recall agreeing to image rights for those!

I’m Looking For My Wife

December 22, 2024 by Mike Madden

I’m Looking For My Wife

Viva Las Vegas

We finally made it to Vegas! After months of planning, and at least one last minute major surprise, we left Manchester Airport on 18th October, the day that Zac turned 21. Sally and myself turned left, whilst the kids were in Premium Economy where they could complain about service and food blissfully out of our earshot.

Trouble in Premium Economy

Stuck In The Middle With You

The time difference is brutal, a full eight hours, and I did not expect a late one on that first night. We jumped in a couple of cabs and got to the MGM Mandalay Bay hotel, where check-in was quick and easy. Unlike the lifts. Sally wanted to get on with things, so she jumped in the lift with Ole and Zac, and off they went up to floor 10. Unfortunately, our room was on floor 4. In many hotels that would not be a problem, but in the Mandalay Bay the lifts are activated by room cards, and they will only stop either on the ground floor, or the floor of the room card. So, Sally could not get back down to floor 4, and I could not go to collect her at floor 10. To make matters worse we had not yet connected tho the hotel wifi.

The Ups And Downs Of 30 Years

I stood with Gabi outside the lifts when a maintenance man appeared. “Are you looking for your room?” he asked. “No,” I replied “I’m looking for my wife!” He laughed and went on his way. I went down to the ground floor, and fortunately Sally had the same idea (that’s what 30 years of marriage does for you), and we were reunited. She had been asking various strangers if they were going to the fourth floor, and was quite relieved when I came along.

We met some American friends in the casino area, where the Sportsbook was magnificent. This consisted of a bar, extensive seating, and a huge bank of television screens showing almost every sporting event from around the world.

American Pie

For now, though, food was a necessity. We were all getting tired and we were all getting hungry, so we found an Italian restaurant where mountains of food were ordered. It has been a while since we visited the US, and we must have forgotten just how big portions are. There were four full boxes of takeaway boxes when we finally finished.

Breakfast In America

The following morning we were all up early, and when in Rome (or Vegas, or anywhere in the US), breakfast means Denny’s. There were two Denny’s within walking distance of our hotel, and one was “just around the corner”. There was a walkway through the Excalibur and Luxor hotels, and after that we just needed to turn right. However, another hotel had been demolished and a diversion was in place. This took us across several footbridges that spanned the main highways, and other than going through the MGM Grand there appeared to be no way to get to our destination. Of course, the good thing about Denny’s is that there is always another one. Sure enough, a few hundred yards along the street on which we found ourselves, the welcoming yellow sign could be seen.

We made our way down and ordered a selection of traditional American breakfast foods. In the next booth were a couple of strangers. One was asleep, but his friend was keen to know what we were doing in Vegas and how long we were staying. During the conversation he produced an open bottle of wine and continued to drink straight from the bottle. It was around 5am. In Las Vegas it was hard to tell whether he was just finishing a night out, or just starting another.

When in Rome…

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Zac wanted to check out the music shop a short drive from our hotel, so we booked an Uber and went down to the store. He tried keyboards, drum kits, guitars and at least one banjo, before we headed outside into the heat of the day. This was alleviated a little by a frozen yoghurt store, but although the basic ingredient was sold as being healthy, the various brightly coloured and calorie-laden toppings soon put paid to that.

   

Zac was at home in the music store

Football Mania

Saturday afternoon was a big day. In the morning, the English Premier League games were all on in the Sportsbook. I took a seat and watched United, whilst listening to Newcastle who were on the bigger screen. Sally went across to the counter to ask if they could put racing from Ascot on, and sure enough there it was.

As the day wore on many Americans were filling in little slips of paper. I discovered this was to bet on the College Football that would fill the screens later in the day. It was like going back to the 1980s in an English betting shop. Once the games started it was a proper addiction. As soon as one result looked like going against them they placed another bet. If their current bet looked like winning they placed another bet. If the action got a bit boring in one game they placed another bet. All on little slips of paper.

We decided that Sunday would be very busy so we got there early and sat in the bar area. “Minimum 2 drinks per person” a sign on the table read, but I wondered who would sit watching nine hours of American football and have less than 2 drinks.

Every NFL game was available, all at the same time. Im not sure that this actually enhanced the experience, but it was certainly a spectacle. Soon enough it was time to go for the other big event of the day, Gabi and Ciaran’s wedding!

Going To The Chapel

Most of the girls got ready in our room, which was disconcerting as I tried to have a bath in peace. When the time came we all went down to reception, where a limo waited to take us to “Vegas Weddings” downtown. It was not actually as tacky as I thought it would be, enhanced by the fact that neither Elvis nor Britney made an appearance.

A tasteful wedding

The ceremony was respectful and quick, then we headed for the bizarre area of Vegas known as Fremont Street. We had some marvellous sandwiches at Fat Sal’s an establishment that was clearly proud of being included in an episode of Diner’s Drive-Ins & Dives, as they played the episode on loop constantly. Those who ought to know better descended into tequila slammers, whilst those of us who do know better settled for beers and soft drinks. Zac sussed out the poker tournaments, but eventually decided that he could not commit to a full afternoon to fleece the American population.

Enjoying the post-wedding drinks

We returned to our hotel in a scary ride in what was almost certainly an unlicensed vehicle, but we did not really care. We were back safely! The kids kept on eating and drinking, we prepared for the remaining two days.

The Gambler

Zac had discovered a system on the “Buffalo” machines. Unfortunately there were several different kinds of Buffalo machines, all featuring different versions of buffalo stampeding, and the system seemed to be unsuccessful on all of them. Sally and myself nostalgically looked for machines with cherries and other fruity symbols. We did find some, but when we tried to play them the following night they were nowhere to be seen, almost certainly because we were either looking in the wrong part of the casino, or the wrong casino!

Twisting By The Pool

Monday was quieter, with breakfast at an Irish bar that included real sausages, fried eggs, black and white pudding and an optional pint of Guinness. We spent some time by the pool where drinks were extortionate. We worked out that a pina colada cost about $35, but of course Sally had a plan. She got some plastic cups, similar to those at the pool, and filled them with vodka purchased at a local supermarket. It was not permitted to take your own drinks into the pool area, but when you have a confident air it is easy to let the security staff assume that the drinks had actually been purchased poolside earlier in the day.

Poolside shenanigans

A Little Bit Country

Tuesday was our last day. It was also our wedding anniversary, and I had suggested Ole Red, a country and western restaurant opposite the Bellagio. Our Uber driver dropped us somewhere near, he could not get closer as there was a lot of building and scaffolding in the way. Ole Red does not take bookings, but we were fortunate to get a table within a few minutes of arriving.

The setting was magnificent. A three tiered open restaurant, with tables on all three tiers looking down on the stage. The live music included several renditions of Johnny Cash hits

Nachos filled everyone up before the mains arrived, but we did a good job of demolishing the rest of the food before taking a long and tortuous journey back via Caesar’s Palace and several other hotels.

Heads Or Tails?

Back at our hotel Sally retired for the night, but Ole and Zac had a plan. They wanted to gamble $100 each on red or black. Sally suggested we should bet on 22 as that is our anniversary, but it could easily have been 30 as that was the number of years! In the end I did not bet.

On the way to the “big bet”

Our hotel was busy and the boys were nervous, so we walked next door to the Luxor. They found a table with just one other player, but it had triple zeroes, significantly reducing the red or black odds. So they decided to hedge, with $180 on their chosen colour and $20 on any zero. But which colour?

They went through several permutations, and eventually settled on black. Zac tried to hand their cash to the croupier, but he is not allowed to take it. They have to place it on the table. Once they figured this out they then got id’ed. This took a short while as they had to wait for a pit boss, but finally it was time. Abbie sat at the table, and there was a further delay as she got id’ed. The croupier thought that she looked about 10!

You Spin Me Right Round

Ok – next spin it was. They opted for black and moved $180 to the black strip, with another $20 on green. The other player was impressed and wished them luck. The croupier called “no more bets”. He spun the wheel. He spun it rather quickly and it went round and round for an age. Zac could not look as the tension mounted. Even when the ball started to tumble towards the numbers it was still travelling too fast. It rattled and bounced, bounced and rattled. The wheel slowed, and the rattling stopped.

And there it was, nestled into Black 22! (Sorry Sally!) They had won $180, and they considered letting it ride. I convinced them otherwise and they walked away. Later in the evening they continued gambling, with Ole managing to overturn a croupier trying to cheat him out of a significant win. They lost some later on, but they had great fun and came away several hundred dollars up each. They even had time to indulge in some late night rollercoaster action at New York New York.

Happy anniversary – look what you could have won!

I fear we may have created two more customers for Gamblers Anonymous!

Double Denny’s

Our final morning began with everyone twisting my arm to head to Denny’s again. Another Irish breakfast would have to wait. We went poolside again and had a last hurrah on the slot machines to no avail. Eventually we headed to the airport, with the kids trying to think up any excuse for a return visit.

“Queen” in Las Vegas

Medical Matters

We have had a couple of medical emergencies recently, and the first of these was quite serious. Zac contracted a viral infection, and this triggered his asthma. He awoke in the middle of the night struggling to breathe, and despite Sally’s remedies he was not improving. She got him in the car and raced to Stepping Hill where he was seen quite quickly. He was given antibiotics, a nebuliser, and oxygen, and this seemed to settle him down. His cousin’s fiance Aimee was working that evening, and when he ended up on her ward rather than ICU he was quite pleased. It was chilled out, he got plenty of attention, and he was ready to settle in for the night.

I offered to let Tesco know that he would not be in, and I asked if he could contact university. He was a little concerned about losing ground on his degree course, but he said that Tesco would not be bothered!

Food Of The Gods

Unfortunately he was transferred to a respiratory ward. Here, there were too many ill people for his liking, and none of them of his age. There was a bright spot though, when Aimee contacted him to say that the staff were getting a Chinese and would he like anything? Of course he would!

He was warned about the hazards of vaping whilst he was hospitalised with breathing difficulties. I took the opportunity to tidy his room and found more than 50 vapes and related paraphernalia. There was no direct correlation between vaping and his illness, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the vapes were more than likely a contributory factor.

A few weeks later he went back for a lung test, and his improvement pleased the medical staff. On the way home Sally took him to MacDonalds where she asked him what his order was. “Chicken nuggets,” he announced, and Sally clarified that he meant a chicken nuggets meal with 6 nuggets and fries. He was a little taken aback. “No one of my age orders 6 chicken nuggets. The standard order is 20 chicken nuggets and large fries.” As it turned out the queue was too large so he had to settle for KFC chicken strips!

The Sky’s The Limit

Meanwhile, two unrelated events somehow came together. Firstly, a guy got jailed for providing illegal streams for dodgy firesticks, at roughly the same time that Sally bought me a firestick. However, before I could download any stream, illegal or otherwise, the second event occurred. This was when Ole got a job with Sky, meaning that he got Sky, including TNT Sports and Box Office, for free. It took a while to arrange over the phone, but it eliminated most of the reasons behind getting any streaming set up. Unfortunately we still cannot get Sally’s showjumping channel.

Christmas In The Kitchen

Its Christmas and so the kitchen gets busier by the day. Its certainly the festive season, with Gingerbread, shortbread and chocolate digestives all putting in an appearance. The edible eyes certainly make a difference to the gingerbread men.

 

The traditional Creole Cake has had its final feed and will be ready to decorate two days before the big one.

Creole Cake glistening with sherry

I also made a deconstructed pizza using foccacia, because the all-in-one approach usually ends up with a soggy crust. It went down well, although the toppings have to be grilled at the last minute.

Deconstructed pizza

Thomas has also found something that he likes at Christmas!

“I’ll just have one”

Free Falling

You may recall that Sally had a fall earlier in the year, and she vowed that when she got back on her horse she would not do any more jumping. Well, she got back on her horse, did some more jumping, and had another fall. This time she was on a hunt trial, where some of the obstacles can be quite uncompromising. She may have broken a couple of ribs, but I think she is too scared to go to the doctors to get this confirmed, in case she gets a telling off!

       

It was all going so well until it wasn’t

The ending was inevitable

In The Balance

I had a trip to Wigan recently where granddaughter Nixie was competing in another prestigious gymnastics competition. She has gained so much confidence and she now comes across as the leader in her little group. While we were in Vegas she competed in Newcastle, and in both competitions she finished with one or more medals. She is ready to take the step up to the next level in the new year.

Flying Nixie

International Star

Star Of Lady M’s final outing of the season was in a Group 3 race at Dundalk in Ireland. Entries and declarations were done in the middle of the night for us as we were in Las Vegas, and although the race was draw dependent, and we got a bad draw, David was keen that we should still go for it. So, we did. The race was the day after we landed at Manchester, so it was a quick turnaround. We flew to Dublin, rented a car which is much easier in Ireland than at most other destinations, and drove an hour north. The hotel was nice, and we had a couple of drinks in the bar before our taxi arrived. The course was desolate, cold and wet, and far removed from the grandeur of York and Ayr.

Luck In Running

We met Kevin Blake who also had a runner in our race, but he was not optimistic. Our jockey, Ronan Whelan, had a reputation for riding the track well, and so tactics were left to him. Star broke well enough, and tracked the predictable leader Tees Spirit. Coming into the straight the field bunched. Star went left and right and became unbalanced, but she recovered herself to finish 6th, beaten just two and a quarter lengths.

Ronan Whelan on board at Dundalk

It was in many ways a disappointing end to her season, but she had finished 6th in a Group 3 after not getting things to go her way. The travelling was something she was not used to, and the jockey had not sat on her before. All of these factors go into her performance, and although they are not excuses, they give us confidence that she can be competitive in group races. She is now resting with her shoes off, giving her feet time to recover before heading to Newmarket in May.

Ladies In Waiting

In December we visited the O’Meara yard, taking a package of goodies. Percy’s Daydream is certainly the sweeter of our two, standing patiently whilst she was given lots of fussing. Her infection is fully cleared up, and she will be aimed at GBB maidens and novices in the early part of next season.

Star Of Lady M can be a bit of a madam, but on this occasion she was chilled out, seeking out our pockets for any treats. Unfortunately there weren’t any, but she got plenty of attention. She had a habit of losing shoes during her races, and so David put casts on her so that this would not happen. She now has no shoes on as he gives her feet time to heal. Horses can be unpredictable, and there is no guarantee that she will reach the heady heights of 2024, but she will hopefully start her 2025 campaign at Newmarket in May, contesting mainly Group races. Win or lose this will be her final season before she heads to Mount Coote in Ireland where she will become a broodmare.

Percy’s Daydream looking glamorous

Star Of Lady M looking at her grey companions

Looking very different in her winter coat

You can read the previous edition here

http://www.michael-madden.co.uk/2024/10/15/the-brightest-star/

January 8, 2024 by Mike Madden

Thud! Cake

“Bruce, Bruce, Bruce!”

There are times when I shake my head in disbelief, and when Sally decided to recreate her (in)famous Bogtrotter Cake this was another such instance. The occasion was Archie’s school play. The production was Matilda, and Archie was to play Bruce Bogtrotter. Bruce is famous for eating an entire chocolate cake, and Sally decided that her Bogtrotter cake was just what he needed. So, I retrieved my large mixing bowl from the cookhouse. Normally this would be used to bake copious amounts of Ciabatta, but on this occasion it would serve to hold the batter for Sally’s cake.

She started off in what looked like a scene from Fantasia, with Mickey Mouse orchestrating various kitchen objects, and ended more like The Cat In The Hat and the Kupcake-inator. However, this cake would definitely not fit in a cup. The science of baking went out of the window as flour, eggs, sugar, butter, cocoa and maybe a few other ingredients were mixed in the rapidly filling bowl. Too runny? Add more flour. Too stiff? Add more eggs. What could possibly go wrong?

Let Them Eat Cake

Eventually, two cake tins were lined and filled with the dark brown batter, and into the oven they went. The batter did not end there. Sally went on to make a dozen cupcakes with the remainder. I did consider telling her that proportions for cupcakes are usually different to those for large cakes, but as the thought of using a measuring implement had never crossed her mind I decided to stay quiet.

An undetermined time later the cakes were removed, and they looked magnificent. A bit like a volcano just before it blows, or the calm sea before a Tsunami hits. Sally was so pleased with her creation that she posted to all of the doubters on social media. After the cakes had cooled she constructed the final Bogtrotter version with chocolate buttercream, and it was left to sit, revelling in its magnificence until the show four days later.

Metamorphosis

Four days can be a long time in the life of a cake, particularly one which could be said to be “scientifically unstable”. It was packaged up (not in cake dome or box, it was too big for that), and off it went for the post-show celebrations. Ole and Zac accompanied Sally, and it was good that they did. The cake was almost a two-man job as it was lifted and transported into the hall.

Things That Go Thud In The Night

I have independent witnesses who all used the exact same word when describing what happened next. The cake was lowered onto a table with a Thud! The “Thud” was so loud that it silenced the room as everyone turned to see what had happened. Many suspected an accident, or perhaps something had fallen from a great height. No, this was the Bogtrotter Cake.

At this point it could still be called “magnificent”, at least by Sally, and as the wrapping was removed the weight was still the only cause for alarm. However, when it came to cutting into the cake there was another problem. The icing, and indeed much of the cake itself, had solidified. A simple kitchen knife would simply not do, and at one point the gathered throng considered contacting the woodwork department for a saw.

Holes beginning to appear

Finally, the outer layer was breached, and further problems became evident. The cake was so heavy that large parts of it had sunk. Internal holes were visible, surrounded by heavily concentrated and obviously dry concrete-like structures of chocolate cake. A few brave souls munched on it, but the majority of the cake returned home. Even the self-confessed chocolate cake fiend Zac would not touch it.

Collapsing under its own weight

Like birthday cards and Christmas trees I gave it a few days before consigning it to the bin, despite protests from Sally that she might have wanted to give it to the birds! I almost rang the RSPCA, I was already a little worried that it might do some damage to Waterswallows. I took the opportunity to get rid of the cupcakes too. As the cocoa dust settled I made sure that I had some photos “lest we forget”!

Kitchen Creations

I seem to have been very busy in the kitchen, starting with one of my favourites, Festival Gateau. I can remember having this as a child, and until recently Morrisons used to sell them. However, apart from having to be careful with the construction they are actually quite easy to make.

Festival gateau – layers of cream, custard and sponge surrounded by a marzipan dome

Festival gateau uses a lot of egg yolks in the custard, so I needed something that would use the egg whites. Raspberry Pavlova did the trick.

Raspberry Pavlova

I tried my hand at corn dogs. These just seemed like an unhealthy way to eat sausages even though they were baked rather than deep fried. The kids enjoyed them – but I’m not sure I will make them again.

Corn dogs

Rice dishes are always popular with the boys, and paella is a common creation. To add some variety I made biryani with chicken which went down well, but there was a clear favourite. Taken from Mmm…No1…Cookbook, Jambalaya is not only a great song its a great dish too! Tesco in Whaley Bridge now sell all manner of sausages, so I opted for chorizo, a spiced salami and Catalan fuet. It was so good I made it twice! I also used a similar combination to make a meaty and spicy paella.

Spicy paella

Breaking Bread

As you know I retrieved my giant mixing bowl for the Thud! cake, and whilst it was out I made use of it. Ciabatta is very satisfying to make, especially if the bread is properly aerated with a crusty exterior. I made individual buns rather than larger loaves, and they disappeared in no time.

Ciabatta

Its Beginning To Look A Lot Like…

Despite the success of the savoury dishes, its the sweet treats that are undoubtedly the most popular. I repeated my success with Pastel De Nata, and a pre-Christmas chocolate log has now become tradition. Two batches of gingerbread men, Christmas trees, hearts, etc were almost gone before they could be decorated.

Run, run, as fast as you can

However, I decided that I would make my own gingerbread house instead of buying an inedible kit. It went quite well, although the construction was somewhat tricky. The roof was a significant challenge, but cola strips and matchmakers seemed to do the trick. As with all things Christmassy, a sprinkle of icing sugar can hide a multitude of sins.

11 Walters Wood

In the past we have had issues with burglars in Whaley Bridge, particularly at this time of year. My gingerbread house was not immune from this, and the path started to disappear as soon as it was finished!

Happy Thanksgiving

To celebrate Thanksgiving I tried my hand at Mississippi Mud Pie. Very sticky and sweet – another that may not get a second try!

Mississippi Mud Pie

Nutella Dodgers

Chocolate digestives never last very long, although with Ole being away I thought I had a chance. Not so, and the second batch, with a chocolate base, is almost down to crumbs.

Another biscuit I decided to try was Nutella shortbread sandwich, using my pastry cutters to make them look pretty! Zac is not a fan of shortbread, but Ole is!

Nutella Shortbread Sandwiches

Festive Food

The run up to Christmas is always busy, but perhaps the most important job is to put the final dose of Cointreau into the Creole Cake!

A couple of days later it was time to cover the cake with home made almond paste before baking it again in the oven.

Once ALL of the cooking is out of the way I can leave it to Sally to add the finishing decorative touches.

Although Zac would maintain that the Christmas Log is the most important festive creation.

Christmas pudding has become a spectacular part of the festive season – and this year I got Zac to film the final flaming event!

Birthday Balloons

You might think that 20 is too old to have balloons on your birthday, but Sally decided that Zac’s 20th would be celebrated in the traditional way. So, on her way out of the supermarket she suddenly remembered “balloons”, and grabbed a couple of packets. On the eve of the big day I was tasked with blowing them up, and I was a little surprised to see “21 Today” emblazoned across the surface. Undeterred, I still had the second packet to fall back on. Unfortunately, the 8th birthday message was even less appropriate!

Cat Capers

Bo seems increasingly used to having Thomas around the place. There is a lot of play fighting between them, and Thomas does occasionally get quite brave. However, Bo will always have the last swipe just to let him know who is boss.

The ears are a bit of a giveaway

With it being close to Christmas there are a lot of boxes that the pair of them use for hiding, sleeping or playing in. Thomas has also discovered that there is a bowl on the kitchen windowsill that is just his size.

He’s also been outside exploring – but he had to be rescued from this predicament.

Can you get me down please?

Bo has also been using the boxes to avoid her new friend.

But Thomas can be determined.

Though really they are best buddies!

Thomas has been having his injections and check ups, and when I mentioned to Ole that I had taken him to the vet in Chapel he was a little confused. “I didn’t even know there was a vet in Chapel,” he said, “or did you just take him to the doctors?”

A Christmas Special

There were more creatures involved when Ole’s long awaited appearance in the Christmas Special of All Creatures Great And Small was finally aired. There was a concern that many of his scenes might have been cut but this was not the case. He appeared several times, and was second only to James Herriott in the credits! We look forward to a busy 2024.

Another Sunday Lunch

We managed to fit in another Sunday lunch in October, to celebrate our wedding anniversary. We had heard good reports of the Old Hall in Chinley, so we decided to give it a try. With lifts there and back we could enjoy the atmosphere and a bottle of wine before our meal. The food was good, one of the better Sunday lunches in the area. Perhaps not quite at the Royal Oak, Hurdlow or the Barrel standard, but certainly not far behind. We will be trying it again!

Where There’s Muck…

Fiona lost her phone, and with the wizardry of modern technology she located it at Fern Farm in Buxton, where she and Sally keep their horses. They narrowed it down further, unfortunately to the muck pile. So, they set off to try to retrieve the missing phone. There was further bad news to come, as the muck pile had been scooped up and moved to Chelmorton Farm, where it no doubt joined a lot of other muck piles. Undeterred, Louise, Fiona and Sally went to the wilds of Chelmorton.

Louise and Fiona dived straight in to the muck pile, shovelling sh*t in the vain hope of retrieving the phone. However, it was Sally who proved to be most effective, praying to St Anthony as the others threw manure here and there. Lo and behold, the prayers were answered and the phone was found!

Watching The Detectives

And speaking of Sally and Fiona, they certainly dressed for the part on their recent trip to London. That is as long as the “part” was that of two lady detectives specialising in murder in country villages. Watch out for future episodes of Murder Mystery with Lady M And Baroness H. Its an intriguing series that shows what Cagney and Lacey would have been like if it was set in the Peak District. In the 1940s!

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

I got an emergency call a few days before Christmas. Santa was double booked! So, I agreed to stand in for the Pony Stars. There were a couple of dodgy moments, including when a young boy told me he’d seen me at his grandad’s pub the previous day, but overall it went well. I am NOT available for panto!

Guess who?

Happy New Year

Finally in this section, as the New Year rolls in it is always good to get out and about. Today I took in one of the many spectacular views of the Peak District.

Horses, Horses, Everywhere

I went to the sales at Tattersalls on 12th October, with a view to buying a yearling for our new syndicate MMM Racing. I was a little more successful than previously, in terms of picking horses that were also on Luke Lillingston’s list. Luke is our friend and experienced bloodstock agent. I also met Mike Curtis, a friend from Twitter and a syndicate member. By the end of the day we had looked at a lot, earmarked a few, and bid on not many at all as we were priced out of most of the lots. Undeterred, we had another day to go, but I would have to leave that to Luke as I would be at York races.

Pick Of The Parade

Towards the end of that first day we saw a chestnut filly by Sir Percy (or is it ‘chesnut’?) and Luke was blown away by her. He thought she would be out of our price range, and not a particularly precocious type, so maybe not one for the syndicate. We studied her pedigree, and although Sir Percy won the Derby as a three-year-old, he also won over six furlongs in the May of his juvenile season. So, perhaps she might race earlier than originally thought. I drove home and did not think much more about it until the following morning. Luke had four or five that we were interested in, but it would be the Sir Percy filly who was first into the sales ring.

Bring The Hammer Down

Luke asked if we wanted to bid on her, and I said ‘yes’, but without much hope. We led the bidding at 18,000 guineas, but we were approaching our budget of 20,000. There was another problem, as whilst the horse was in the ring we were travelling to York, and about to hit the notorious signal blackspot at Woodhead. The bidding reached 20k, at which point I was willing to pull out, as we had several other prospects. “Do you want to try one more?” Luke asked as the phone signal faded. “Yes,” Sally shouted from the driver’s seat. So we went to 21k, and that was that. No further bids came in, and we had our filly.

Luke would make all of the necessary arrangements, and she would be at David O’Meara’s the following morning. That would give us the opportunity to visit her on our way back from York.

There was great excitement at the O’Meara yard, with David confirming that he thought she would be a six or seven furlong type to begin with, rather than the more traditional five. That was not a problem, as she could still potentially hit the track in May.

I messaged the syndicate so that they could start to think of a name for our new purchase, but for the immediate future we had a race at Musselburgh to attend.

Star Heads North

Star Of Lady M had won at Musselburgh previously, so we were reasonably confident as we made the long journey the day before the race. Despite hitting traffic going through Manchester we made reasonable time, but we were too late for food when we reached the magnificent Carberry Tower. Thanks to Hotels.Com we were upgraded to the Bowes-Lyons suite, a room where Queen Elizabeth and Princess Margaret had told stories to their children many years ago.

The following morning we went to the beach as the early autumn weather was glorious. It was starting to get a bit chilly as we reached the course, and although the ground appeared to be quite firm the rain had obviously softened it in places.

Danny Tudhope was on board, but it made no difference as Star battled to a disappointing 5th of 10. She ran ok, better than her £244 prize money deserved, but I began to wonder if she should be put away for the winter. Maybe we should consider sending her to stud, as there had definitely been more bad days than good during the season.

Star at Musselburgh

Danny was a little more optimistic, suggesting that she might benefit from a visor. David agreed, and suggested we try the all weather courses. There were several reasons for this, including the fact that her mum had won on the all weather, and there were significant bonuses to be had.

Opportunities For The Queen

Elsewhere, Storm Babet curtailed many racing fixtures. Southwell, a likely destination for Canaria Queen, was actually under water due to the local river bursting its banks. She was declared at Redcar, but Tim decided that she needed something easier so we waited.

Meanwhile, we decided that Emerald Duchess would not recover from her broken bone, and so she would be sold as a broodmare. She was entered into the December mares sale at Tattersalls.

Star Heads South

With meetings being abandoned and other meetings scheduled at short notice, race planning became a bit of a challenge. However, we found an opportunity for Star Of Lady M at Lingfield. Danny Tudhope was again on board, but Sally did not fancy the long trip south. I stayed at the Marriott which is actually on the course, so I was close by for the following day.

Lingfield had done really well to get the fixture on at short notice, and everyone was very friendly though the crowd was sparse. Star looked well in the paddock and Danny was confident. It was her first time in a visor, first time on the all weather, and her first time around a bend since the infamous Lily Agnes at Chester, but on the positive side there were only 7 runners.

The Best Laid Plans…

She broke well and tried to track Skallywag Bay, but Skallywag’s jockey took a pull and we lost momentum on the bend. She recovered in the straight, finishing fastest of all, but could only manage third. It was a pleasing run, and one that filled us with renewed optimism. Maybe an all weather campaign was just what she needed. I thought that the bends were still a bit of a problem, but David said that would improve with experience. I set off on the long journey home and wondered how anyone could ever consider the M25 as a commuter route. Luke shared my racing optimism, and we looked forward to her next outing.

Star glad to get the visor off at Lingfield

She was dropping down the weights, and we decided to give her an entry on a cold Friday evening at Newcastle.

She’s A Red Hot Momma (Or Maybe Not)

The vote for the name of our Sir Percy filly was tense, but Red Hot Momma prevailed. David O’Meara recorded a video announcement that I shared with the syndicate, and it was well received. I sent the name to Weatherbys for approval, but there was a problem. Red Hot Momma was too phonetically similar to the broodmare Red Hot Mama and so we would have to think again.

F..F..Friday Night

Sally was away and so could not make the long trip to Newcastle, so I went alone and made it in good time. Unfortunately I missed the turn for the course and ended up on a dual carriageway. I did a u-turn at the first roundabout, coming back on the other side. I was a little alarmed that my speedo said 50mph but my satnav was telling me the limit was 20mph, so I slammed on the brakes and ignored the possibility of a ticket. The course was busy, with a funfair and fireworks planned, so there was very little time to catch up with Star before or after the race.

The temperature had dropped significantly by the time of the 8th race. David Nolan was our jockey, and he was a little concerned about our position on the far side of the course. My research told me that there should not be a particular draw bias, but on a cold night such as this there were other factors. She started as co-favourite of 3, but drifted to 7/1. Perhaps someone knew something!

David Nolan on Star Of Lady M at Newcastle

Out On Her Own

David broke well, then tried to get Star covered up. No one would let him in, and by the time he did tuck in it was too late. Our girl ran ok to dead heat for 4th, but David explained afterwards that she burnt herself out running into a strong headwind. Being drawn on the near side and being able to get behind a wall of horses would have been much better, which is exactly what the winner did. It was a reason for optimism as she picked up more prizemoney, and it made me realise just how many different factors came into play before a race could be won.

The journey home was uneventful, but as expected I got a letter through the post. Fortunately it was not a speeding ticket, instead it was a £30 charge for not paying the Tyne Tunnel toll. I consider that a win!

A Horse With No Name

The following week I went to the stable to see our Sir Percy filly. She still had no name – but she looked magnificent.

We also saw Star Of Lady M who looked like she was ready to race again.

Dancing At Wolves

We made another entry for Newcastle, but decided against it. Instead we had options at Chelmsford and Wolverhampton over six furlongs. The prospect of six was intriguing, and we opted for that. She got a good draw in 4, and David Probert, who rides the track well, was on board.

Wolverhampton was a really nice experience, with a dedicated place in the stands just outside the restaurant for viewing. We met Twitter and Facebook friend Will Cemis, and he seemed to have great luck throughout the evening.

David Probert on Star Of Lady M

We were in the last of 8 races, but it was worth the wait. Star tucked in behind the pace and made her run up the straight. Starsong was leading on the rail, and we just managed to get the better of that rival. Sadly, Sixties Chic just pipped us on the line in a three way photo.

Desperately close at Wolverhampton

Wolverhampton is actually 6 furlongs and 20 yards, so perhaps that additional 20 yards was her undoing.

It did show us that six furlongs was a genuine option, and we looked forward to a win in the not too distant future.

The All Weather bonus for October / November was out of reach, but we had accumulated 9 points towards the overall prize.

Daydream Believer

Our Sir Percy filly still needed a name, and after another tense vote there was a tie. The Red Baroness and Percy’s Daydream received equal numbers of votes. So, in a supplementary vote Percy’s Daydream triumphed. I once again sent the name to Weatherbys, and this time it was approved.

Meanwhile, the Great British Bonus people could not get away from Star Of Lady M, featuring her in their latest set of adverts.

“Be more Star Of Lady M”, but what I really wanted was for Star to return to the winners enclosure where she had been four times in the previous season.

Something For The Weekend

The end of November brought about a very busy weekend. Canaria Queen was declared at Southwell on Friday evening, and Star Of Lady M at Lingfield the following afternoon. It was all too much for Sally, so I set off alone for the Nottinghamshire course.

This was the first time Southwell had been open since the floods, and there were no spectators allowed. Owners and Annual members had their own areas, and it had quite a busy feel to it. Tom Denham was sat at a table with several other Tim Easterby owners, so I joined them and chatted about horses and syndicates. I was not overly confident about the chances of Canaria Queen, but I was excited about Star Of Lady M once again trying 6 furlongs at Lingfield the following day. We had even secured the services of champion jockey Oisin Murphy for the ride.

There The Cold Winds Blow

Southwell had done a great job getting the course ready, but I suspect that the jockeys were not too impressed with the temporary weighing room. This was a marquee, and with biting winds all around they were freezing.

Duran Fentiman was on board Canaria Queen, and he was happy to see how the race panned out. As it happened, she broke well enough, got a bit lost as the pace quickened, and finished 7th of 11. Hopefully now she would drop a few pounds to a more realistic mark. I spoke to Tim and we agreed that perhaps she should revert to six furlongs to give her a chance to settle better.

Canaria Queen at Southwell

I left the course and headed south, but the traffic was against me. The A46 was closed and the M1 was down to a single lane. By the time I arrived at the on course hotel at Lingfield the bar was shut!

The following morning it was a two minute drive out of the car park to the next car park which was for Owners and Trainers. Once again Lingfield was friendly, and for this Saturday afternoon meeting there was quite a crowd. I sat with some other owners, and met Sally’s friend and fellow owner Christine who was there to watch Master Zoffany.

Murphy’s Law

We were again in the last race on the card, and so it was a long wait. There was good news from Oisin as he rode the winner of the first race. David O’Meara called to discuss tactics, but the basic message was that Oisin was the right man for the job. In the parade ring he oozed confidence. He had watched her unlucky run at Wolverhampton, and thought he could ease her into the straight before pushing the button. He then took the trouble to record a good luck video for one of our friends, Daisy, who is heading to the racing school.

Oisin Murphy on Star Of Lady M at Lingfield

Oisin In Charge

He was very impressive all round, and I was feeling confident as I went to the stands. Star broke well, and raced behind the early leader. Coming into the straight she ranged alongside and went on. It looked as though she might have hit the front too soon, then Oisin flicked a switch and away she went. She comfortably beat her 10 rivals by almost 3 lengths, and it was both a thrill and a relief to see her in the winners enclosure once more. Oisin ensured everyone was in line for the pictures, and I went to the viewing room for a replay and a glass of champagne.

The winners enclosure at Lingfield

I was almost the last to leave the course, but the journey home seemed to fly by. I took calls from Luke and David as we planned what would be next. David thought that the easy six at Lingfield really suited her, but that her best distance was still five.

The following Tuesday Canaria Queen had been dropped 3lbs, but Star Of Lady M had been raised 7lbs. That meant she was still considerably lower than at the start of the season, so perhaps there was more to come.

The Only Way Is Essex

Our next plans involved Wolverhampton or Newcastle. The Wolverhampton race was for restricted riders so we drew a line through that. Chelmsford was an option, and we could have had Oisin on board. Unfortunately Oisin decided to go to Wincanton hurdling, a meeting that was subsequently abandoned! We entered a Class 3 race at Wolverhampton, but again decided to give it a miss despite there only being 4 runners.

Chelmsford was still on, and we got Hector Crouch as our jockey. Hector had ridden Star into 3rd at Windsor back in July.

On our way to Chelmsford we called at Newmarket where Emerald Duchess was in the mares sale. Sadly, she did not sell, but we have subsequently sent her to Kate Tibbits where she should be rehomed to enjoy an alternative career,

We said “goodbye” to Emerald Duchess

We stayed at a local inn in Chelmsford, and met my sister Lisa and her husband Stewart, as well as Sally’s cousin Jamie and his wife Sharon. It was a shocking night of torrential rain, and there was a further shock when we were asked for ID on entry to the course. The owners area was crowded, and the racecourse itself was a bit weird as the start of most races is behind the spectators. As it turned out we did not get the run of the race, with Hector getting caught out wide and Star Of Lady M pulling very hard.

She finished 7th of 8, unfortunately not enough to get her handicap reduced!

Star Of Lady M wasn’t happy at Chelmsford

A Turkey At Wolves

That could have been it for the year, but we actually ran twice more. The first of these was at Wolverhampton a few days before Christmas. The owners restaurant provided our first Christmas dinner of the season, and with Danny Tudhope back on board we were hopeful.

Danny Tudhope back on board at Wolverhampton

She got blocked early in the race, but finished well to grab third, a reasonable result that confirmed that Chelmsford was just a bad day.

Star Of Lady M seems to enjoy Wolverhampton

Auld Lang Syne

Next up it was New Year’s Eve at Lingfield. We could have gone to Wolverhampton the day before, but Sally was visiting friends in London, who she hadn’t seen for 35 years. So she went with my sister, and then they travelled onwards to Lingfield. I drove down and we were hopeful for the following day. I had reservations because she had had a long, hard season. Perhaps she needed a break? We would soon know.

David Probert was on board, and he had ridden her into third at Wolverhampton previously. Jason Kelly said it was the right race for her, so although we had an average draw in 6 there was some confidence. We made new friends on the large, shared tables in the Owners lounge, and we joined David O’Meara’s representative Sarah in the parade ring for the previous race as Zarabanda’s owners were not in attendance.

A Rough Ride

Finally it was time for our race and Star looked very relaxed in the parade ring. David rang and said he had given the jockey no set instructions. David Probert had ridden a winner earlier in the day, so my instruction was to ride exactly the same race. It never panned out that way, as Star got bumped, blocked and bumped again. She was eased down to finish last of 10, but she was beaten less than 5 lengths. David thought it was just the tactics that were wrong, as she saw too much daylight and ran “with the choke out”. I thought that she might indeed need a rest. David was not of the same opinion, but as we were about to go on holiday he thought she could have an easy week or two.

Discussing tactics at Lingfield

So that was that for Star Of Lady M in 2023. She did not have it as easy as her two-year-old season, but I am told that is typical. Three-year-old fillies struggle to compete with the colts and geldings, but they come back stronger as four-year-olds. We will see what 2024 brings.

You can read the previous edition here…

Sal Qaeda And The Mole

October 24, 2023 by Mike Madden

Sal Qaeda And The Mole

I start this edition with what could have been some disturbing news! Sally went away for a few days with some friends, and as most of them sat down for refreshments at 4 o clock on a Wednesday morning at Manchester Airport, Sally headed off to duty free. With sunglasses on and boarding pass in hand she spent some time browsing the perfumes. She took a particular interest in the Chanel counter. Eventually she returned to her merry band, where it was immediately clear that something was amiss.

Fiona asked with concern, “Sally, where is your bag?”. Sally looked around. She realised that in the euphoria of holiday mode she must have left it at one of the shops. She located it at the aforementioned Chanel counter, but retrieving it was not that simple. The lady at the counter had noticed the unattended luggage and immediately called security. Having admitted that she owned the bag, she was taken into a room. Both Sally and her bag were swabbed. She was eventually allowed to return to her friends. Although she insisted that they kept the story quiet, it did not take long for the mole to reveal the truth!

Kitchen Kalamaties

The kitchen has been especially busy, and not always successfully. I begin with blackberries that were much earlier than in previous years. I have still got plenty of jam from last year, so I decided to make a blackberry and apple loaf and a blackberry bakewell. These are both useful and tasty ways of using up the free fruit. However, the favourite was undoubtedly blackberry and fig crumble cake.

I also decided to try my hand at pastel de nata, the small custard-filled Portuguese pastries. I used pre-rolled pastry for which I make no apology, but the custard was home-made. They were delicious, and could become a staple.

Pastel De Nata

I also baked a lot of shortbread biscuits. These are surprisingly easy, and very moreish despite their somewhat unhealthy constitution.

Shortbread

Scary After Dark…

Zac has become a bit of a night owl, and he frequently uses the oven after work, or when he comes in from his mate’s house in the middle of the night. Inevitably, this would lead to disaster. These are chips, or so I am reliably informed.

Oh no!

…And In The Daylight

Regular readers will know that Sally is not to be outdone when it comes to kitchen disasters. I marinated some chicken for her which she duly placed into the oven. After a while I asked if she could smell burning, and was her chicken alright? “Should be,” she replied, but then she took a look. A disappointed “Oh” was all that she said.

Oh no, no, no!

King Creole

Of course, October means Creole Cake, and the first two stages are now complete. It will soon be time for the repeated infusion of alcohol.

Creole Cake ready for the oven

Cat Calls

Quite a lot of cat news to report. Firstly, Sally spotted a black and white cat outside Fernilee church. She thought it could have been Lucky, the one that ran away a month or so earlier. It was not Lucky, nothing like him actually, but it was very friendly and very hungry. I drove up a short time later and it was still there, so I left some food. The people at the church were a little scared that it might get run over, so it went to the vet in Whaley. Not heard anything since, and Lucky is still missing!

Doubting Thomas

In August I thought it might be a good idea to get a kitten as a companion for Bo. She is naturally aggressive except with me. I thought she might suffer from separation anxiety when we went away. So, I got a little boy from the cat sanctuary in Dove Holes. Sally christened him “Thomas”, and that seems to have stuck. His first night was eventful to say the least.

Thomas – butter wouldn’t melt

He had a cat cage, complete with food, bedding and cat litter, so he should have been fine. The following morning the cage was empty and there was a quiet miaowing from somewhere unseen. He had gone into a kitchen cupboard and found a gap that had remained undetected for 24 years. The gap led to a space under the cupboards that ran the length of the kitchen. He had wandered along to a dead end.

I hammered at one of the base boards and dislodged it, but he was still out of reach. He would also probably be terrified at the noise. So, I removed another and another until I got to the end. Finally, I lured him out with some food on a very long spoon. The base boards are irreparably damaged, but Sally is not too put out. She thinks it will accelerate the arrival of her new kitchen.

Naughty Thomas

Thomas has also taken a dislike to referees.

That was never a penalty

The Cold War

Over the next few days Bo was a lot more relaxed. She encountered Thomas and there was a series of Mexican stand offs that then developed into a cold war. They have eaten side by side, but Thomas thinks its a good idea to attack her when she least suspects. This is guaranteed to keep the cold war going for much longer.

A thawing

A Book For Christmas

From Tattersalls To Triumphs is still selling well, and the hardback edition is also now available. The Amazon process to create and proof the hardback was quite tedious. However, the finished article is well worth paying an extra few pounds for.

From Tattersalls To Triumphs

Ponies Without Prosecco

Summer holidays are an excuse for mum and dad to dump the kids on the grandparents. Gabi is no exception to this! We had Nixie and Miles for a few days, though Nixie had the distraction of Pony Club. She had a wonderful time, collecting several rosettes at the end of the week. With Miles we were happy when he ate everything put in front of him (small victories are important). At the end of the week we reminded ourselves why it is good that they are not here more often, as exhaustion kicked in.

Thespian News

Its been a busy time for Ole.  He filmed All Creatures Great And Small and he then landed a small part in the next season of Brassic. He has also auditioned for the period drama Hardacres, and a fantasy wizards and demons series. His next request was for the part of a murder victim in Ridley, and then for a living person in the same series. Hopefully these roles will all come together to provide him a starring role.

A Nice Surprise

The Whaley Bridge Cricket Club Trip landed in Montenegro this year. The details might be a little gory for this publication, but I can report that the country itself was a very pleasant surprise. We flew to Podgorica, and although it is a capital city the airport was small and efficient. Hotel Podgorica was modern and well equipped, and the city was full of parks and statues. Restaurants and bars lined the streets, and were very reasonably priced. The beach was about an hour away in Budva, which also has a traditional Old Town and a marina. Ryanair fly on Friday afternoon, returning on Sunday evening, so it is ideal for a weekend break.

Budva Old Town, Montenegro

Stone The Crows

I had limited success with a bamboo cage in the garden. Now, I have made a much sturdier one to keep the crows and magpies away. I have already had several tits munching on the nuts and seeds, and the squirrels love it. This is presumably because they can have their fill of the small birds’ food without having to worry about their noisier and bigger cousins.

Now Get Out Of That

My Kingdom For A Horse

Summer has been a busy time at the track. Star Of Lady M made her way to Windsor for a Monday night fixture. Hector Crouch was our jockey, with a new face, Clive, meeting and greeting us from the yard. We booked into a hotel at nearby Slough and made our way to the course in a taxi.

Windsor is a friendly course, and we did not mind when two American chaps left their stuff on our table whilst they went to eat. We were in an early race. So, when they returned we asked them to look after our things whilst we were gone, and they agreed. Star was on edge in the parade ring, with a strong wind swirling around the course. Sally decided to calm her by joining the groom on the outside, so that she essentially had two handlers. With several horses getting nervy Star seemed to have settled, but then Sally’s hat blew off. This could have been catastrophic as she chased after it, but no harm was done. On the plus side, the tv camera seemed to zoom in on the exact moment that it left her head.

Close But No Cigar

A lot of people had backed Star each way at big prices, and we were hopeful of a good showing. She broke well, and settled in behind a ferocious pace. One of our regular jockeys, Jason Watson, moved off the fence on his mount. This was the cue for Hector to steer Star to the inside. She burst through and finished very strongly, but too late to catch the first and second favourites. A gallant third was a brilliant result, and with a clearer run she could have won. David was delighted, and we debated whether we should aim her at a sharp six or stiff five furlongs. Luke was also thrilled, and we made plans to meet up to discuss her potential future career as a broodmare.

Star Of Lady M at the start at Windsor

Meanwhile, Sally caught up with Matt Chapman and decided to interview him rather than the other way round, and to be fair he was a good sport. The Americans were sitting with reams of betting slips back at our table. The mobile Tote guy was selling them Tim’s Terrific Trifecta, which entails picking the first three in a race. That is very difficult to do, but when perming multiple choices you have a much better choice. They were extremely successful, and so Sally decided to copy their bets with great success.

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

The Americans were an odd couple, an older chap who was rather scruffily dressed, accompanied by a younger guy who looked like he had come straight from Royal Ascot minus the hat and coat. As it turned out they had come from Royal Ascot, after which they had sold some mares to Coolmore. They were flying back to the US the following day, and thought what better way to spend a Monday night in England than at Windsor racecourse. They were a father and son team, with a fascinating background. Their company, Kentucky West Racing, owned and bred Classic Causeway in the hope of winning the Kentucky Derby. Unfortunately they had to settle for the almost as prestigious Belmont two months later! I am sure that our paths will cross again.

Lady D Returns

Elsewhere, Lady Dandylion was given a rating of 53, so she would be eligible for a nursery. This was perhaps a little too high, but it was a consequence of contesting a Class 2 race rather than sticking to Class 4 or 5.

It threatened to be a busy time, with Lady Dandylion entered at Catterick and Star Of Lady M entered at Carlisle the following day. We made plans to travel on to Carlisle after Catterick and stay over, but the ground was against us and Star was a non-runner. Lady Dandylion was one of 17 entered into the nursery at Catterick, along with old rivals Patasola and Bazball.

A Sad End

Sadly it was not to be. She was not even close to being competitive, and David Allan gave her a frank and honest assessment afterwards. She simply could not gallop and did not know what to do when the pace quickened. It was clear that she was not cut out to be a racehorse, so we quickly put an end to her racing career and made plans to rehome her. She would hopefully make someone a lovely dressage or event horse. At that stage we were encouraged that Emerald Duchess might be able to return to training within the next couple of weeks.

It seemed that we had found somewhere suitable for Lady Dandylion, and quite local too, but circumstances meant that they had to withdraw. We had another option, a contact provided by Richard Kent, and we were cautiously optimistic of a successful outcome.

Lady Dandylion ready for a new life

Star’s Next Move

There were a number of options for Star Of Lady M. After considering Windsor, Doncaster, Musselburgh and Sandown, we opted for the Friday night fixture at York over five furlongs and a crucial 89 yards. This was for three-year-olds only, giving it an advantage over the other handicaps. It was at the end of the music showcase evening, and Sally and myself had booked into the Parade Ring restaurant already. Sally’s brother Simon was also going to be there with Ben and Beth in the grandstand. We invited Ole and Zac to join us, and they jumped at the chance, swanking into the owners restaurant beforehand. I got an extra owners badge for Beth, but Simon and Ben were not for dressing up.

Star Of Lady M at York

It was a competitive race, with Star ranging in price from 7/1 to 14/1, eventually going off at 12/1.

My nerves would normally have been shredded by the time of the race, but we had enough beers to settle them before we headed to the parade ring. We bumped into William and Thomas Easterby, but there was no sign of Tim. There were lots of other familiar faces, and Sally had a good chat with Mick and Peter Easterby. I backed the winner of the race prior to ours, but as nerves finally began to kick in I forgot to collect the winnings. I asked Rory about the gamble on Northcliff, and he denied all knowledge of it.

Kissing Cousins

A Close Shave

Danny Tudhope was back on board, and we all agreed that he should drop her in and not chase what promised to be a very strong pace. She was quite a distance from the lead at half way, but Danny began to pick his way through. Entering the final furlong she put on a spurt up the stands rail, but the winner had flown. She finished a brilliant second, two lengths off the winner, but two and a quarter lengths clear of the third. It was a worthwhile evening, with around £5,000 in prize money, and as an added bonus our hosts at York invited us for champagne as placed connections.

Let me explain about horse racing

This was especially nice as Di Jackson was in attendance, but when I said we should wait for Sally I was told that she was already in the champagne room. Fortunately there was no dress code in there, so Simon, Ben and Beth were all able to join us. It was quite some time before we made our way out, and the music showcase headliners Human League were well into their set. We went back to the Parade Ring restaurant to settle our bill, and the couple on the next table insisted on buying us another drink as they had backed out horse. “Don’t You Want Me” blasted out from the stage as we headed for a belated meeting with our driver Terry, who happily took us back to our hotel.

In the drawing room we were ready for a quiet night, but another group arrived, and when they found out that we were the owners of Star Of Lady M more drinks followed. It was well into the night when we finally retired to bed.

A Date At Doncaster

As the dust settled we made plans, and David again came up with a three-year-old only race, this time over five furlongs at Doncaster. It would be one of her last opportunities at that level as the handicapper would surely want a long, hard look at her rating.

Enter The Queen

At the time we were still working to find a forever home for Lady Dandylion, and Tim generously offered to lease a horse to us. This was a three-year-old filly named Canaria Queen, and she had finished third last time out. She was lightly raced, having not seen the racecourse as a two year-old, and Tim offered us tickets to watch her at Leicester the following day before making a decision. It was a bit short notice, but we tuned in to the race and were very impressed.

Canaria Queen – the latest recruit for the emerald green silks with black stars

Canaria Queen ran on well to go clear in the final furlong, but she was just caught on the line to finish second. It did not take the syndicate long to decide that we would like to lease her for the rest of the season, or at least until Emerald Duchess came back to fitness. I broke the good news to Tim, and we agreed to split any GBB bonuses 50-50.

Do You Want To Know A Secret

Early August meant a trip to Glorious Goodwood. We enjoyed it so much with Star Of Lady M last summer that we decided to head down there again, this time in the Secret Garden restaurant.

The door to the Secret Garden

The weather was horrendous, and we were glad to pull into the grounds of the rather grand but somewhat tired Avisford Park hotel. I had called the hotel the previous week to book a taxi to the races, but they assured me that would not be a problem. However, a few phone calls later proved that it certainly would be a problem. After half an hour I had managed to secure a ride to the course, but not back to the hotel. Taxis were in short supply, and even our driver from last year could not help.

A La Carte

We sat in the bar and studied the menu, and then Sally gave me her order. “I want a fillet steak with salad instead of chips, and I am not paying for the salad.” “That’s not what the menu says,” I argued, realising that after a fruitless search for a cab Lady M was in no mood to compromise. “A menu is just to provide ideas,” she said, and repeated her order. To be fair the hotel obliged, and after a splendid meal we remained in the bar and chatted to a few of the other diners.

By this stage, at least a bottle of red wine into the evening, Sally was in full flow. She regaled the other guests with tales of racing, and the value of Star Of Lady M went up by a quarter of a million pounds in a matter of a couple of sentences. Some were also off to the races, and they had either already booked their rides, or were in the same predicament as ourselves. We decided to leave it until the following morning and retired to bed.

Taxi?

As the sun rose we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, and Sally enquired if any of the young bar staff might want to earn a few quid. The answer came back negative, but she was not to be deterred. The grounds of the hotel contained a golf course, and we strolled towards it. I waited outside as Sally went into the club house, and after a few minutes, with the rain coming down again, I joined her inside. She was again deep in conversation about horses, and we met a chap who rode out for Major Dick Hern back in the day.

Then Sally cut to the chase. She wanted to know if there was anyone at the club who wanted to earn an extra few quid. The barman suggested Jamie, but when Sally asked where he was it transpired that he was cutting the 15th green. We waited a few minutes, and a youngish lad walked in, no doubt wondering why everyone was staring at him.

“Are you Jamie?” Sally asked. The young lad nodded and then the deal was sealed. “I am going to give you a hundred pounds, and you are going to take us to the races and pick us up afterwards. How does that sound?” “Great,” he replied, but I’ll have to ask my boss for the time off.” His boss was stood at the end of the bar, and in the face of Sally’s confident approach, and the sight of rain pouring down outside, he could think of no good reason to deny the request. So, Jamie would be our driver, and we went off to get changed.

An English Summer

An hour later we were at the course, and the rain was relentless. A gale howled around the course, and we had to literally hang on to our hats as we made our way to the oasis that is The Secret Garden. This was a fabulous setting. As the rain bounced down outside we were sat in an indoor English country garden sipping English sparkling wine, before the obligatory champagne arrived. The food was excellent, and the table layout meant that we could not avoid making new friends.

As the rain eased we ventured out to watch Paddington. Aidan O’Brien gave us a nod, perhaps to acknowledge the indomitable spirit of the English in summer, no matter what the weather brings! I met Facebook friend and tipping competition organiser Will Cemis, and then we spent a fabulous hour with Luke Lillingston. Sam Hoskins finally got to meet Lady M, and I am sure he was thrilled by that! We bade farewell, and I agreed with Luke that we would meet up at the Doncaster sales to discuss Star Of Lady M’s future as a broodmare.

Back at the table I heard a familiar voice. I turned around to see Tim, of Tim’s Terrific Trifecta fame. He remembered us from Windsor, and reminded me of the spectacular bet.

I managed to back David O’Meara’s Rhoscolyn who won the last race, and our lift back with Jamie turned out to be just perfect.

Back To The Track

It was a long drive home ,and when we arrived I discovered that we had actually been declared for Doncaster on the Saturday. David had notched four winners the previous Saturday and so was in good form. Redcar had been abandoned the previous day, and with the possibility of heavy ground at Ripon,  Doncaster in south Yorkshire looked a good alternative.

As we prepared to head to Doncaster the news came through from Tim that Canaria Queen had got spots. This was nothing too serious, but it would put her back a couple of weeks. The 1891 Group’s luck continued to be almost exclusively bad!

The Best Laid Plans…

The rain started to pour down at Doncaster, and so we declared at Ripon as well just in case. At first Jason Watson was on board, then this changed to Danny Tudhope. We set off for Doncaster not knowing whether we would even race or not.

We were installed as the 2/1 favourite as the rain started to ease. David Nolan was our jockey, and although we drifted out to 5/2 it was clear that we would take our chance. We were in the second race, and the opener certainly seemed to churn up some ground. David was knowledgeable about our filly, and he gave us confidence as he headed to the start, just as the heavens opened once more. Clive was again in attendance, and he pushed us towards the cameras as our jockey was being interviewed.

Star Of Lady M at Doncaster

We watched the race from the parade ring, which runs alongside the course. Star broke well, but it was clear that she struggled in the ground. It was certainly on the heavy side, and she did well to run on into fourth place. That at least gained us some prize money, and we agreed that the ground description should at least have the word “good” in it on her future runs.

Meeting David Nolan

Another Festival?

Elsewhere David O’Meara was on television talking about his Stewards Cup win with Aberama Gold. His success continued even if ours did not.

Star Of Lady M was in good form, despite the setback at Doncaster. She was entered at Ripon, Carlisle and Newmarket, and I also mentioned to Jason Kelly that there was a somewhat ambitious race for fillies only at the Ebor festival at York. However, although it was Class 2, as opposed to Class 4, it was historically good for three-year-olds, and particularly those rated in the 70s. So ,we entered that too.

The Ripon race was heavily oversubscribed with 33 entries, whereas the Newmarket race had a £30k prize pot, only 20 entries, and it was just for grey horses. That significantly reduced the pool of eligible horses, and we were favouring that.

Lady D Departs

Kate Tibbits, a friend of Richard Kent’s, agreed to collect Lady Dandylion from the Easterby yard, and Canaria Queen was back cantering after having a bout of ringworm, so we could expect to see her in the next few weeks. Emerald Duchess was making good progress and would be reassessed in six weeks.

Lady Dandylion happy in a field at her new home

Aim High

The best laid plans are easily thwarted by horses and races, and when sixteen were declared for the Newmarkey greys race David thought that we should skip it. It was 10lbs higher than the races she should be contesting, but as there were no clear alternatives we declared anyway and were quoted at 12/1. I warned everyone that we were far from certain to run, and sure enough, later that morning David confirmed our entry into the York race, a contest that was an even higher standard than the Newmarket race. However, it had the advantage of being fillies only, it was on her doorstep, and there were only 18 entries.

The handicap system meant that we would need a very light jockey, but even then we would be carrying 3lbs more than our rating stipulated, so we were certainly up against it.

We withdrew from the Greys race and focused on York. It was the first day of the Ebor festival, meaning that Star would have raced at Royal Ascot, Glorious Goodwood and the Ebor before her three-year-old career was over, just the Derby and Newmarket to complete the set!

Festival Fever

It was certainly a thrill to have a runner at the Ebor, as for me it tops the list ahead of any of the other English racing festivals. We booked the very experienced Joe Fanning to ride at the featherweight of 8st 2lbs, and it was no surprise to be priced at 25/1.

Talking tactics with Joe Fanning and David O’Meara at the Ebor

We arrived at the course before midday, despite the traffic from Leeds Festival. After picking up a few compliments in the car park we headed inside. Maureen and Mick Doyle, two owners that we met earlier in the season, were in attendance, as were Middleham Park owners Vinny and Kenny. Local trainer Adrian Keatley was also there, this time without his children.

The Owners restaurant was very busy, and York came up with an innovative solution to ease the congestion. Rather than sit down at a table they provided the option of a couple of carvery rolls complete with roast potatoes and a pot of gravy, and these could be eaten in the bar. Sally had her own problems, as the enormous hat that she had chosen for the occasion was too large to fit through most of the doors.

Star Of Lady M looked magnificent at another festival

Passing The Time

As race time approached my nerves went into overdrive, and I was pacing about trying to drink lots of water. In the pre-parade ring I sat on the lawn, to the concern of Jason Kelly and David’s team. Hugh Lillingston, Luke’s son, introduced himself, and a few minutes with him and Jason distracted me for a while.

In the parade ring Joe Fanning appeared, and we talked tactics. I pointed out that there was no pace on our side so perhaps Joe would need to tuck in towards the middle. David stressed that we should be closer to the pace, and to avoid the far rail where the ground seemed dead.

Fractions!

A short time later Joe mounted and they were off to the start. We took up our customary place in front of the giant screen in the parade ring, and they were off. She got bumped at the start, and suddenly we were ten lengths behind. Joe took her to the far rail, breaking our two golden rules in the first half of the race. She started to run on, and was closest at the finish. Her final position of 7th did not do justice to her, and Joe was very apologetic afterwards. However, he was making split second decisions at 40mph, and sometimes those decisions go wrong, That’s racing!

Star Is Back

She was beaten just 2 lengths in the Class 2 contest, just inches and eight hundredths of a second from 4th, which boded well for the rest of her season.

Joe apologises but he was not to blame

Everyone complimented us on what a fantastic race she ran, though Sally was more concerned about my nerves. She wanted me to get a watch so that she could monitor my vital signs!

We made our way home, mentally exhausted after ticking off another major festival. Meanwhile, the O’Meara team, and many others within the Yorkshire racing fraternity, were off to a party hosted by the owner of major racing supporter Clipper Logistics. It was anything but a low key affair, with Bryan Adams providing the music.

The following morning we were pleased to hear that Star Of Lady M had come out of the race just fine, and we could plan ahead.

There And Back Again

It was a busy week, and Friday morning we were once again on our way to York for the third day of the Ebor meeting. As we pulled into our hotel we were greeted by several staff members with umbrellas, Terry, our driver, and Frankie Dettori who was just about to head to the racecourse. Sally spoke to him in Italian, and he somehow managed to understand her. He was more than happy to pose for a photo, and Lady M was even gracious enough to crouch down so that the diminutive jockey was the taller of the two!

Lady M and Frankie

At the course we were booked into the Parade Ring restaurant, and they had certainly dressed it up for the Ebor. Rather than the usual prosecco on arrival, we were greeted with champagne, and the chairs were adorned with white cloth that made them seem quite regal.

It was a splendid afternoon, and we managed to catch up with some of The 1891 Group syndicate, as well as Luke Lilllingston, as we shared a jug or two of Pimms. We met William and Sarah Easterby who were both a little the worse for wear after the Clipper party, as were David O’Meara and Char-lee. I also noted that Andrew Balding was pacing up and down before the Lonsdale Cup that was eventually won by his horse, Coltrane. Apparently he is renowned for pre-race nerves – so its not just me!

A New Best Friend

Sally was circulating as ever, and she got on famously with Stacy Keatley. She then met Charlie Hills and praised his children for their Tweets highlighting Charlie’s recent racing achievements.

Terry picked us up after racing, and when we got back to Middlethorpe he showed us a picture of himself and Frankie that was clearly his pride and joy. Charlie Hills’ children were waiting for dad on the doorstep, and after discussing Tottenham Hotspur with them we went inside. In the drawing room there were other owners who had travelled up from Norfolk just to experience the Ebor festival. He was not particularly interested in racing, but she was passionate, and she admitted that she too gets very nervous before race time.

We retired early and got on the road straight after breakfast the next morning. Unfortunately, the news regarding Lady Dandylion was not good. She was covered in sarcoids. With that ailment it was unlikely anyone would take her, and they can be expensive to treat. However, we had faith in Kate, and sure enough a few days later she was seen on Twitter enjoying herself in a field in what will hopefully be her forever home.

The Queen Is Waiting

Canaria Queen was finally ready to see a racecourse again, and although it would be a long journey there was a race at Bath that should have been within her ability. However, Tim had other ideas, and put her into a hot contest at Carlisle. Tim thought that we would need to win to justify going to Bath and Andrew Balding had the hot favourite. At Carlisle, the race was possibly not as deep as it looked, and we could pick up some decent prizemoney.

It was a pleasant run up to the Cumbrian course, and we were given a warm welcome. The complimentary food was as good as it gets, but the race was predictable. She had proved to be a little on her toes at the stalls, so travelling head lad Geordie went to the start to calm her down. This meant that the only person from the stable that could give us information was Duran Fentiman, our jockey. She showed great professionalism going into the stalls, but once the race began she was quickly under pressure. Trailing some way behind the principals, she finished 9th of 11. We did not look forward to the return part of our five hour round trip. Hindsight always knows best, and at Bath the favourite as a non runner. We would certainly have been in with a favourite’s chance.

Canaria Queen at Carlisle

Out Of Her Depth

Duran was a little more optimistic. He was not quite sure why was in such a hot race, but at a lower level and with some cut in the ground, he thought that she could get her head in front.

The following day the Tim messaged to say that she ran too freely and would be dropped to 5 furlongs for future races. In addition, she was disadvantaged by being drawn out wide. I was not convinced and thought she should be dropped significantly in class.

Someone obviously thought otherwise, as she was entered into a Class 3 contest that also looked likely to feature Star Of Lady M. I gave Tim a call and he agreed that she should set her sights a little lower.

She was entered into races at Leicester and Catterick which were much more suitable. Unfortunately the ground was against her so she was not declared for either. That was just before the heavens opened and there were swathes of non-runners due to the soft ground, Who would be a trainer?

What The Future Might Hold

I ventured to Doncaster again, this time to meet Luke at the Goffs sale. It was a busy arena, though I caught up with Tim Easterby and David O’Meara. David was keen to explore future options for Star Of Lady M. However, the meeting with Luke was all about the future for Star Of Lady M once her racing career is over. He was delighted that we would consider sending her over to his Mount Coote Stud, and he explained how a deal might be structured. This included the possibility that one day we may even race one of her foals.

The End Of A Chapter

The news was not so good from Tim, as he finally conceded defeat with Emerald Duchess. He did not believe that she would recover sufficiently from her injury to be able to race again, and so we would send her to the Tattersalls Mares sale in December. In the meantime, we had to hope that her full sister, Granny Budgie, continued to win more races. As it turned out, her full brother was sold at Goffs, though not for as much as we had hoped. Richard Kent admitted that the colt was still a bit backward but should come good in time.

York Once More

Star Of Lady M was entered into the apprentice handicap for three-year-olds only at York, and as it was their family fun day their somewhat stringent dress code was relaxed. I was feeling ill before we even got there, so when the nerves kicked in it was worse than ever. Mark Winn was our jockey, and he was confident of a good showing.

Meeting Mark Winn before the apprentice race at York

However, we were drawn away from the pace, and when the race settled down we were ten lengths or more behind. She found nothing, and afterwards Mark admitted that he was at a loss. That was not her true running as he eased her down to 16th of 17. David had no explanation either, suggesting that her draw had done her no favours. It was also possible that the ground had gone against her, as it had started raining just before the race. 

Perhaps she was in season, perhaps she was just under the weather. It was another one that we had to put down to experience and move on.

The Queen Of Scotland

Grannie Budge finished 3rd in a competitive nursery, confirming her promise and the potential uplift to the value of Emerald Duchess. Elsewhere, Canaria Queen was entered at Musselburgh, Thirsk and Redcar, and it seemed that the first of these was the preferred destination. It was a GBB race, and there were just seven runners, but as the course is near Edinburgh there were certain logistical issues.

The night before was the end of season cricket celebration, and that went on until late into the night. In addition, the girls trip to Majorca would see them return after midnight as well.

Fiona offered to drive, but there were just two other travellers, myself and Jake. Jake had to ride in the back because of his hangover, and he was very relieved when we stopped close to Penrith for coffee and Greggs.

Last Minute Jitters

We carried on, making good time, and eventually pulled into the course a good hour before the first race. Canaria Queen was on her toes in the parade ring, but Geordie was confident that she would be fine at the stalls. There were originally six runners, but the favourite was withdrawn. The new favourite was long odds on, but we were feeling reasonably confident. At the start Canaria Queen was not happy. She reared up, backed away, and for a while it looked like she might not even enter the stalls. That would have been one heck of a waste of a nine hour round trip. Eventually, though, the shrugged off all but one of the stalls handlers and moved into her gate swiftly and smoothly.

Canaria Queen at Musselburgh

First!

David Allan said that he hoped the favourite would give him a lead, and that proved to be the case. Two furlongs out he made his move, and it was decisive. It was difficult to hear the commentary with Fiona screaming at the top of her voice, but that did not matter. It was clear that she would win from a long way out. The performance was supremely confident from all concerned, and after almost 18 months The 1891 Group had finally had their first winner.

The winner – Canaria Queen wanted the limelight to herself

There was a brief presentation, but no pictures of the winning owners with the winning horse as she was still full of herself. We received a bottle of Edinburgh gin and four presentation glasses, and then we went to the winners lounge to watch the race over and over again. We were given a USB stick containing the race, and a picture of Canaria Queen crossing the winning line. As ever after a win, the rest of the racing became a distraction and we headed for home. The following morning the syndicate were still excited, all wanting to know where she would be off to next. I had Redcar on 27th September earmarked, but with Tim it was difficult to be confident.

The 1891 Group finally come out on top

Here Comes The Rain Again

Star Of Lady M had an entry at Beverley, but we were concerned about the weather. Danny Tudhope was on May Blossom, possibly because of the doubt about our participation, and even on the morning of the race we thought we might give it a miss. David called at 11am, and we were off to Beverley! As we approached the east Yorkshire course the day was clear and sunny, but that concealed the deluge that was about to occur.

Star Of Lady M in the rain at Beverley

At race time the parade ring was empty and under water, and the incessant rain continued as they went to post. We had figured that Star did not like the heavy going, and so it proved. She did her best, but finished 8th of 9 in ground that could be described as bottomless. We would definitely need to consider that for future races.

Reacquainted with Jason Watson

The Queen Is High

We saw Will and Rory from Tim’s yard, and they confirmed that they were waiting for the handicapper to reassess Canaria Queen before further entries. As it turned out she was raised 5lbs, which seemed a little harsh for winning a small novice race. Despite that, she should still be able to hold her own in a low grade handicap.

Unfortunately Tim thought it best to enter her into a higher grade again, this time at Ripon. I was away for the weekend, but the syndicate was well represented. Canaria Queen was slowly away, and never really challenged. This could have been expected, but the disappointing thing was that the handicapper saw fit to leave her on her elevated mark of 69 rather than drop her a few pounds.

Canaria Queen at Ripon

She was entered into a contest at Southwell, but was not declared as the ground looked like riding too fast, whilst Star Of Lady M was also going to contest that but for an administrative oversight.

A Battle Royal?

Next up for Canaria Queen could well be a contest at Musselburgh that might also feature Star Of Lady M. Star could well go to Windsor instead and Canaria Queen might sensibly end up at Redcar, but it is an intriguing prospect.

You can view the previous edition here

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January 17, 2023 by Mike Madden

Evri Cloud…

Leaves On The Lawn

The dark days of winter are not helped by the thankless task of clearing up leaves. I gathered up 40 bags of the perennial nuisance and deposited them at the tip. I am fairly sure that’s a record – and one that I won’t hope to beat next year!

Evri Cloud Has A Silver Lining

The World Cup certainly added a bright spot to winter. I decided that I should purchase a Brazil shirt for the tournament, as is traditional. Kitbag seemed to be the best option, so I placed an order that was duly dispatched. A few days later I got notified that the item was with their chosen courier Evri, and that’s when problems began. Evri updated the tracking to state that they had the parcel. However, they had no idea when it would reach me, so I contacted Kitbag for a refund. By now the group stages were well under way. Kitbag said that they would need to get confirmation from Evri that the parcel was lost. I pointed out that this was their problem and not mine. I also mentioned that any company with reasonable customer service would look at the Evri tracking and issue a refund forthwith.

Meanwhile, I ordered a replacement from JD Sports. Unfortunately, I then got the dreaded notification, “Your parcel is now with Evri”. I crossed everything and hoped for the best, but to no avail. The second parcel went missing, and whereas Kitbag had to undertake a full investigation, JD Sports accepted liability and issued an immediate refund. I received a notification that the item had been received back at JD Sports, and the refund appeared against my card almost immediately.

Third time lucky? As the knockout stages approached I ordered the same item from Nike, and I was dismayed to find that they too use Evri as their courier. However, I was delighted when the item arrived a full five days before it was due. Coincidentally, this was on the same day that Kitbag finally processed a refund.

London Buses

The saga did not end there. Evri then continued to update me on the status of my Nike parcel, even though it had already arrived. Then, just as the semi finals were due to start, the JD Sports order mysteriously arrived. There was no tracking or notification, just a delivery. A few days later, just in time for the final, the Kitbag item arrived. Unfortunately, I had already completed the incessant surveys that these retailers send out, including somewhat colourful answers to the questions, “Would you recommend Kitbag to your friends and family?” and “What could Kitbag do better to improve your experience?”

If the Brazilians run out of shirts – I’ve got plenty!

Sherry Shortage

Zac managed to get himself a temporary job at Tesco for November and December, but it did not start well. He was stacking shelves in the booze aisle when a full case of sherry toppled from his cage. Every single one of the twelve bottles smashed, and he became an instant folk hero. No one had managed to smash a full case before. He followed this up with a bottle of wine that bit the dust, and then some mustard that was particularly pungent, but after that all went well. He is hoping to be recalled in the New Year, as he needs funds to pay for his next jaunt, to India!

Christmas, Creole & Coffee

The run up to Christmas is always busy in the kitchen, but this year seemed more hectic than usual. I made a large batch of gingerbread “Christmas biscuits”, but Ole got wind of them. They disappeared long before December, and so I had to make a second batch.

Whodunnit?

A similar thing happened with the chocolate digestives. I delayed the mini cheesecakes, but they did not last long either. I made a number of chocolate logs, though Zac’s slices just seemed to get bigger and bigger. Since his return from Thailand, Zac has started to eat some more cosmopolitan food, with Madras being a particular favourite, so there has been no shortage of curries.

Brownies came and went, both naked and covered in cream, whilst the perennial favourite coffee and walnut cake, made using Camp coffee and chicory essence of course, is always a hit with the older generation.

The Creole cake was a big success, particularly after Sally had applied her artistic touch, and the Christmas pudding shimmered with flame. This was possibly my favourite food of the festive season.

Creole Cake 2022

You’re Fired

Speaking of flames, we replaced the floors in two rooms on the run up to Christmas, and so we had a lot of old wood and board that needed burning. I built a huge bonfire, and although it was too wet to burn on the traditional New Year’s Eve, it stayed alight for 4-5 hours on New Year’s Day.

   

I’m Making A List…

Christmas is over all too quickly, and its a good time to reassess your excesses. We discovered a new game, Herd Mentality, where there are no wrong answers. The aim is to try to answer the same as everyone else, and you quickly realise that after alcohol you have no chance! I made a note to order more parsnips next year, as well as much less chocolate and to make much, much less stuffing. We had enough to sink two Titanics. I will no doubt lose my list by next year, and we will have more or less the same problems.

What Goes Down Must Go Up

On Boxing Day Sally went to join the traditional hunt from Bakewell. Its not a real hunt, so I’m told, but if its not a real hunt I’m not sure why they take hounds with them (you’re not allowed to call them dogs). Anyway, I took Ole and Zac with me for some fresh air and to see her off. We parked near Lady Manners school, and as we descended the rather sharp hill to the streets of the town, Zac stumbled across a stark realisation.

“We could have parked a lot closer – we are going to have to walk all the way back up here.” He was right!

Its all downhill until you have to go back again

Lady M and Nancy

Sally’s Stew

Some of you may think that Sally gets a bad rap when it comes to the kitchen, and to be fair she excels around the festive season. Christmas Eve sees her create a traditional and mouthwatering cheese & onion pie with home made beetroot chutney, and the following day she makes a wonderful Christmas Dinner. She also promised me a New Year full English breakfast, but she went out so I had to make my own. However, there are still times when I shake my head and wonder what will happen next. A week or so before Christmas she went out to ride her horse. An hour or so later, we got a message at home.

“Can someone check the stew I’ve left on?”

From Tattersalls To Triumphs

As reported in the previous edition we launched From Tattersalls To Triumphs, with all proceeds going to the Injured Jockeys Fund and Retraining Of Racehorses charities. Sales started well, but then hit a bit of a slump, I did an interview with Frankie Foster at Ascot which seemed to have a positive effect, and then on the back of that Sun Racing contacted me for their own interview. Finally, I went to the mares sale at Tattersalls, where Gina Bryce asked me all about the past year in horseracing.

You can follow the press here! 

From Tattersalls To Triumphs in The Sun

Interview with Gina Bryce on Tattersalls TV

Of course, you can still buy the book here…

From Tattersalls To Triumphs on Amazon

…or if you have already purchased please consider leaving a review.

Hopeful Horses

Meanwhile, Emerald Duchess is not yet back in training, whilst Star Of Lady M is fully recovered from her injury. Unfortunately, she got a little too boisterous in her paddock and managed to injure her shoulder on a fence post, but it was nothing too serious and it should be all systems go for April.

Our two-year-olds are now officially three-year-olds, as all racehorses have a birthday on 1st January. Although flat racing happens year round, the official flat season begins with the Brocklesby at Doncaster on April 1st. The countdown is officially on as we hope that both Star Of Lady M and Emerald Duchess will race in April. Unfortunately, our trainer, David O’Meara, is aiming Star Of Lady M for a May start, which hopefully means he has a couple of specific targets for her.

Back in November the BHA website published the fixtures for April, and so I have mapped out all possibilities for both horses, and the advantages / disadvantages of each potential race, based on previous renewals going back to 2016. So, it seems likely that Emerald Duchess will race at Redcar followed by Pontefract and / or Wetherby. Star Of Lady M could have a somewhat ambitious journey that takes in Bath, Newmarket and York.

In the interim, I am booked in to do a presentation on racehorse ownership at the High Peak Business Club on 17th March.

If you are interested the event costs £25 and includes breakfast pastries and bacon sandwiches.

High Peak Business Club

Cat Calling

We had a new wood burning fire installed, and it is a great success, blasting out heat at significantly less cost than using the radiators. Bo, in particular, is a big fan, and she now waits expectantly whenever she wants it to be lit.

Bridge Over Troubled Whaley

Whaley Bridge is a bit of a contradiction at the moment. It is about to become either chaotic or a ghost town depending on where you live. Network Rail are kindly shutting the road for SIX weeks whilst they replace the rusted and creaking, but crucially “Listed” bridge across Buxton Road. This has caused a lot of consternation, and it could be quite an inconvenience. It seems that Whaley Bridge will become a cross between Stephen King’s Under The Dome and John Wyndham’s Midwich Cuckoos. We’ve already been known as Village Of The Damned after the Todbrook incident!

I think I will just continue to walk to Tesco to collect small loads rather than doing a Big Shop! We are also fortunate that Frydays Cod & Cake opened last week, and it was very popular on opening night. We sent Ole and Zac to bring back samples, but we were very disappointed on their return. It wasn’t long before they had to admit that the queue was too large in Cod & Cake, and so they sourced the fish and chips from elsewhere. Definitely not up to standard. We hope to get genuine Cod & Cake fish and chips in the near future.

Somewhere Old, Somewhere New…

Elsewhere in Whaley, the White Hart is yet again temporarily closed. I am not sure how temporary the closure is based on its appearance. The building has had huge unsightly boards erected, a lovely site for visitors to the village. Other places seem to be thriving, with a Mediterranean steak restaurant, the Istanbul Grill, and the revamped Sunday roast at the Cock all on the list of places to dine out. I am particularly interested to see what happens with the Cock, as there are rumours that they are clearing the huge piece of land at the back of the pub to create an even more extensive beer garden. Top of my list to try in the village is Grill 13, the burger place at Horwich End. They were reported to have had a few teething troubles. However, all is well now and they have an ever expanding menu.

We revisited the Royal Oak at Hurdlow for Sunday lunch a few weeks ago. Once again, it certainly lived up to expectations. It is one of the top 5 in the area, along with the Barrel at Bretton that we are booked in to early next month.

Anyway, there’s no getting away from the fact that we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. With the road about to be closed I’m glad I live on this side!

You can view the previous edition here

What the hell is that?

November 15, 2022 by Mike Madden

What the hell is that?

Thai Diet

I’ll start this edition with Zac, and a sequence of events that are both unbelievable, and quite predictable at the same time. He settled in to hostel life in Thailand, and then he went to the wilder parts of the country. Although he was in the wilderness, he found a 7/11 that sold cheese and ham toasties, and that became his staple diet. I asked him what he had eaten previously, and he was not quite sure. He knew that there were noodles, as well as curry and rice, but these were often accompanies by “mystery meats”. I can imagine ham and cheese toasties being heaven after that assault on his palate.

He progressed to Chiang Mai where he visited the elephant orphanage, and then onto the party city of Pai. Unfortunately, his repetitive diet caught up with him and he was ill for a few days. This gave him a chance to catch up with his sleep, and figure out just what he wanted to do next.

Driving Home For Christmas

When he started his adventure he sent me his details on FindMyIphone, so I could track him through Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Pai, and so on. Occasionally it could not find him, but that was usually because his phone had died.

Last Monday it looked like the tracking system had broken as it pinpointed him in Stockport. I thought about deleting and reinstalling the app, but as I watched I noticed his location progressing along the A6. The penny dropped. He had decided to come home, and he planned to arrive Sunday night, two days before his birthday. Air France conspired against him, delaying his flight so that he had to be put up in Paris Airport. It was not all bad news, as his delay would probably gain him around £550. Eventually, he made his way along Walters Wood, and much to his mum’s and his brother’s surprise, he walked into the house just as if it was any other Monday.

Plan B

He had had enough for now, but planned to go back out after Christmas. This meant that he could enjoy his birthday and the festive season, and the compensation from Air France meant that it had cost him very little. I always knew he was not completely daft!

Kitchen Traditions

I have been quite busy in the kitchen, with cornflake tart, sticky toffee pudding, and of course, pumpkin pie. However, Sally has also tried her hand at a few things.

What’s In A Name?

One dish in particular was quite remarkable. I think that it started off as some kind of sweet potato chilli, but it was not readily identifiable as that. When I asked Sally what it was, she admitted that she was not quite sure. It maybe had the texture of corned beef hash! One of her friends, however, was a little more blunt, or you could say that she had given it a new name. “What the hell is that?” seems quite catchy. It remained virtually untouched for a couple of says, before Sally admitted, “It’s got some hard bits in it and I don’t really like it,” and it was consigned to the bin.

What the hell is that?

Ole refused to eat it, and a couple of weeks later, with the pan of “what the hell is that?” still fresh in the memory, he found a pan of turkey chilli on the stove. The text exchange went like this.

Cornflake tart

Its Autumn, so there is always the Creole Cake to get under way. It seems to have baked particularly well this year.

Star Souvenirs

Star Of Lady M has finished for the year, but our involvement with her certainly has not. We decided to go to the excellent Headmasters in New Mills, where we ordered embroidered gilets and bobble hats. Not sure what we are going to do with them yet!

We went to see her after the traditional October finale at York, and she was already on the walker, showing great progress in her recuperation. Sally decided to try her with some Polo mints, but to be honest I don’t really think Star knew what to do with them. All of the stable were confident that she would make a full recovery, and we look forward to seeing her on a racecourse in April 2023.

Magnificent Middlethorpe

The York finale presented us with the opportunity to stay at Middlethorpe Hall once again, giving us the 10th anniversary of our first stay there. I highly recommend this hotel if you are ever at York races.

The Duchess Delivers (almost)

Emerald Duchess returned to Leicester, scene of her gallant third place from early September. Many of those in The 1891 Group syndicate thought that she had grown since they last saw her. Duran Fentiman was our jockey, and he was supremely confident in the parade ring. “Just go out there and win” was his instruction.

She broke very well, and travelled down the course looking as good as she ever had. The syndicate were ecstatic as she took the lead. There were screams, squeals and cheers as we thought she might win. She eventually finished second, as the favourite went past her on the wide outside. It was a great performance, giving us renewed optimism for her future. Her TopSpeed rating of 22 was bizarrely low, and her RPR of 54 was much more indicative of her improved showing. She was raised 2lbs to 52 by the official handicapper.

Return To Redcar

She ran again at Redcar at the start of November, but she hated the ground and got bumped into a couple of furlongs from home. She finished fifth, and although we were disappointed, it really showed that our expectations had increased. A TopSpeed of 13 and RPR of 33 were fully expected, but she was only dropped 1lb to 51. We look forward to her getting her head in front in the early part of next season. Shares of her are still available at the cost of £3,750 that includes 10% full ownership and one year’s training fees.

The Redcar day out was interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the lady at the gate recognised us from Star Of Lady M’s race in April. Secondly, we went into the stand and tried to remember where we were stood when Star Of Lady M won. Neither Sally nor myself could remember exactly, but a lady came up to us, pointed, and said, “You were there”. She remembered us from that day back in April, as she had never seen anyone so excited when their horse had won.

A Stocking Filler

Finally, from the horseracing world, my latest book, From Tattersalls To Triumphs, is now available to purchase on Amazon. The book details our first year of racehorse ownership, and all proceeds will be donated to the Injured Jockeys Fund and Retraining Of Racehorses charities.

       

From Tattersalls To Triumphs

As part of the promotion I have done interviews on RacingTV and Tattersalls TV, and I was featured in the Owner Breeder magazine for October. This was particularly useful, as the cover featured Queen Elizabeth II.

   

Owner Breeder magazine

Tattersalls TV

The Tattersalls interview was recorded at the Book 3 sale, and although we did not purchase this year, there were many well-wishers, including Luke, David O’Meara and Jason Kelly, Tim and William Easterby, Richard Kent, and the team from Cheveley Park. Looking forward to going back there at the end of November for the mare sale.

The Absurdity Of Queues

The NFL did not disappoint once again, as myself and Ole went down to London to watch the Packers take on the Jets at the Tottenham Stadium. With Zac in Thailand we took family friend Bruce Glover with us, and it was a straightforward journey from Macclesfield to Seven Sisters via Euston. It was quite a walk from there, but the weather was fine and there were some colourful sights.

As we approached the stadium we encountered our first queue of the day. It snaked around the concourse, stretching for several hundred yards, and we were thankful that it was not our entry queue. Instead, it was the queue for the merchandise shop, and it must have been at least an hour from joining the queue to actually making a purchase. Fortunately, we sidestepped this melee, and quickly rose to the VIP area. Ole and Bruce were very impressed as they tucked into smoked salmon, roast lamb, and unlimited Amstel.

Nachogate

The game itself was a close one, but at half time we returned to our table for nachos. It seemed that they had not given us enough nachos, so we asked for more. The head waiter came out with quite possibly the most ridiculous comment I have ever heard in a restaurant. Apparently, the chef knows how many people there were on each table and therefore he filled each bowl of nachos according to their destination. We had three on our table, and therefore we would have had a bowl for three. The waiters and waitresses had no idea which table each bowl went to until someone stuck their hand up, debunking the waiter’s crazy notion. Eventually, the manager came over and she admitted it was nonsense, they had simply run out!

The game continued into the second half, and we realised that there was one thing missing – cheerleaders! I know it is cold in Green Bay, but they still have cheerleaders – has the PC World gone mad?

Queuing For The Sake Of It

After the game we returned to our seats for hot dogs and more Amstel as we waited for the crowds to disperse. Eventually, we headed back to Seven Sisters where it was clear that there were still thousands heading our way. Just beyond the stadium there was a ridiculous queue to enter a grassed area. The only facility inside the grassed area was a burger van, and despite the presence of many more food outlets, including rival burger vans, in the immediate vicinity, these particular burgers must have been good enough to persuade people to queue for half an hour or more. We continued on towards our destination. The police clearly wanted to steer everyone through one entrance at Seven Sisters, and the queue began several hundred yards from the tube station. We tried two other tube station entrances, but they were blocked off.

More Than One Way To Skin A Cat

We tried Uber, but they wanted upwards of £50, then we hatched a cunning plan. Around the corner, just a few hundred yards away, was the entrance to the Seven Sisters overground station. So we headed for that. The overground station shares an entrance with the underground, but it would appear that no one told the police or the rest of the queue. We got straight onto a train and arrived at Euston in time for a pint before our return to Macclesfield!

Once Upon A Time…

Fern Farm has taken delivery of three little pigs. Dave has built them a house of metal, so I guess he has read the fairytale! They love apples and my jeans. Will hopefully get some videos in the near future.

   

Toadstools

Have you noticed the proliferation of fungi this year? There has been plenty in the garden, but on a walk around Fernilee there were a lot of very bright toadstools. Certainly would not recommend them for a salad.

Eating Out

We had a recommendation to visit the Barrel Inn at Bretton several years ago, but Covid got in the way. A couple of weeks ago we decided to try it out, and we were not disappointed. Fabulous roast dinner, very friendly service, and stunning views across the valley. Well worth the journey which is around 25 minutes from Whaley Bridge.

Previous Edition

Black Type And Blackberries

December 27, 2021 by Mike Madden

Covid For Christmas

An Eye Watering Review

I will start this edition with a product review. Not something I do a lot, and certainly not in response to emails that arrive literally minutes after ordering. However, I feel that guys out there need to know the truth, so here goes.

I am 60 so I feel I can talk about the sensitive and possibly disgusting subject of nasal hair removal. I have used a few trimmers, but I have never found one that is both reliable and really good at removing hair. Some of them eat through batteries way faster than the Duracell bunny, whilst others pull and tear rather than trimming. So, I thought there must be a better way. I found this on Amazon…

The line on the front of the package states “Fast, Effective & Painless Nose Hair Removal”, so it seemed ideal. I also read some reviews, which seemed to back this up. The reality is very different.

Hot Stuff

Essentially you get some wax beads, little cups to melt them in, moustache guards so you don’t remove your moustache, wooden spatulas to stir the wax, and applicators to apply the molten wax. It suggested 3 minutes in the microwave for the wax, followed by 90-120 seconds to set in the nose. After 3 minutes there were still lumps in the wax, so I gave it another minute.

I stirred quickly, and although the instructions suggested one nostril at a time, I realised that by the time the first one was done the rest of the wax would have set. So, I tested the temperature of the wax and it seemed ok, then I carefully placed one applicator into a nostril. I did the same with the  other one. It said you would be able to feel when the wax was cool enough and set enough to remove, but I preferred to count. I gave it the full 2 minutes, which may have been a mistake.

Nose To Nose

I gently pulled, and realised that a sharp tug was required. so I tugged. If you can imagine the idea of putting hot wax up your nostril and literally tearing the nasal hair, well that sounds painful, right? And it was! With eyes watering I did get the sense that something had been removed from my nose. Maybe something that wasn’t meant to be removed. It somehow felt cleaner. I looked at the applicator which was a big mistake. It looked like a fruit salad chew that had somehow fallen under the fridge and been discovered 6 months later.

I then realised my second mistake. Whilst waiting for my eyes to clear and trying to get the image of a hairy fruit salad chew out of my mind, the second nostril had set harder than it should. Not messing about, I knew the tug had to be a lot harder, and it was. So hard that it drew blood. Again, there was a lot of hair, but I now had the sensation that someone had punched me on the nose with a red hot fist.

In Case Of Emergency…

It obviously did the job, but the prospect of doing it again seemed quite remote. However, in for a penny and all that, I thought the ears would be much easier. That was certainly not true. It seems that ears are way more sensitive than nostrils, and I found this out rather quickly as the hot wax seared the opening to my ear.

In this case I rolled the wax around to cover all areas, and as with the nose I did two at once. This time I thought I would give it just 90 seconds, but it was still too late. I had an applicator sticking out of each ear, and a throbbing nose, reminiscent of Blackadder just before he went over the top. A sharp tug was a terrifying thought as the surface area of the ear is far greater than the nose, and that bit of the ear that juts up above the lobe is possibly one of the most sensitive parts of the body.

And Eyes And Ears And Mouth And Nose

For more than a moment I considered that I might have to go to casualty to get the applicators removed, then I manned up and pulled. Wow! My ears were ringing, completely taking my mind off my throbbing nose. The ripping sensation felt like someone had used rusty scissors to tear apart the ear, and I still had the other one to do. I pulled the second, and found that I was left with a strip of wax on a strip of hair that still needed to come out, but now I had no applicator. I eventually resorted to scissors, being careful not to irritate my reddened aural aperture.

To all of you ladies out there who regularly wax your more sensitive areas, I salute you. I still have two applications left in the package, but I am not going anywhere near them. Probably end up on eBay, unless I get drunk at a Christmas party. It would certainly make for an interesting forfeit.

Covid Communication

At the end of my last edition you probably saw that Ole had covid and missed two auditions. Well, actually he missed the Kes audition, and although they said they would wait until this week for a Zoom call they have already found someone else. The Waterloo Road audition was done over Zoom, not ideal for a Chemistry Test, so he is not too hopeful about that one either.

However, the real kicker came two days later when Zac announced to the world that he was also positive. I was a little sceptical as he retired to his room with the test, and when I asked him for the test so I could register it, he quickly intervened and said he would register it himself! However, with two boys on lockdown the house has become somewhat chaotic. Fortunately we have a Messenger group to maintain clear communication, and it has been a bit of an eye opener.

Covid Catering

The food requests started early!

The box in question was Dairy Box (remember those?). Apologies to someone who would have missed out as that box had been earmarked as a prize in the Whaley Bridge Cricket Club Christmas raffle.

It seems that Ole’s enforced isolation had seen a deterioration in his eating habits…

The following morning he seemed to repent…

Zac’s demands were a lot simpler – basically ham and cheese in either a sandwich or a toastie. But there are always complications…

 

…and we do expect some minimum standards!

By now I was getting used to it…

Then it became like Deliveroo…

The requests became more detailed as the days passed…

Staffing became an issue…

The threat of a review had to be addressed…

Zac had to do another test – just to be sure…

The results were inconclusive! I suspected foul play…

Takeaway Time

Despite Covid, or perhaps because of it, we stuck to Saturday night as takeaway night…

As you probably know Ole’s body is a temple, Zac’s less so, and mum was playing the martyr…

Zac has seen this ploy before…

Ole’s requests were relentless – but I got some respite by taking a walk…

Eventually I resorted to a menu system…

We got busy – even Sally had to help…

After the stresses of Sunday – Sally had to take me to the hospital – the boys would have to fend for themselves…

Then it was back to normal…

Praise indeed…

But then the guests, sorry, patients started getting picky…

Finally, away from the kitchen, there has been a spate of burglaries…

Someone wasn’t taking it too seriously…

They are both now out of isolation, though I’m not convinced I have seen a negative test, and true to their word there was a review…

7/10?

If issues fixed?

Looking forward to when the tables are turned!

Eventually, just in time, I was able to get back to Rocky Road, and other Christmas goodies. High on the agenda was injecting the Creole Cake with a good dose of Cointreau, and that was followed a few days later by the final dressing!

With the Rocky Road and yet another chocolate log alongside the Creole Cake, overall I was quite pleased with the Yuletide baking!

Feeling A Prick

As mentioned above, Sally took me to the hospital to get my injection of Duralane, a form of Hyaluronic Acid. I thought I would get a local anaesthetic, but no. The surgeon asked me to lie back and said I would feel a sharp scratch. Now, admittedly, it wasn’t as bad as the Groomarang experience, but having a needle stuck in your knee, first to drain fluid and then to replace it, is not a particularly nice experience. Dull aches and sharp stabs are the order of the day, or maybe I just have a low pain threshold!

Christmas Crumbs

Regular readers will know that we stay at Middlethorpe Hall quite a lot. The beautiful National Trust property, almost adjacent to York racecourse, has been a favourite for years. Well this year we got a handwritten Christmas Card from the manager. I’m expecting an upgrade to the four poster suite next time we visit.

Finally, Christmas Day saw us get to light the Christmas Pudding. I had never made one of these from scratch before, but they will definitely become a regular feature of Christmas, if only to wonder whether it will explode or not!

December 14, 2021 by Mike Madden

Gingerbread, Jabs And A Song For Rudolph

Jabbed!

Covid seems to be in the news for all sorts of reasons, and for me it was a relief when I was called for my booster. Now, having been double jabbed with Astra Zeneca I was about to be boosted with Pfizer, which is a bit like going from 1970’s 3% Skol to 2021’s 5% Peroni. The hangover certainly felt like a 5% one, as for 48 hours I was shaking, shivering and generally feeling like I had flu. Another day and I was back to normal, so I am now prepared for Covid to do its worst!

My knee is a different matter. I went back to my original surgeon after having no improvement through a course of physiotherapy. An X-Ray confirmed that my previous osteotomy was well healed and functioning normally, and an MRI scan showed that there was not much cartilage damage and the ligaments seemed to be intact. However, there was a lot of fluid around the joint, so the first course of action will be to drain that. I will then have an injection of Duralane, which sounds like it would kill 99% of all household germs, but it is actually Hyaluronic Acid which acts in a similar way  to the fluid that you would normally get around your knee.

The downside is that I wont be able to drive for 24 hours, but that is so much better than the six weeks of purgatory that Sally had to endure the last time I saw the same surgeon.

Winter Not So Wonderland

I have been to two festive events, in Manchester and Buxton. The legendary Christmas markets in Manchester were a little subdued, mainly because the focal point, Albert Square, was closed. The giant Father Christmas was in front of the library, but the town hall and its adjacent square were covered in scaffolding and barriers forbidding entry. Hardly the welcoming festive arena of yesteryear.

In Buxton there was a similar problem. There were a few stalls and the vendors were trying whatever they could to sell candles, gifts and hot chocolate, but this was all to a backdrop of scaffolding, netting and heavy plant machinery. Surely the organisers could have halted work or at least disguised it for a few special weeks?

Christmas In The Kitchen

At this time of year the kitchen is always busy, and after replenishing the gingerbread it seems that I will have to do it again.

The same goes for the chocolate digestives that never last longer than a week.

The same goes for the chocolate digestives that never last longer than a week.

However, the winner for the fastest food disappearance is definitely the chocolate log.

It went from this…

To this….

In just 3 days.

The date & walnut cake lasted quite a bit longer, but I’m not really a fan. The banana loaf was much more to my liking!

Regular readers will recall the myriad of fruit and alcohol that have been steeping since August and September. Well, they have now been decanted to create 250ml bottles of rocket fuel that Sally has been passing off as Christmas presents.

I think that the blackberry liqueur could certainly power a moderately sized vehicle.

My experimental Christmas pudding is now being saved for Christmas itself, giving it an extra 4 weeks to “mature”. Just to be on the safe side I gave it a couple of rather large slugs of brandy!

Finally, in the kitchen, the Creole Cake has had its infusion of brandy and sherry – so that just leaves the Cointreau for Christmas week (hic!)

Lights, Camera, Action!

Ole went down to London to get some new headshots for his Spotlight page, and it certainly seems to have helped. He got an audition for Waterloo Road, which led to a follow up audition. Next up he has been asked to go into Manchester for a Chemistry test!

He then got an audition for the stage adaptation of Kes. I am sure most of my readers will remember the original Ken Loach film with Brian Glover and Colin Welland. Well, despite that fact that Ole is 22 and the leading character is 15 he has been asked for a face to face follow up at the Octagon theatre in Bolton. If he is successful he will have to do around 50 live shows in Bolton and the Lake District, but of more concern is that he would miss our trip to the Dominican Republic. That is, of course, if Boris does not change the rules again by then.

Finally, he had to sign a non disclosure agreement for another role in which he played a Cockney character. Obviously I am not allowed to say much more, but his mum is concerned that the role may include some nudity and simulated sex!

Feeling The Heat

An off the wall incident happened in the kitchen when I noticed the oven had not been switched off.

“Who has left the oven on?” I asked.

“That will probably be Zac,” Sally replied.

I opened the oven door and found….the lid of a biscuit tin.

“There’s the lid of biscuit tin in there,” I said.

“That will be me,” replied Sally. ” I put it in there to dry it.”

The plastic stopper, used to pick up the lid, had unfortunately melted.

“I think we need a new biscuit tin,” I said.

A Measured Response

We went to the pub recently, just Sally and myself to get some “us” time away from the kids. As it is the festive season Sally ordered a sherry. The barmaid dusted off the seasonal bottle of Harvey’s. She then asked one of the more pointless questions where Lady M is concerned, “small or large?”

Having seen the measures next to each other, Sally must nave taken all of a nanosecond to say, “large!”

Its All Dad’s Fault

Zac has been having a tough time at college, with some results falling below even his own expectations. When he felt he was being backed into a corner he brought me into it!

“Why am I getting grief for my mock results when dad didn’t even finish his A Levels?”

Different times, my boy, very different times!

North Winds Blowing

Our planned trip to see Emerald Duchess and Star Of Lady M was aborted one Saturday morning due to snow. We rearranged, and decided to go up the night before which turned out to be a good idea. That day Derbyshire was swathed in an increasingly angry white blanket. Meanwhile, we were holed up in the cold but calm town of Malton. Our Airbnb was an interesting one. It seemed that the owners left 5 minutes before our arrival and would move back in 5 minutes after we left. There was food in the fridge, clothes in the wardrobe, and all manner of stuff hidden under beds.

I had some work to do so Fiona and Sally headed towards the bright lights of Malton. Recommendations for dinner were thwarted as many places don’t open on Mondays. However, they did make some purchases, including a broom for Sally. Obviously Malton brooms are a different breed to those readily available in the pound shops of Buxton, though I struggled to see the difference!

Later that evening we ventured into town. Malton boasts the title of the food capital of Yorkshire, so we were expecting a feast, and we were not disappointed. The small and friendly Blue Ball pub provided excellent home cooked food, and plenty of it,. However, the real joy was hidden just out of sight. In a room separated from us by a curtain there was some raucous laughter from the locals. It turned out that they had purchased a mechanical reindeer head that sang Lonely This Christmas. It was similar to the singing fish that were popular a few years ago. I’m guessing the locals don’t get out much.

Emerald Duchess

The Deli Of Malton served up an excellent breakfast and then we headed to Habton Grange, the training centre of Tim Easterby. Unfortunately, Tim and his wife were both self isolating with symptom-free covid. We chatted to Tim’s father Peter and then went out to look at the horses with Tim’s son Will. Emerald Duchess looked great in her stable and walking around the yard, but she was a bit too “fresh” to be taken out on the gallops, and to be honest with the temperature dropping I don’t blame her! She is well liked, and her pet name within the yard is predictably “Duchess”.

We took lots of photos and videos, but the best were these provided by Tom Denham, the stable’s social media man.

   

Tom also provided this video

Star Of Lady M

It was certainly cold at Habton Grange, but it reached a whole new level at David O’Meara’s yard, where the wind whipped across the open Yorkshire landscape. Star Of Lady M, or “Star” as she is known by the stable staff, looked very well, and she was more than happy to canter up and down the hill.

The idea at this stage of her career is just to get relaxed and not exert too much energy, She seems a laid back filly, so that was no problem!

   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMjooacAYgQStar Of Lady M

The horses will have their official birthdays on January 1st, and then we will probably visit them again in March when they start their serious work.

So, we hit the road anticipating another blizzard but it never really arrived. Apart from a few hailstones in Hayfield we made it home safely.

Stop Press!

Before going to his Manchester Chemistry test for Waterloo Road Ole had to do a Lateral Flow test. It came back positive, so now he is off to Hazel Grove for a PCR. Fortunately they have allowed him to do the audition by Zoom – not sure how that will work. Zac is quite happy as the rest of us have to self isolate and he is doing online lessons (I think!) Meanwhile, Sally has gone in to a cleaning frenzy – currently focused on the coal bucket.

October 19, 2021 by Mike Madden

Star Of Lady M

Born Under A Wandering Star

Sally, Fiona, Helen and Kerry went a wandering, and as Fiona had sustained an injury they stuck to relatively flat tracks rather attempt the challenge of Cracken Edge.

Sally hung back to take this picture, and although she titled it a A Hobbit’s Tale, I thought that it was Lord Of The Rings and Game Of Thrones that were being filmed in the Peak District.

Anyway, I think it was the hairy feet that gave them away.

Lunch

We have started to venture out for Sunday lunch again, with our first two visits being the Church at Chelmorton and the Swan at Kettleshulme.

The Swan possibly just shaded it, but it was very close. Both were excellent, with the service at the Church being outstanding.

The Swan still has gravy that could be a little bit thicker for us northerners, but there is no disputing the quality of their food.

Both are definitely recommended, and we will be visiting again.

Crumble, Crab Apples, Creole and Chilli

As the foraging season comes to a close I made a plum and blackberry crumble cake which disappeared as quickly as it was made.

Our plum tree has produced more fruit than ever before, and I have several jars of plum gin and a plum liqueur maturing in a dark cupboard.

With the last of the blackberries I made blackberry gin, as well as adding some to a crab apple liqueur where the apples were sourced from the tree next door.

Plum and blackberry crumble cake

Elsewhere in the kitchen I made some chilli jam which could well turn out to be a game changer as a burger relish.

And my Creole cake has moved on to the second stage!

I bought a steamer, really to make a steamed Christmas pudding, but as I had the equipment I decided to try a steak and ale suet pudding as well.

Man On Fire

Meanwhile, Zac has been doing some of his own cooking, starting with a somewhat unambitious grilled cheese and ham sandwich. As he munched on his supper there was a feint smell of burning, and this grew stronger and stronger until the smoke alarm kicked in. A brief investigation showed that he had taken his sandwich from under the grill, and then closed the grill without turning it off.

No harm done, but then he did it again! Now the whole house is on edge whenever he uses the grill, not too dissimilar to when Sally ventures anywhere near the cooker.

Eating Your Greens

The garden has yielded a few small tomatoes from what seemed like a lot of tomato plants, but it also produced several decent sized cucumbers. The cucumber plant hides its produce, but they were there – though they were a bit nobbly. After peeling the skins they tasted just like cucumber!

The only thing left out there now is the sprouts. Hoping to have them in time for Christmas!

Wereworld

Regular readers will remember Ole doing a voice recording for a potential Netflix series “Wereworld”. That was for a pilot, and twelve months later they asked him back to record a trailer. Things are moving very slowly, but at least they are moving. Of course, there is always the possibility that the series will not get commissioned, or that they will get Tom Hanks in to record the lead, but for now we are keeping our fingers well and truly crossed!

The Dead And The Not So Dead

Ive been taking my mum to a few places recently, including two graveyards. The first of these, St. Martins in Ashton-Upon-Mersey, is where my dad’s aunt and uncle are buried. It brought back fond memories of playing amongst the graves as a kid, and the adjacent farmyard which didn’t have such happy memories. The church and cemetery provided the inspiration for The History Of Zombies, which is still available on Amazon!

The History Of Zombies on Amazon

The second graveyard was Brooklands cemetery, where several of my family members are buried. We struggled to find one particular grave, but a helpful graveyard maintenance chap asked us for details. We knew the name, and that it would have been 70s or 80s when he was interred, but that was about it. A quick phone call produced a reference, and within seconds we had found the final resting place of my grandmother’s cousin!

The following week we did something a little different, though still church related. We went to the United Reformed Church in Sale, and my mum was sceptical at first as a devout Roman Catholic. The event was the PTA, or Pleasant Tuesday Afternoon, as they liked to call it, and involved around 20 senior citizens gathering for a chat, tea, cake and biscuits. It was indeed a pleasant Tuesday afternoon, until one of the ladies stood up and made the following announcement…

“It is the Townswomens Guild meeting on Thursday, and unfortunately Mary Higgs has passed away since the last meeting.”

After a brief pause, another lady stood up and announced, “No she hasn’t, she’s sat over there.”

And indeed she was. It was a case of mistaken identity, and very “Vicar Of Dibley”. I can picture my mum saying, “It wouldn’t happen in a Catholic Church!”

Zachary Played Guitar

Zac has taken up two activities recently, Jujitsu and Guitar. He has completed his first few guitar lessons, but not without incident. He needed to restring my guitar, for which he had to take it apart. It involved unscrewing, drilling, missing pieces, and all manner of household tools. The guitar is still not back in one piece! Meanwhile, my guitar was really only a temporary solution,. He wants an acoustic and an electric. After his first lesson he decided we should just buy an acoustic, as his guitar teacher has a friend who will make him a custom electric.

He has always fancied himself as a bit of a Jimi Hendrix!

I also took him to the Leek Blues Festival to appreciate some live music and he was very impressed. He particularly liked the double bass, though his favourite was Elvis Fontenot, playing rocked up Zydeco and Cajun music. I suspect his next request might be for a washboard.

Cleanliness And A Teenage Boy

The Jujitsu brings its own set of problems. He has successfully enrolled, and he now has a Gi to wear during lessons. There are very strict instructions about cleanliness and hygiene, and the Gi is supposed to be washed after every session. I am not sure Zac has fully grasped this, as before one session I asked if he was having a wash, to which he replied, “I had one yesterday and I’ve not done much since.” Before his latest session I asked if he had washed his Gi. “No,” he said, “I’m just going to spray it with Febreze.”

Next Box Down

Sometimes in life, usually every ten years, you get to a birthday that I like to call “the next box down”. This happened to me recently, so now when I fill in an online form, where you indicate your age range as being 20-29, 30-31, etc, I have now reached the next box down.

We have several things planned, but as gifts I received a fully enamelled paella pan and several terracotta pots that are just perfect for the imminent arrival of the new oven.

Fuego have promised this for tomorrow – so fingers crossed.

And speaking of presents, Fiona was very impressed when Zac walked in and handed his mum a tin of Heroes. “Just for you,” he said. The bubble was well and truly burst when Sally explained that he had only bought that as he had eaten almost a whole tin that she had put away for Christmas!

Madam!

Our annual trip to York races, that now happens several times a year, was not without incident. A friend had a runner, but he would not be able to attend, so Sally decided that we should represent him, especially if it meant visiting the winners enclosure. Unfortunately the horse was running in the last race, by which time we had consumed rather a lot of alcohol. We met the jockey, and he was hopeful rather than confident.

As the horses went off towards the start, Sally spotted a friend on the other side of the parade ring fence. She crossed the path to speak to them, blissfully unaware that another horse was still parading. “Madam!” shouted the female steward, but Lady M did not respond. “MADAM!” she shouted again, with a fair degree of urgency as the horse approached. When there was still no response she grabbed Sally by the waist and manhandled her to safety on the other side of the path. There are not many who would have been brave enough to do that, but I think the champagne had probably mellowed the Lady by that time.

Over at Middlethorpe Hall, our hotel of choice for the racing, my sister spotted a woman in a long red dress, but when she and Sally tried to see who she was, she was gone! So is Middlethorpe haunted? Woooooooo! More to follow on this one I am sure.

The following day I went to York again, this time in the “cheap seats” that are the grandstand and paddock. Whilst I am always quick to praise York as a racecourse, the queues at the bars and food stalls were unacceptable. Wouldn’t surprise me if many people were put off having to wait 25 minutes for a can of lager.

It’s Good To Be Back

After what seemed like an age we finally got back to London to watch the NFL. The main difference was that we travelled to Tottenham’s stadium rather than Wembley, and if I’m being honest I prefer Wembley.

We bought premium tickets for Atlanta Falcons vs New York Jets, which allowed us some free food before the game, but we would have preferred to walk around the stadium and sample all sorts of stuff rather han the basic choice of pulled pork or mac n cheese. However, we had managed sausage rolls at Euston so we weren’t too hungry.

Only In America!

Bets were on, cheerleaders were on the pitch, and we settled back for the national anthems. The British was a formal affair, with a lady in a flowing red dress belting it out in perfect tune. The American version started and we wondered where the singer was, until we looked up and saw her on the roof. The boys thought this was a typical US thing to do, well over the top, and sarcastically suggested that they would probably end up with fireworks and jets! As she built up to the finale, sure enough, four fighter jets flew over the stadium, followed by an enormous burst of red, white and blue fireworks.

The game itself was quite a good one, and it seemed like some of the bets must come in but sadly not! However, that was offset by Aitch who was performing the half time show. To be honest, although he was described as “Manchester’s finest”, I had never heard of him. After Ole enthused about the three songs he performed, I must admit that it sounded like just one to me!

The highlight of the second half was Zac catching a mini football fired into the crowd. We missed out on a few t-shirts and other assorted missiles, but the football was safely clutched and tucked away.

All Aboard

When the game finished we managed to get to the train within a couple of minutes. This meant that we were an hour early on our journey home. However, if the train had a capacity of 100 there were at least 200 passengers on board, a breeding ground for disease. It made me feel like I should book a Covid test for the following day.

Euston station is not the best for Sunday evening food, so we went to Burger King. Strangely, because it was after 6pm, they only served “large” meals. Not sure what people concerned with obesity would say about that, but I don’t think they need to worry. The BK version of “large” is actually miniscule! A real rip off and an experience that won’t be repeated.

Another Big Birthday

It was Zac’s 18th birthday a week later, and, as explained earlier, he wanted a new guitar. We headed down to the marvellous PMT on the outskirts of Manchester, and we could have spent hours in there. We cut this short as we had a lunch date with Gabi, Ciaran, Nixie and Miles. Unfortunately Reds True Barbeque has gone a bit downhill, and is certainly not a patch on Hickorys, but the kids seemed to enjoy it.

Newmarket By Numbers

Finally, we set off for Tattersalls in Newmarket to buy our racehorse, and came back with more than we bargained for! A very smooth run down meant we were in position by 9.15 with the sales starting at 10. Our friend and bloodstock agent, Luke Lillingston, had made a list, and so had I. Sadly, not many of my choices were on his list. So, we decided to go with him as I did not really know what I was looking for.

Our first choice was in the ring at about 10.40am so we got into position and prepared to bid. I would have been a little disappointed to win that horse as we had planned a full two days. However, I needn’t have worried. We never even got to raise our hand as the price soared to £80,000.

This trend continued for the rest of the day, and it was close to 9pm when our final candidate for the day appeared under the hammer. This time we did get to place a bid. Unfortunately it soon sailed on past our limit and eventually sold for £28,000. However, we did get to meet the wonderful Willy Carson who was selling horses from his stud farm.

We had dinner and then returned to our hotel, ready for tomorrow’s skirmishes. It was a really nice hotel, but we did not have much time to spend there. Even the breakfast had to be a take away!

Lunch With The Maddens

Back at the sales we visited horse after horse and came up with a shortlist of 9 or 10. The first of these went for £50,000, and we then had a gap to regroup. A horse shied away from Sally, clearly disturbed by her black coat. Another got loose and almost knocked me over. It was a hazardous time so we retired for lunch with another business associate. He was off to St James Palace later that day, for a charity dinner with Prince Charles and the ruler of Qatar. Sally complimented him on it. “Lunch with the Maddens followed by dinner with Prince Charles and the ruler of Qatar. That’s quite a day you’ll have.”

Star Of Lady M

After lunch we looked at more fillies, and some were crossed off the list after we saw them in the parade ring. Others went for far too much, and by 5.30pm we were left with just four. The first of these, a beautiful grey by the stallion Havana Grey, looked to be in our price range. We were bidding against ex jockey and now successful trainer Jamie Osborne, but he must have seen how determined we were. The hammer went down, and she was ours. We registered her for her journey home, then went to take photos. After that she went for a wind test. This is where she runs round in a circle for five minutes and a vet listens for any odd noises. Not particularly scientific but a well established final check.

We retired to the bar to celebrate, and after some deliberation we decided to call her Star Of Lady M (subject to confirmation). She will be trained by David O’Meara close to York, and she will run in these colours!

Derbyshire Duchess

While we were in the bar our other three choices were due into the ring. The first and third of these were half sisters, but we thought they would be out of our price range. The first went for £35,000 and so we were even more pleased with our purchase. The penultimate selection was our least favoured, but even that went for £22,000, and we were expecting £50-£60,000 for the last one, which on looks would have been our first choice. Luke went into the ring to see who was bidding, and he even placed a couple of bids himself but to no avail. She went for the surprisingly small sum of £20,000, and very quickly Luke had news!

The trainer, Tim Easterby, had bought her, and the breeder, Richard Kent, wanted to retain 25%. The rest would be sold, and she seemed to fit the profile of our syndicate. So, half an hour after having no horses, we now had one and three quarters. Monday was busy with registrations and conversations, but our second filly is likely to be named Derbyshire Duchess. She will probably run in the same colours as Star Of Lady M. More updates to follow!

February 1, 2021 by Mike Madden

If You Cant Stand The Heat…

We had a very strange occurrence this week! The boys have bought some wrestling mats that they lay down wherever there is space and then grapple with each other. Yesterday they used our bedroom floor, and Bo decided to see what all of the fuss was about. A short time later Ole called down to check on Bo as she was acting rather strange. She was rubbing herself on the mat, yowling constantly, and “presenting” her rear end. Quite simply, she was in heat. Ole kind of realised, and as Zac was stroking her, trying to comfort her, Ole warned his brother, “I wouldn’t do that if I was you mate.” When the problem was confirmed they were both mortified. Bo could smell their sweat and she obviously thought they were two Tom cats fighting for her attention. Zac had a million and one questions, like how does it last for? Is she in pain? etc. Ole simply closed his door and refused to let her in.

A trip to the vet is in order!

The Lockdown Legacy

The lockdown goes on and on and on!

Our holiday, originally booked for 14th February and subsequently moved to 28th March, may have to be further delayed to May. I’ve forgotten what a beach looks like.

So, of course, you have to find things to keep yourself busy, I am still working more hours than I want to, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and we all know what happens next!

Return To Radio

So I started recording more radio shows for Lockdown Radio. Lots of musicians had Christmas records out, and they were all looking for publicity. First up it was Marty Wilde, the famous 50s and 60s rocker. He was a great guest, and one of the first to receive the Covid vaccine. You can listen to the show here:-

Next up it was a double header, with Chris Meredith followed by the sensational Limahl. I had a lovely chat with Limahl that continued well after the show finished. You can bring back your memories of Kajagoogoo here:-

Finally, it was Richard and Fred Fairbrass, better known as Right Said Fred. These guys could have filled a month of shows with their take on music, Covid, and the world in general. Really good conversation, as well as fantastic music.

Next up I have a show containing the cheesiest records of all time, and an alternative take on Valentine records!

Driving Mister Zachary

Zac’s driving lessons have progressed, but not without incident. Lockdown meant that his regular lessons were severely restricted, so we decided to insure him on my car, as we had done previously with Ole. We concentrated on minor roads, but he got nervous around Taxal Moor, particularly when he had to turn around! A three point turn was a lot more than three points, and I almost rued my decision not at have parktronic fitted as he narrowly missed a post whilst reversing. He improved daily, and we decided to let him drive to Stockport on Christmas Day.  Sally was in the passenger seat, with Ole and myself in the back. There was a lot of agitated conversation, that came to a crescendo as we approached the lights at the Rising Sun in Hazel Grove.

“Slow down,” said Sally.

No reaction

“Slow down,” said Sally, raising her voice and gripping her seat more tightly.

No reaction, and the lights changed to red.

“Slow down,” said Sally, slamming her foot on an imaginary brake.

As we sailed through the red light Zac shrugged. “Too late now,” he said.

Sally insisted that we switch drivers at the next available layby, but even that was not without incident as she shouted at him to pull over with very little notice. He was getting stressed and her urging was stressing him more.

But he continued to improve! However, we had some stormy weather. This did not affect the driving, but the next time Sally and Zac went out there were shaking fists, blasts on the horn and verbal abuse. Of course, Sally gave as good as she got, and it was only when they returned home that she realised that the storms must have dislodged the L plates. Other road users were simply unaware that Zac was a learner, which is obviously illegal!

He booked a theory test in Stoke, but he failed. Whilst Sally was pleased that she had managed to get him a test at such short notice, she regretted the destination as she had to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that Zac attributed his failure to. Still, it was only a 90 minute journey. On the positive side, he got a second test in Salford, and his brave brother Ole accompanied him. This time there were no such problems as he passed with ease. His driving test is scheduled for April, lockdown permitting.

Lights, Camera, Payment

Ole got good feedback from his Coronation Street audition, but sadly no role, and he has not heard anything from a recent Halfords ad audition. This doesn’t seem to have affected his income, as he received yet more fees for the BUPA ad, this time for the use of stills taken at the shoot. Look out for mugshots appearing on a billboard soon!

A Different Canal

There is never a good time to get a toothache, and Christmas makes it so much worse. So, when my tooth started aching in November I booked myself in. Root canal surgery was the diagnosis, so I made another appointment and prepared for the worst. Actually, all of the horror stories are mostly exaggerated. There was certainly discomfort sitting in the chair for 90 minutes, but without doubt the biggest pain comes when you get out of the chair, go to reception and pick up the bill.

News From The Kitchen

Lockdown weekends meant lockdown treats, including brownies, rocky road and various other festive chocolate based comestibles.

The brownies went particularly well with lashings of brandy cream!

Its not all sweet stuff though, and Ole’s favourite Mexican lentil soup has been on the menu quite a few times.

Christmas Crackers

Obviously Christmas was not the same as normal years, and in particular my stroll to the Drum & Monkey for a few pints of Peroni on Christmas Eve was sadly missed. We decided to have a bonfire instead, and despite several wet days we managed to get a roaring flame. Festive beverages were downed with the traditional cheese & onion pie, plus a Mediterranean twist of Ciabatta with oil and balsamic, and we raised a toast to next Christmas.

Sally decided that the Creole Cake should have a minimalistic look this year – I’m not convinced, but it still disappeared very quickly!

New Year was another strange one, spent playing Game Of Thrones Risk, which was lost on me as I have not watched a single episode. Midnight saw another bonfire with a few impressive fireworks, but again we look forward to normality resuming on December 31st this year.

Bo loved Christmas, and surprisingly the Christmas tree remained intact. The same could not be said for some ornamental twigs and another upright Christmas sculpture.

Perhaps more surprising is her love of that most traditional of Christmas vegetables, the sprout!

Robot Wars

The boys bought us a robot vacuum cleaner for Christmas, and you might think it was to make their lives easier when they do their chores, but you would be wrong. They don’t really do chores. Anyway, Bo is intrigued by it as it chugs its way around various rooms, cleverly changing direction when it hits a blockage. However, if you ever consider getting one of these, ensure you close all doors and block any nooks and crannies. We have lost ours on several occasions; its favourite hiding spaces seem to be under the television cabinet and at the back of the settee.

Business Woes

Brexit may well have impacted Buyanom, as mare owners arranged their 2021 matings far in advance to avoid any complexities arising from transporting horses into the EU. 

Worse affected has been PubHead. Our pub based app has more or less been put on hold, but we will be ready with a big launch party when the pubs are open again.

On The Bench

I started another bench project, and this time it turned out to be a lot more complicated. The two cast iron bench ends needed some TLC to restore them, and as they were powder coated I had to sand them down. I spray painted them black, along with the two cast iron braces, and they came up really well.

The slats were a challenge. Without the previous ones to work from I guessed at the sizes required, though I don’t think it would have made much difference. However, the holes did make a difference. I discovered that the holes in the bench ends were not uniform, and some of them were as much as half a centimetre out. I also discovered, though this is hardly news, that there is no “give” in cast iron, so if the hole in the slat was not aligned with the hole in the cast iron, it would have to be re-drilled.

Anyway, I painted them fire engine red, and started the tricky process of inserting the correctly drilled slats in the right order. This was not like one of those plastic puzzles where you can slide the tiles up and down until you get them in the correct order. If a slat was out of order it would often mean the removal of two or three other slats or even starting again. I am sure a professional DIYer would have planned this in advance, but I am not that person. I got it done eventually, and tightened the nuts which required significant dexterity. Finally it was done, and it looks impressive even if I do say so myself. Next? Well not another bench for sure.

And Finally…

I bought a trail camera and have finally set it up to record the presence of wildlife in the garden. Badgers and foxes have been seen quite close by, but I’m not sure that they would venture this side of the railway line. It has also been suggested that deer might frequent the area near the vegetable patch, but the only way deer will appear is if they are parachuted in, or they are accompanying Santa’s sleigh. The first night has so far been inconclusive, as it was so cold that the batteries died. Rechargeable, low discharge replacements are on their way! I will let you know how it goes in the next edition.